There are three things a diva may turn to, to help her get through the shame of being dumped - copious amounts of wine, unlimited retail therapy and the steady demolition of her favourite sugary treat.
I favour a fourth way - the gym or in this instance a hard core session on the treadmill, followed by hitting the punchbag as hard as possible, while visualling it with M2's face on it.
I must have still been sporting the look of a deranged, angry woman on my face during my train journey home, because I caught the eye of a fellow male passenger who declared
"Cheer up darling, it might never happen!". "It already has" I said.
"Let me guess darling, man trouble?" I nodded.
"Don't worry you'll get over it". "I already have" I replied smiling, as I got off the train. M2 who?
Monday, 12 October 2009
Sunday, 11 October 2009
Putting A Lid On It!
Now that the dust has settled and more importantly I have sent a measured, but suitably cutting "....And another thing" e-mail to M2- which really it had to be done, because he's just been such a dickhead. No spark my arse - he has been all over me like a rash from the first moment moment we met, including some very, very soppy text messages.
Ordinarily this diva maintains her cool in break-up situations (with my track record I've had a lot of experience!) and if he had displayed just one morsel of shame, I might have let him get away with that lame kiss off. Being classy can be such a bore sometimes, particularly when you know someone is taking the complete piss out of you. However, M2's 360, plus his dumb arse follow-up text message, definitely warranted him being called out by me, for being the insincere, indecisive wolf that he is.
Who knows maybe he has indeed gone back to his ex, that's what usually happens in these scenarios. The very same ex who he was too scarced to tell that he was seeing me, for fear of jeoparisdising a favourable post-split deal on the house, the business and more importantly potentially losing custody rights to the dog. Yes, you did hear me right his damned dog, or actually his ex's damned dog !
That should have been a flag right there for me huh?. Lesson 101 in the Great Book of Dating, has just been learned !
Ordinarily this diva maintains her cool in break-up situations (with my track record I've had a lot of experience!) and if he had displayed just one morsel of shame, I might have let him get away with that lame kiss off. Being classy can be such a bore sometimes, particularly when you know someone is taking the complete piss out of you. However, M2's 360, plus his dumb arse follow-up text message, definitely warranted him being called out by me, for being the insincere, indecisive wolf that he is.
Who knows maybe he has indeed gone back to his ex, that's what usually happens in these scenarios. The very same ex who he was too scarced to tell that he was seeing me, for fear of jeoparisdising a favourable post-split deal on the house, the business and more importantly potentially losing custody rights to the dog. Yes, you did hear me right his damned dog, or actually his ex's damned dog !
That should have been a flag right there for me huh?. Lesson 101 in the Great Book of Dating, has just been learned !
Saturday, 10 October 2009
Rallying Round !
When the chips are down and a diva is feeling bummed out, she can always rely on her friends to step in and give her a firm talking to.
A responded in typical brutual fashion "BB he's definitely not for you. He just said the right things you wanted hear and got to you that way. Yes, that text message he sent you was stupid, but remember me and H ? I don't want you to turn this on yourself, just forget about him, really who is this guy anyway?"
S & R dropped by to whisk me away to IKEA for sympathy, meatballs and buying something for just for the hell of it therapy. R was uncharasteristically vocal "He's an idiot. It's like he's made this decision without even thinking about it. Not everything is about thunderbolts and sparks flying around. What about slow burn, getting to know someone and hell whatever happened to compromise".
"You went away with him, joined in with him, doing something that scarces the crap out of you (we went to a theme park and I got on some really big rides against my better judgement and so M2 wouldn't have to go on everything by himself - I know you've got to give me 10 out of 10 for effort!) put yourself out there for him and this is how he behaves" . He sounds like an indecisive knob!".
G was even more scathing "What a f..cking arsehole! You're honest with him about what you want, hell you even asked him whether he was in the right place to be dating and he just acts like a total dickhead. What an arsehole!"
I agreed with all of the above of course and thank my friends for reassuring me that M2 should be consigned to box of losers in my past and that his opinion is one to completely ignore.
The ritual of removing M2 began when I deleted M2's last incredibly stupid text to me and ended with me deleting his number from my phone. I then congratulated myself for being tear and sugar free - after all what's the point of wasting my energy and eating my way into a sugary frenzy.
What a difference a year of dodgy dating makes - no expectations - no disappointment - or at least no disappointment big enough for me to feel blue about anymore! Men, I just don't understand them.
A responded in typical brutual fashion "BB he's definitely not for you. He just said the right things you wanted hear and got to you that way. Yes, that text message he sent you was stupid, but remember me and H ? I don't want you to turn this on yourself, just forget about him, really who is this guy anyway?"
S & R dropped by to whisk me away to IKEA for sympathy, meatballs and buying something for just for the hell of it therapy. R was uncharasteristically vocal "He's an idiot. It's like he's made this decision without even thinking about it. Not everything is about thunderbolts and sparks flying around. What about slow burn, getting to know someone and hell whatever happened to compromise".
"You went away with him, joined in with him, doing something that scarces the crap out of you (we went to a theme park and I got on some really big rides against my better judgement and so M2 wouldn't have to go on everything by himself - I know you've got to give me 10 out of 10 for effort!) put yourself out there for him and this is how he behaves" . He sounds like an indecisive knob!".
G was even more scathing "What a f..cking arsehole! You're honest with him about what you want, hell you even asked him whether he was in the right place to be dating and he just acts like a total dickhead. What an arsehole!"
I agreed with all of the above of course and thank my friends for reassuring me that M2 should be consigned to box of losers in my past and that his opinion is one to completely ignore.
The ritual of removing M2 began when I deleted M2's last incredibly stupid text to me and ended with me deleting his number from my phone. I then congratulated myself for being tear and sugar free - after all what's the point of wasting my energy and eating my way into a sugary frenzy.
What a difference a year of dodgy dating makes - no expectations - no disappointment - or at least no disappointment big enough for me to feel blue about anymore! Men, I just don't understand them.
Same Old Story, Same Old Song
It appears that M2 does indeed know what he wants and it isn't me. It seems my cynical initial misgivings about M2 were spot on. How I long to be proved wrong by a man...any man....come on there must be one man out there, who is exactly what and who he says he is, knows what he wants and doesn't play games or do a U-turn of moumental proportions.
We have just returned from a few nights away and while seated on my sofa drinking my perfectly made tea, M2 calmly declared that he didn't think there was 'a spark between us, he couldn't see himself falling in love with me anytime soon (what an idiot) but that I was a 'lovely person".
I said I was disappointed, which I was, because he appeared to have put a lot of time into convincing me that he was genuinely interested in me, that I let my guard down really began to enjoy his company and all the silly things like funny and filthy texts and end of the day phone calls; only to find myself disappointed again.
Being disappointed by men is something boring, that I am so used to experiencing, that if a straight, available man actually was genuinely interested in me and then didn't disappoint me, I am absolutely sure the shock would probably kill me!
The effort, time and energy that it took me to suspend my disbelief, open up, talk to M2, get to know him and get 'involved' with him has not been completely misspent. Once again I have learnt a valuable lesson that nice guys can just be a different class of the bad boys (aka bastards) I have routinely gone for since I started dating.
M2 obviously felt sufficiently good about the way he'd left things with me, to feel that keeping the lines of communication open was appropriate, and has just sent the following cheery text message saying that "It was not my intention to make you sad. Keep smiling B". Cheers M2, a truly legendary moment in inappropriate behaviour.
It beggars belief the unfortunate timing and ways men come up with along a generous smattering of temporary verbal diarrhoea which seems to afflict them, when they dump women.
For the record, to the men who read my blog - Being told there is no spark by a man, tells the woman on the receiving end of said statement t,hat they are missing lacking something. It could be anything - brains, beauty, sex appeal whatever. However, in no shape or form is it a nice, cheery, warm, friendly, positive thing for a woman to hear; and the likelyhood of said woman continuing to smile when confronted by this statement, is in a nutshell totally unlikely.
Being told that somebody doesn't seeing themselves falling in love with you, for a woman is like being hurt with a blunt instrument in a very delicate place as both your pride and ego take a double whammy to the guts.
If you then add to that, being told by the same person , that they didn't mean to hurt you, think you're great anyway; then this truly takes the biscuit .....nice knowing you M2, you are a total idiot!
We have just returned from a few nights away and while seated on my sofa drinking my perfectly made tea, M2 calmly declared that he didn't think there was 'a spark between us, he couldn't see himself falling in love with me anytime soon (what an idiot) but that I was a 'lovely person".
I said I was disappointed, which I was, because he appeared to have put a lot of time into convincing me that he was genuinely interested in me, that I let my guard down really began to enjoy his company and all the silly things like funny and filthy texts and end of the day phone calls; only to find myself disappointed again.
Being disappointed by men is something boring, that I am so used to experiencing, that if a straight, available man actually was genuinely interested in me and then didn't disappoint me, I am absolutely sure the shock would probably kill me!
The effort, time and energy that it took me to suspend my disbelief, open up, talk to M2, get to know him and get 'involved' with him has not been completely misspent. Once again I have learnt a valuable lesson that nice guys can just be a different class of the bad boys (aka bastards) I have routinely gone for since I started dating.
M2 obviously felt sufficiently good about the way he'd left things with me, to feel that keeping the lines of communication open was appropriate, and has just sent the following cheery text message saying that "It was not my intention to make you sad. Keep smiling B". Cheers M2, a truly legendary moment in inappropriate behaviour.
It beggars belief the unfortunate timing and ways men come up with along a generous smattering of temporary verbal diarrhoea which seems to afflict them, when they dump women.
For the record, to the men who read my blog - Being told there is no spark by a man, tells the woman on the receiving end of said statement t,hat they are missing lacking something. It could be anything - brains, beauty, sex appeal whatever. However, in no shape or form is it a nice, cheery, warm, friendly, positive thing for a woman to hear; and the likelyhood of said woman continuing to smile when confronted by this statement, is in a nutshell totally unlikely.
Being told that somebody doesn't seeing themselves falling in love with you, for a woman is like being hurt with a blunt instrument in a very delicate place as both your pride and ego take a double whammy to the guts.
If you then add to that, being told by the same person , that they didn't mean to hurt you, think you're great anyway; then this truly takes the biscuit .....nice knowing you M2, you are a total idiot!
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Back With A Bang !
So for those of you who have been worried about my absence online, fear not. Since last we spoke, my mum has made a swift recovery from her illness. My appraisal with HWMBO was a car crash meeting of two people in a terminal relationship, resulting in me stepping up my efforts to find a new 'opportunity' elsewhere.
I am finally on my much vaulted holiday and enjoying reading, writing, staying up even later then usual and just having some time to myself for the first time in what seems like ages. Another thing which hasn't happened in ages is me receiving the attentions of a good man.
Despite my initial slightly judgemental reservations, M2 continues to be a man on a mission to win my affections. He calls on time, turns up for dates, snogs like a dream (among other things!), is funny, smart, can fit kitchens, bathrooms and is able to lay floors - I know, a man with genuine DIY skills - an allrounder!
How long his pursuit of me continues for, I have no idea, but what a change it makes to spend time with a man who knows what he wants. Correction - seems to know what he wants. I was beginning to think that this class of man was extinct!
I am finally on my much vaulted holiday and enjoying reading, writing, staying up even later then usual and just having some time to myself for the first time in what seems like ages. Another thing which hasn't happened in ages is me receiving the attentions of a good man.
Despite my initial slightly judgemental reservations, M2 continues to be a man on a mission to win my affections. He calls on time, turns up for dates, snogs like a dream (among other things!), is funny, smart, can fit kitchens, bathrooms and is able to lay floors - I know, a man with genuine DIY skills - an allrounder!
How long his pursuit of me continues for, I have no idea, but what a change it makes to spend time with a man who knows what he wants. Correction - seems to know what he wants. I was beginning to think that this class of man was extinct!
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