It's not just me suffering the January Love Blues. I had dinner with Little Miss Matchmaker on Friday. Having caught up on all the work gossip, we got down to the inevitable guy talk.
Since we last caught up LMM has got rid of her hot French executive chef because of his cheating (yes, another one....Lord only knows why so many guys out there just can't keep it zipped! Is it some sort of 30/40 somethings male compulsion?)
Just like L, she caught her man out via his email account. He too had been cheating on her throughout the whole three years they were together.
He was so comfortable to doing it, he kept all his emails including the more explicit
"Guess what I am going to do to you next time!" ones, which of course she read.
Unlike L (who is yes still with the cheater, who is undergoing counselling), LMM got rid of him asap, but 2 months on, she is distrustful of all men and is generally despairing of finding a guy who doesn't feel compelled to cheat on her or just be a bit of a an idiot.
Her disenchantment deepened, when Mr Romantic (he chased her through a train station to introduce himself and give her his business card) who replaced the Frog Prince, broke the news to her over dinner, that he was "Sort of engaged!" , but added that she meant a lot to him and he wanted to be with her!
No mention was made of why MR hadn't told her about his engagement from the get go, or just how he was going to see his fiancee and LMM !
I continue to marvel at some men's capacity to sweeten bad news with a cheery after phrase. H was a master at that. Arrgh the tears I cried over that man ho hum !
"What is wrong with me? All of my relationships are rubbish? Just for a change instead of being Miss Independent I want someone to look after me and be able to keep his flies up. I want a baby this year. I'm so ready and yet nothing, not one stupid !", she wailed.
My vast experience of dating disappointment has tempered my men expectations and made me totally realistic about the reality of anticipating exclusivity and fidelity from your man.
I want this double whammy of relationship goodness. We all want it really, but wanting it and actually getting it can be a little tricky !
While it was and is my ideal, I couldn't really blame LMM for her love hangover frustration. She is a total knockout, has a killer body, is so well groomed she looks like she has just stepped off a magazine shoot, is intelligent and solvent and isn't doing much better than I am! What gives ?
I could have joined the "I hate men" pity party, but in keeping with my 2011 mantra of positivity I replied.
"It will happen. Trust me you are far too wonderful to be alone for long!".
I know in my case, I've heard the same line many, many times from family and friends and while I have a world weary belief, that I still might luck out and find someone.
As for LMM I am absolutely sure that if she stops 'fishing out the Frog' in every man pond she dips her heart into, the real McCoy will eventually surface to the top and turn out to be the Prince she's looking for.
A did. She finally went out with the rugby playing fireman she had to cry off sick on last week. Guess what they really, really hit it off. Date no 2 is tomorrow !!!
He's polite, easy on the eye, upfront, tall and actually said he wants a relationship on their first date. Truly he is a prince among eligible men !
She can't stop smiling and I couldn't be happier for her as she is such a sweetheart and has been out with more jackarses than I've had hot dinners.
Who knows maybe her good fortune will rub off !!
Monday, 31 January 2011
Thursday, 27 January 2011
Fun All Round
Yesterday I treated myself to a facial and massage, which turned out to be infinitely more enjoyable than being on a nerve wrecking first date.
My massage broke up a super busy day, which hit rock bottom when the attendance for a training session I was running collapsed.
First with technical difficulties connecting with the overseas office and then from one those all to familiar client emergencies. By the time I got home I was frustrated and totally knackered.
I have of course, heard nothing more from GU and have simply chalked him up to another multi-dater, who got 'lucky' elsewhere. Fair play to him.
Today has been good and bad. I am gutted by the news that MF is leaving us for a fabulous opportunity the other side of London at a small agency. I am going miss my favourite Kiwi. Not only is he smart, funny and wise, he really does have a big heart.
When I was sick recently, he practically carried me to my cab and he really appreciated my congratulations card for his 'secret wedding'.He's like the big brother I've always wanted and I am totally going to miss his witty asides and calming presence.
I had just about recovered from this shock, when I heard about MT was going to be in the office. His visits to the office are now so rare, I am thinking of filing sightings of him under 'the endangered eye candy' file.
I know he is completely unobtainable, but it doesn't mean to say that a Diva can't spare a few minutes to stop and stare! We said hi and bye and yes, that was more than enough for me. Look but don't touch - we all have an MT in our lives!
My planned girlie night out, went tits up when D had to work and V texted to say she was sick. Fortunately, it was A's leaving do tonight, so I went to that instead. I laughed until my sides ached and came home still smiling.
My massage broke up a super busy day, which hit rock bottom when the attendance for a training session I was running collapsed.
First with technical difficulties connecting with the overseas office and then from one those all to familiar client emergencies. By the time I got home I was frustrated and totally knackered.
I have of course, heard nothing more from GU and have simply chalked him up to another multi-dater, who got 'lucky' elsewhere. Fair play to him.
Today has been good and bad. I am gutted by the news that MF is leaving us for a fabulous opportunity the other side of London at a small agency. I am going miss my favourite Kiwi. Not only is he smart, funny and wise, he really does have a big heart.
When I was sick recently, he practically carried me to my cab and he really appreciated my congratulations card for his 'secret wedding'.He's like the big brother I've always wanted and I am totally going to miss his witty asides and calming presence.
I had just about recovered from this shock, when I heard about MT was going to be in the office. His visits to the office are now so rare, I am thinking of filing sightings of him under 'the endangered eye candy' file.
I know he is completely unobtainable, but it doesn't mean to say that a Diva can't spare a few minutes to stop and stare! We said hi and bye and yes, that was more than enough for me. Look but don't touch - we all have an MT in our lives!
My planned girlie night out, went tits up when D had to work and V texted to say she was sick. Fortunately, it was A's leaving do tonight, so I went to that instead. I laughed until my sides ached and came home still smiling.
Monday, 24 January 2011
Looks Like I'm Free On Wednesday !
Well its lucky I wasn't exactly doing cartwheels about my date on Wednesday, because yes, you've guessed it, he's cancelled !!
We 'spoke' on Friday for a while, just general banter about our week was and what we were up to at the weekend. During the back and forth he mentioned he was suffering from a bout of 'man flu'.
"Hey, yes I've got flu I think it's more than just man flu. Not sure if this week is going to be good for me. I can hardly leave the house. Let aim for next week.
xxx"
Dedicated readers of my blog, know that I have experienced the phenomena that is
'man flu' on numerous occasions throughout my dating efforts, most notably with the Bolter (remember that twat?).
The ability of some guys to pull out the old 'man flu' excuse at will, remains one of life's great fallbacks for the dating man that changes his mind about his potential date.
The funny thing is, that the men in question always believe that we will think that they are genuinely sick.
In fact, guys have used this excuse so often, that it has moved from the plausible, to the folklore of dating excuses, which are guaranteed to make ladies disbelieve and be annoyed at the same time.
In my case because my dating expectations are low and therefore real, I didn't get fired up. I replied - not cold, not dismissive, just chilled and guarded.
"Sorry to hear that, hope you get well soon. Look forward to hearing from you"
I noticed of course, that he was online, at the very same time as I was posting my message to him.
Poor GU, unable to leave the house, full of man flu, but still able to sit online talking to other women,while declaring himself to be....
"A genuine, honest guy, who is most definitely not a player".
Arr the irony of GU's words. Perhaps now is a good time for me to help him and his kind out with a few equally unplausible excuses for men that bail; just so they have a few more to choose from.
1) My plane was delayed, so I'm not going to be able to make it.
2) I was babysitting my next door neighbours' cat.
3) I had to pick my grandma up from the supermarket.
4) I hurt myself when I was doing my army training last night.
On the plus side (because there is always one, even if it doesn't feel like it) at least GU had the decency to tell me well before Wednesday, so I could make alternative plans.
Thanks G.
We 'spoke' on Friday for a while, just general banter about our week was and what we were up to at the weekend. During the back and forth he mentioned he was suffering from a bout of 'man flu'.
"Hey, yes I've got flu I think it's more than just man flu. Not sure if this week is going to be good for me. I can hardly leave the house. Let aim for next week.
xxx"
Dedicated readers of my blog, know that I have experienced the phenomena that is
'man flu' on numerous occasions throughout my dating efforts, most notably with the Bolter (remember that twat?).
The ability of some guys to pull out the old 'man flu' excuse at will, remains one of life's great fallbacks for the dating man that changes his mind about his potential date.
The funny thing is, that the men in question always believe that we will think that they are genuinely sick.
In fact, guys have used this excuse so often, that it has moved from the plausible, to the folklore of dating excuses, which are guaranteed to make ladies disbelieve and be annoyed at the same time.
In my case because my dating expectations are low and therefore real, I didn't get fired up. I replied - not cold, not dismissive, just chilled and guarded.
"Sorry to hear that, hope you get well soon. Look forward to hearing from you"
I noticed of course, that he was online, at the very same time as I was posting my message to him.
Poor GU, unable to leave the house, full of man flu, but still able to sit online talking to other women,while declaring himself to be....
"A genuine, honest guy, who is most definitely not a player".
Arr the irony of GU's words. Perhaps now is a good time for me to help him and his kind out with a few equally unplausible excuses for men that bail; just so they have a few more to choose from.
1) My plane was delayed, so I'm not going to be able to make it.
2) I was babysitting my next door neighbours' cat.
3) I had to pick my grandma up from the supermarket.
4) I hurt myself when I was doing my army training last night.
On the plus side (because there is always one, even if it doesn't feel like it) at least GU had the decency to tell me well before Wednesday, so I could make alternative plans.
Thanks G.
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
Legally BB
As we know, some bloggers are frustrated performers or oversharers, well I know I am. This opinion was sealed by an invitation from A this week.
"Hi BB do you want to come and see Legally Blonde with some gays on Tuesday?". .
I could barely contain my excitement.
When I was about 16, I decided I wanted to become an actor.
After some Grade A parent pestering, including a hard core week of BB sad eyes, my Dad dutifully sent me off the Weekend Arts College (WAC) in Camden to train.
I was smitten from the day I walked through those doors. I was surrounded by a group of people who like me thought 'showing off 'was one of the the very best ways to spend your days.
The idea that with a little bit of training, I might if I was lucky, actually earn a living from it was was a chance I was totally willing to take.
Fate of course intervened, when miraculously I exceeded my predicted grades and passed my GCSE's.
That was when my Dad put his foot down and WAC was replaced with harsh talks about the real world of work and the unlikelihood of me as a black actor, being able to earn enough to feed a pigeon,let alone myself.
I let my dream go, but something stirred in me as I watched the dancers and the chorus do their thing...arr what might have been !
Back in the real world, I have a confirmed date for next week with GU.
My one and only resolution was to keep it real on the dating front, so instead of getting all worked up about whether a) he can be bothered to show up and b)is he a good guy, I have entered the dating chill zone.
How long I last in this sensible grown-up zone is debateable.
"Hi BB do you want to come and see Legally Blonde with some gays on Tuesday?". .
I could barely contain my excitement.
When I was about 16, I decided I wanted to become an actor.
After some Grade A parent pestering, including a hard core week of BB sad eyes, my Dad dutifully sent me off the Weekend Arts College (WAC) in Camden to train.
I was smitten from the day I walked through those doors. I was surrounded by a group of people who like me thought 'showing off 'was one of the the very best ways to spend your days.
The idea that with a little bit of training, I might if I was lucky, actually earn a living from it was was a chance I was totally willing to take.
Fate of course intervened, when miraculously I exceeded my predicted grades and passed my GCSE's.
That was when my Dad put his foot down and WAC was replaced with harsh talks about the real world of work and the unlikelihood of me as a black actor, being able to earn enough to feed a pigeon,let alone myself.
I let my dream go, but something stirred in me as I watched the dancers and the chorus do their thing...arr what might have been !
Back in the real world, I have a confirmed date for next week with GU.
My one and only resolution was to keep it real on the dating front, so instead of getting all worked up about whether a) he can be bothered to show up and b)is he a good guy, I have entered the dating chill zone.
How long I last in this sensible grown-up zone is debateable.
Monday, 17 January 2011
Back In The Swing!
Now that i'm full of beans again, I've been haring around like a mad woman trying to catch up with herself.
At the weekend I blitzed the house even harder than usual. I was feeling so domestic, I even whipped up a batch of my favourite chocolate brownies - I know, BB in a baking frenzy.
My lust for food, or rather making up for what I've been missing out on recently, led me to having dinner with C, at super sexy restaurant round the corner from BB Towers.
C's new job is going well. She's learnt a hell of a lot from her last few jobs and of course I'm very proud of her for putting into practice some essential career top tips.
First don't get the hots for one of your team (she hasn't spoken directly to Mr Moonlighting since she left. He is apparently regretting not handling things better! Now there's a surprise!) and second, that a little bit of distance between you and your colleagues isn't such a bad thing!
There's nothing wrong with being a mysterious girl once in a while !
At the weekend I blitzed the house even harder than usual. I was feeling so domestic, I even whipped up a batch of my favourite chocolate brownies - I know, BB in a baking frenzy.
My lust for food, or rather making up for what I've been missing out on recently, led me to having dinner with C, at super sexy restaurant round the corner from BB Towers.
C's new job is going well. She's learnt a hell of a lot from her last few jobs and of course I'm very proud of her for putting into practice some essential career top tips.
First don't get the hots for one of your team (she hasn't spoken directly to Mr Moonlighting since she left. He is apparently regretting not handling things better! Now there's a surprise!) and second, that a little bit of distance between you and your colleagues isn't such a bad thing!
There's nothing wrong with being a mysterious girl once in a while !
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