I never cease to be amazed at the capacity of men to be captivated by the size of women's breast.
I laughed like a drain, as a succession of men craned their necks, did 360's and just out and out stared at the prettish glamour model clone I found myself standing beside on the train platform, with a chest that truly defied gravity.
It was like watching a group of lions circling their potential prey. Gradually one or two moved in for a close looked at the two happy cushions on her chest, that looked like they would be best suited on the frame of a much larger lady.
I did marvel for just a second at the fortitude of a size 4 model, who could balance not only on 4 inch heels, but also 'blessed' with such oversized puppied, somehow still manage to stand up straight. She sat opposite me and we exchanged knowing smiles, as a young very excited looking teenage boy, vaulted for the seat beside me and proceeded to stare full on at her chest.
The air was thick with sexual tension and teenage hormones and finally as the train drew to a halt Ms Love Cushions turned to her ardent admirer and said
"Yes they are real !" winked and got off the train.
I turned to looked at my travelling companion and noticed he was bright red and was gently sliding his bag across his lap.
I was still laughing as I when I arrived at a leaving do with my old workmates.
You know when you were right to leave somewhere, when first you are congratulated by pretty much everyone for 'getting out!' and then, when three other people at the same leaving do, tell you that they are also leaving the company.
It was great to see everyone and hug it out with them BB style. I laughed all night and my stomach was still aching, back home as I stood in my kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil.
Sunday, 15 August 2010
Monday, 9 August 2010
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
There's a good way to end things and a coward's way to end things and M's now ex boyfriend takes the prize for being a prize idiot.
It was bad enough that he didn't show up at the hospital, but to play the 'I'm so busy', card following on from such a poor display of manners and compassion, really is the lowest of the low.
When I talked with M I tried to offer her the best advice I could.
"Wait to see what he has to say for himself. If you still get no reply, tell him you are taking it as a sign, that he wants you to hand the stuff that he's left at your house to the local charity store!"
Being the true lady that she is, she didn't slag him off via phone, text or even email. She left a few messages requesting that he come and pick up his things. Still nothing.
She finally lost patience and sent the following...
" The way you handled the situation when I was sick and in hospital and needed you, showed me all I really needed to know. You would not have treated a dog the way you treated me and especially because I was there for you when you were going through it".
"I need to know that I can count on the person I am supposed to spend my life with, but what you showed me is that you did not give a damn".
There's nothing worse than seeing one of the nicest people you know, one of your best friends and to say I am disgusted on her behalf is putting it mildly. The man is one of life's ultimate pigs!
PROLOGUE
Unbelivably this jackarse has since contacted M finally today, pleading for forgiveness. Long standing readers of my musings will remember my short lived non-romance with the Bolter.
He just like H, was able to employ the vanishing man act, to maximum effect when faced with a situation which either looked like it might prove a little tricky, or just required him to think about someone else for a change, instead of acting like a selfish spoilt brat.
Classic executors of the disappearing man symptom, then calculate just how long it will take their often willing, long suffering victim to calm down, before they think it is safe to pop up and pullthe same stunt again.
It remains to be seen what camp M falls in. I'm hoping she realises that she is worth a lot more than this clown thinks she is and she leaves him where he deserves to be on the kerb.
It was bad enough that he didn't show up at the hospital, but to play the 'I'm so busy', card following on from such a poor display of manners and compassion, really is the lowest of the low.
When I talked with M I tried to offer her the best advice I could.
"Wait to see what he has to say for himself. If you still get no reply, tell him you are taking it as a sign, that he wants you to hand the stuff that he's left at your house to the local charity store!"
Being the true lady that she is, she didn't slag him off via phone, text or even email. She left a few messages requesting that he come and pick up his things. Still nothing.
She finally lost patience and sent the following...
" The way you handled the situation when I was sick and in hospital and needed you, showed me all I really needed to know. You would not have treated a dog the way you treated me and especially because I was there for you when you were going through it".
"I need to know that I can count on the person I am supposed to spend my life with, but what you showed me is that you did not give a damn".
There's nothing worse than seeing one of the nicest people you know, one of your best friends and to say I am disgusted on her behalf is putting it mildly. The man is one of life's ultimate pigs!
PROLOGUE
Unbelivably this jackarse has since contacted M finally today, pleading for forgiveness. Long standing readers of my musings will remember my short lived non-romance with the Bolter.
He just like H, was able to employ the vanishing man act, to maximum effect when faced with a situation which either looked like it might prove a little tricky, or just required him to think about someone else for a change, instead of acting like a selfish spoilt brat.
Classic executors of the disappearing man symptom, then calculate just how long it will take their often willing, long suffering victim to calm down, before they think it is safe to pop up and pullthe same stunt again.
It remains to be seen what camp M falls in. I'm hoping she realises that she is worth a lot more than this clown thinks she is and she leaves him where he deserves to be on the kerb.
Monday, 2 August 2010
It's Over !
There must be something in the water. After LL's encounter with Mr SuperSulk last week, today my phone trilled with more He's Not A Nice Guy news.
"Can you give a quick call today! I need a friend to talk to!", said M's text.
I won't lie I wasn't surprised. M and F are like the Burton and Taylor of our group of friends. When it's good with them, everything runs like a slow motion love sequence in a blockbuster movie.
When it's bad, there's more drama then a double dose of the most far fetched soap opera. Their combined ability to row about the big stuff and the small stuff with equal intensity and for about the same length of time.
Invariably I get a midnight caller moment and dispense my standard advice for anyone in a love you/hate you relationship - Move On!
Their latest spat was gale force 100 and it looks like it's all over. M had been feeling unwell for a few days. She's one of those type of people who refuses to be sick.
That is until she collapsed at work and landed up in hospital. F told her he was tied up with work and would call her later. When she was released from hospital, later on that evening, he still hadn't called.
He wasn't at her when she got home, but fortunately, one of the girls at work stayed with her until she fell asleep. She woke up alone at 3am and yes, you've guessed it, still no sign of him.
He didn't call the next day or the next, or for next week and she still hasn't heard from him!
"I can't believe he could be so fucking cold", said M angrily.
"Looks like you've got a Bolter on your hands!" I replied.
"Can you give a quick call today! I need a friend to talk to!", said M's text.
I won't lie I wasn't surprised. M and F are like the Burton and Taylor of our group of friends. When it's good with them, everything runs like a slow motion love sequence in a blockbuster movie.
When it's bad, there's more drama then a double dose of the most far fetched soap opera. Their combined ability to row about the big stuff and the small stuff with equal intensity and for about the same length of time.
Invariably I get a midnight caller moment and dispense my standard advice for anyone in a love you/hate you relationship - Move On!
Their latest spat was gale force 100 and it looks like it's all over. M had been feeling unwell for a few days. She's one of those type of people who refuses to be sick.
That is until she collapsed at work and landed up in hospital. F told her he was tied up with work and would call her later. When she was released from hospital, later on that evening, he still hadn't called.
He wasn't at her when she got home, but fortunately, one of the girls at work stayed with her until she fell asleep. She woke up alone at 3am and yes, you've guessed it, still no sign of him.
He didn't call the next day or the next, or for next week and she still hasn't heard from him!
"I can't believe he could be so fucking cold", said M angrily.
"Looks like you've got a Bolter on your hands!" I replied.
Friday, 30 July 2010
Good Manners Cost Nothing !
I know that men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, but there is no reason for some men to experience good manners dysfunctionality.
Take LL who last week went to a festival with a suitor. Her date brought her ticket, which she offered to pay for. When her date declined, to balance things out and show her appreciation,she proceeded to pay for all their drinks, cigarettes and snacks during the day.
She was rewarded, or so she thought with a t-shirt and a smooch, which she thanked him for. At the end of the festival, they stayed to hang out with some friends.
LL got on particularly well with a rather cheeky friend of a friend, but made it clear to him, in front of their friends that she was actually with somebody, and even pointed him out to the cheeky boy.
He accepted this and when she and her date, ended up missing the last train home, one their friends (not the cheeky boy!), offered them a bed for the night and said they would give them a lift to station the next morning.
In the morning, her date sulked. He sulked over breakfast, he sulked during their journey home, he even sulked, when she thanked him for taking her to the festival.
This morning, she got an email from him accusing her of humiliating him, being a 'wanton flirt' and itemised everything from the ticket price, including original booking fee, through to the t-shirt he 'gave' her as a 'gift'.
Best of all he actually included his bank details so she could the money in as cash.
The wonderful thing about LL is razor sharp wit. She responded thanking him for his email and itemising everything she has paid for over the two days of the festival.
Her grand total outstripped his by £9.00. She graciously told him, she was prepared to let him off and hoped he had a great life!
I am still trying to get my head around him giving her his bank account details !
Take LL who last week went to a festival with a suitor. Her date brought her ticket, which she offered to pay for. When her date declined, to balance things out and show her appreciation,she proceeded to pay for all their drinks, cigarettes and snacks during the day.
She was rewarded, or so she thought with a t-shirt and a smooch, which she thanked him for. At the end of the festival, they stayed to hang out with some friends.
LL got on particularly well with a rather cheeky friend of a friend, but made it clear to him, in front of their friends that she was actually with somebody, and even pointed him out to the cheeky boy.
He accepted this and when she and her date, ended up missing the last train home, one their friends (not the cheeky boy!), offered them a bed for the night and said they would give them a lift to station the next morning.
In the morning, her date sulked. He sulked over breakfast, he sulked during their journey home, he even sulked, when she thanked him for taking her to the festival.
This morning, she got an email from him accusing her of humiliating him, being a 'wanton flirt' and itemised everything from the ticket price, including original booking fee, through to the t-shirt he 'gave' her as a 'gift'.
Best of all he actually included his bank details so she could the money in as cash.
The wonderful thing about LL is razor sharp wit. She responded thanking him for his email and itemising everything she has paid for over the two days of the festival.
Her grand total outstripped his by £9.00. She graciously told him, she was prepared to let him off and hoped he had a great life!
I am still trying to get my head around him giving her his bank account details !
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Surprising Myself
In my bedroom just by the window, is my inspiration wall. Whenevre I have an idea, wish or intention, I write it on a post-it note and put it on my wall, where it stays as a daily reminder of what I want to achieve.
Yesterday I took down the following:
1) Be happy and leave HWMBO's negative vibes behind me
2) Find a job I am passionate about and like doing
3) Make more money, as believe it or not at work, I some how always manage to undersell myself.
4) Change gym's because my one's crap
5) Care more about me and try more new things like music, activities whatever I like the look of.
6) Turn my bathroom into a boutique hotel clone
The power of positive vibes shouldn't be sniffed at..after all it's only July !
All's that left is:
7) Find a new Mr Right Now
and
8) To win the lottery
Hope is a wonderful thing!
Yesterday I took down the following:
1) Be happy and leave HWMBO's negative vibes behind me
2) Find a job I am passionate about and like doing
3) Make more money, as believe it or not at work, I some how always manage to undersell myself.
4) Change gym's because my one's crap
5) Care more about me and try more new things like music, activities whatever I like the look of.
6) Turn my bathroom into a boutique hotel clone
The power of positive vibes shouldn't be sniffed at..after all it's only July !
All's that left is:
7) Find a new Mr Right Now
and
8) To win the lottery
Hope is a wonderful thing!
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