It is official HWMBO can be downright offensive sometimes. Today he made me cry not for the first time. I had barely switched on my laptop, before he hammered me for a diary mix-up. He seems to take some sort of sadistic pleasure in making me feel crap!
His exaggerated teeth grinding, head in hands, all while going on about how 'frustrated' he is by my inability to get things right. The power of monthly cheque this job is providing me with, was the only thing that made me hold my tongue.
I have resolved to show this man once and for all, just who the hell he's dealing with. A strong, independent woman who will succeed on her own terms, in spite of him. I shouldn't have to deal with this stress ! I am many things, but I am not and never will be a silent doormat, who lets people wipe themselves all over her.
No one (however important they may think they are or how outwardly successful), has the right to make another human being feel as bad as he did this morning. My determination to get away from living my life dependent on a single source of income has been sealed.
I should and do control my own destiny and happiness, not my job.
Friday, 31 July 2009
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Too Much Information !
I haven't been entirely honest with you dear readers. When I said I'd abandoned all cyber dating efforts, I was stretching the truth a little. A diva's gotta keep her hand in many pies, in pursuit of new blood and content for her blogs.
A and M's cautionery words about my approach to internet dating, have not fallen on deaf ears. The fickle and sometimes predatory nature of cyber inhabitants, can lead them to being almost too open about their preferences and desires.
Take D-007, 25 and looking for a sexy mature partner, swho sent me the following by way of introduction:
"About me well I love motorcycles and music. Specifically guitar and cats.I have an interesting job which i love very much and is demanding but rewarding. I would say I can be easy to get along with but serious sometimes. Oh and lady please note I really really love to give a woman oral pleasure, so if you are not into that then I am probably not for you. I only say this to avoid any such situation where I might meet you and if it gets to the serious stage find out you are not into that."
My first reaction was that of laughter "..specifically guitar and cats" - what a random connection of his favourite things ! D-007 take on his love of giving "oral pleasure" led me to consider the following.
While there are some things a woman needs to know, there are some things that should come as a pleasant surprise to her. A potential suitor who reveals all he has to offer from the get go, denies his lady the the mystery of a slow burn seduction, and the delicious delight of not knowing what to expect next !
A and M's cautionery words about my approach to internet dating, have not fallen on deaf ears. The fickle and sometimes predatory nature of cyber inhabitants, can lead them to being almost too open about their preferences and desires.
Take D-007, 25 and looking for a sexy mature partner, swho sent me the following by way of introduction:
"About me well I love motorcycles and music. Specifically guitar and cats.I have an interesting job which i love very much and is demanding but rewarding. I would say I can be easy to get along with but serious sometimes. Oh and lady please note I really really love to give a woman oral pleasure, so if you are not into that then I am probably not for you. I only say this to avoid any such situation where I might meet you and if it gets to the serious stage find out you are not into that."
My first reaction was that of laughter "..specifically guitar and cats" - what a random connection of his favourite things ! D-007 take on his love of giving "oral pleasure" led me to consider the following.
While there are some things a woman needs to know, there are some things that should come as a pleasant surprise to her. A potential suitor who reveals all he has to offer from the get go, denies his lady the the mystery of a slow burn seduction, and the delicious delight of not knowing what to expect next !
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
It's All In The Body and the Voice
When I workout, I think, people watch and amuse myself with the stories that unfold in front of me and the ones that friends tell me. A's latest encounter with a beautiful interior designer came to a premature end because of one little thing....his voice. His beautiful body didn't quite marry with a Julian Clary vocal and more camp guises than a drag queen at a beauty shop. So does the beauty of a man's body, excuse any other shortcomings he might have ?
I looked for the answer at my gym. My daily journeys to the gym have uncovered another dodgy habit to add to my growing list. I am a dirty gym watcher! The joy of perving over beautiful bodies remains a guilty pleasure I am not letting go of anytime soon !
There are three types of gym boys. First are the Muscle Boys. Sweaty adonis types bulging from head to toe with muscles, who lift heavy weights because they are there. These beautiful men admire themselves in the mirror, after every single set of reps, just to see what change has been wrought in their bodies. The muscle boys are distinguished by their competitive nature, a nature which subconsciously leads them to compete against the guy on the next bench to see who has the biggest muscles.
Type two are the Wannabes. These men have been lured to the gym by the promise of a body beautiful, which will only ever appear, if they actually put some hard work in! Wannabes have the right equipment (running gear, trainers and sometimes even head bands), but they have fretful, weak willpower and the durability of a melting marshmallow. When they are on the cross-trainer, they invariably get bored looking around to see if anyone hot is close by, or to see if anyone else around is as bored as they are.
A tiny section of the Wannabes are formerMuscle Boys. Contentment, middle-age spread, married or divorced life, in addition to long hours at work, laziness and children; mean that these guys don't have the time they once had to devote themselves to their body beautiful. Gym mirrors in which they once used to admire themselves, now serve as reminders of their past glories.
Finally there are the Lost Boys...or the hopeless cases. This category can be subdivided into corporate boys who've come to talk business while they 'train'. These gym sessions are distinguished by their infrequency, even mediocrity and and are often used as office watercooler conversation starters. And let us not forget the 'Fatties' ridiculously overweight men who hire personal trainers in a desperate battle with the bulge and spend their whole personal training session complaining aout how knackered they are.
Argh don't you just love working out!
I looked for the answer at my gym. My daily journeys to the gym have uncovered another dodgy habit to add to my growing list. I am a dirty gym watcher! The joy of perving over beautiful bodies remains a guilty pleasure I am not letting go of anytime soon !
There are three types of gym boys. First are the Muscle Boys. Sweaty adonis types bulging from head to toe with muscles, who lift heavy weights because they are there. These beautiful men admire themselves in the mirror, after every single set of reps, just to see what change has been wrought in their bodies. The muscle boys are distinguished by their competitive nature, a nature which subconsciously leads them to compete against the guy on the next bench to see who has the biggest muscles.
Type two are the Wannabes. These men have been lured to the gym by the promise of a body beautiful, which will only ever appear, if they actually put some hard work in! Wannabes have the right equipment (running gear, trainers and sometimes even head bands), but they have fretful, weak willpower and the durability of a melting marshmallow. When they are on the cross-trainer, they invariably get bored looking around to see if anyone hot is close by, or to see if anyone else around is as bored as they are.
A tiny section of the Wannabes are formerMuscle Boys. Contentment, middle-age spread, married or divorced life, in addition to long hours at work, laziness and children; mean that these guys don't have the time they once had to devote themselves to their body beautiful. Gym mirrors in which they once used to admire themselves, now serve as reminders of their past glories.
Finally there are the Lost Boys...or the hopeless cases. This category can be subdivided into corporate boys who've come to talk business while they 'train'. These gym sessions are distinguished by their infrequency, even mediocrity and and are often used as office watercooler conversation starters. And let us not forget the 'Fatties' ridiculously overweight men who hire personal trainers in a desperate battle with the bulge and spend their whole personal training session complaining aout how knackered they are.
Argh don't you just love working out!
Monday, 27 July 2009
Dreams Can Come True....Right!
It seems almost daily or weekly, something appears in a newspaper or magazine, or a throwaway comment from some apparently well meaning smugee ("Your time will come". "You're adopting what a great idea, we thought of that before we had our two naturally"), reminds me of not only my singleton status, but the reality that I may be one of the 30 percent of graduate thirtysomething women, who will never conceive naturally, or have a successful long-term relationship.
Coming home to an empty house at the best of times is incredibly quiet and very boring, but some days it's just downright lonely. There I said it, lonely doesn't mean you want to kill yourself, it just means that sometimes it would be great to have someone to come home to.
It's no secret the reason I work the long hours that I do, first, because I get a buzz out of it and I like to challenge myself; but also because I know that even before I put the key in the lock , there would be nothing or no one on the other side of it - an animal addition to my household is now immitent - it's a toss up between a goldfish or a rabbit (oops forgot, got one of those already!).
On my answer phone was a weekly check-in from my Mum whose answer to any kind of emotional crisis of any level is "to pray" and one of my acquaintances who wants to 'catch up', while her other half is out of town on business. Yep, I am one popular lady today.
On a bad day, this could lead to a mild bout of melancholy (sugar rush, followed by some really dodgy easy listening music) but today I dealt with it optimistically. What's to say that just like my degree (which I still have no idea how I managed to pass), that things won't turn out well....fingers crossed and where did I put that lucky heather again !
Coming home to an empty house at the best of times is incredibly quiet and very boring, but some days it's just downright lonely. There I said it, lonely doesn't mean you want to kill yourself, it just means that sometimes it would be great to have someone to come home to.
It's no secret the reason I work the long hours that I do, first, because I get a buzz out of it and I like to challenge myself; but also because I know that even before I put the key in the lock , there would be nothing or no one on the other side of it - an animal addition to my household is now immitent - it's a toss up between a goldfish or a rabbit (oops forgot, got one of those already!).
On my answer phone was a weekly check-in from my Mum whose answer to any kind of emotional crisis of any level is "to pray" and one of my acquaintances who wants to 'catch up', while her other half is out of town on business. Yep, I am one popular lady today.
On a bad day, this could lead to a mild bout of melancholy (sugar rush, followed by some really dodgy easy listening music) but today I dealt with it optimistically. What's to say that just like my degree (which I still have no idea how I managed to pass), that things won't turn out well....fingers crossed and where did I put that lucky heather again !
Thursday, 23 July 2009
....And Another Thing....
A celebration dinner with G, (at last after three years of working by day and studying at night and on the weekends, I have a 2:1 degree in Media and Business...yah me!), led to the inevitable subject of the Fool.
My main focus as G gave me my update, was taken up by the slow, savored demolition of my katsu chicken and rice bowl. A hungry diva is as dangerous, as a fashionista at a Jimmy Choo sale - the huntress zeros in on her prey, sharpens her claws (or chopsticks in this case) and then pounces. She takes no prisoners !
The arrival of chilli squid and duck dumplings served as a delicious distraction for me, as G talked and talked.
"I had to have a few harsh words with him B. He just doesn't understand how busy I am at the moment with work and stuff. Honestly, it's like going out with a fifteen year old schoolboy, not a grown man. I told him go to Manchester (the Fool has just been granted a bursary for his MBA) and make some friends and stop being so bloody controlling"
"But you know this all comes from you cheating G...I mean taking 'a break'. from him" ( I don't think I will ever grow tired of laughing 'we were on a break' line, it is such bollocks!).
"I know, but if he had any concept of a woman's personal space, he wouldn't have gone through my phone in the first place and found out I'd cheated on him". I nearly choked on my squid.
"So you're saying it's his own fault then?" - I snorted loudly. Near hysterical laughter followed from the both of us, loud enough to secure a few filthy looks from some other diners.
I couldn't resist pulling out my phone to show her the Fool's last text message to me "He's just trying to connect with you B" "Well he needs to stop"I said sharply. "If he thinks that telling me about how horrible you are, is a way of us bonding he needs to work a little harder on his trash talking. He is completely rubbish at it. No wit, no irony, no humour, what do you see in this guy?".
More laughter, food and drinks followed, culminating in one of those profound, but at the same time totally ridiculous statements your friends sometimes make. " I want him to be a well-educated, well-rounded person B. At the moment he's just raw material for a dominating, nit-picking woman.
"When's the wedding?" I said laughing.
My main focus as G gave me my update, was taken up by the slow, savored demolition of my katsu chicken and rice bowl. A hungry diva is as dangerous, as a fashionista at a Jimmy Choo sale - the huntress zeros in on her prey, sharpens her claws (or chopsticks in this case) and then pounces. She takes no prisoners !
The arrival of chilli squid and duck dumplings served as a delicious distraction for me, as G talked and talked.
"I had to have a few harsh words with him B. He just doesn't understand how busy I am at the moment with work and stuff. Honestly, it's like going out with a fifteen year old schoolboy, not a grown man. I told him go to Manchester (the Fool has just been granted a bursary for his MBA) and make some friends and stop being so bloody controlling"
"But you know this all comes from you cheating G...I mean taking 'a break'. from him" ( I don't think I will ever grow tired of laughing 'we were on a break' line, it is such bollocks!).
"I know, but if he had any concept of a woman's personal space, he wouldn't have gone through my phone in the first place and found out I'd cheated on him". I nearly choked on my squid.
"So you're saying it's his own fault then?" - I snorted loudly. Near hysterical laughter followed from the both of us, loud enough to secure a few filthy looks from some other diners.
I couldn't resist pulling out my phone to show her the Fool's last text message to me "He's just trying to connect with you B" "Well he needs to stop"I said sharply. "If he thinks that telling me about how horrible you are, is a way of us bonding he needs to work a little harder on his trash talking. He is completely rubbish at it. No wit, no irony, no humour, what do you see in this guy?".
More laughter, food and drinks followed, culminating in one of those profound, but at the same time totally ridiculous statements your friends sometimes make. " I want him to be a well-educated, well-rounded person B. At the moment he's just raw material for a dominating, nit-picking woman.
"When's the wedding?" I said laughing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)