Saturday, 12 April 2014

Be Careful What You Wish For, Because You Just Might Get It !

So I'm just going put it out there - after hearing about this much vaulted 'friends with benefits gig', it's definitely not for me. Especially after swapping tales with the girls, over several glasses of wine this evening.  
There were varying points of view around the sofa, but my favourite came from J. Her much younger booty call texted her to say, she's off his bedtime menu at the moment, because he's just started seeing someone.
This is the same booty call who spent the best part of 40 mins on one of their earliest non-dates saying he didn't want a relationship, because of work, his ambitions, his life and pretty much every reason, ever expressed by any man who's ever wanted a booty call without any commitment or comeback.
Being older and infinitely more chilled out, she of course laughed her socks off, at such a heavy moment so early on, and told all of us about it. When she got the thanks but no thanks text, as she'd had her suspicions for awhile that he'd started seeing someone, due to the infrequency of the booty calls, she took it in her stride.

But for whatever reason she actually thought, he would extend her the courtesy of  a text or call her sooner, rather than later to say so, instead descending into the cowardly lion world, of ignoring her text messages.
She asked my advice and I was suitably candid with her.
First be nice - you got what you asked for - no strings, no drama booty calls.
Next - don't take it personally because after all, he had been upfront about what 'it' was from the get go. 

Always reply to the initial 'I'm seeing someone' text message, with general pleasantry such as a 'how's work' and remember to end things on a 'take care' - a quiet way of saying this chapter has ended in a civil way and you wish him or her well. Should you ever bump into them, you can happily say hi, without any 'Made in Chelsea awkwardness.
And finally, learn the lesson no strings, means that on emotional level as well. Don't think for a moment that you're actually 'friends', you're mere acquaintances, which means you should expect absolutely nothing from the other party.
Arr the delights, perils and mysteries of modern non-dating.

No comments: