Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Snow Angels, Dating Don'ts and The Longest Journey Home

I'll admit I'm just like a kid around snow. When I awoke this morning to find my garden and the streets surrounding my house, covered in a blanket of white, I couldn't wait to pull on some clothes and make snow angels.

Once I'd finished messing about, I set off to meet GD for lunch. GD was on top form. His new job is going great, he's lost weight and he was full of mischief. He spilled the beans on his latest dates and made me laugh.

Just like C (the female half of my 'Moonlighting' couple, and no, there is still no new update from my favourite almost lovebirds), he shook hands with one of his dates.

Forgive me but since when has shaking hands with anyone you fancy led to romance? Talk about passion killer! Nothing lays your intentions like a continental two cheek kiss! Remember that when you are out and about at your Christmas parties !

I thought my journey home would be quick despite the snow, but oh no.

I got to Victoria Station in time to find out that the rail network had ground to a halt because of the snow. One hour later we were told there would be no trains until further notice.

I caught the Tube to Wimbledon and then managed to slither my way onto the tram. When we got to my tram stop, there were no buses, so I walked home. My entire journey took 3hours 45 minutes.

I love London with a passion, but it still amazes me how a little bit of snow, can cause such havoc with our transport system.

Monday, 29 November 2010


So after this weekend, my man hunt attributes have to include DIY multi-skills. Yes,I know this has always been on my man must-haves list, but with good reason. In that time honoured tradition of things that go wrong when you really need them to work, my boiler packed up.

It actually packed up two weeks ago, but I had to wait for T (my lovely grumpy old Polish builder)to find time in his busy schedule (I have given his name to everyone I know after the magic he weaved at BB Towers!) to diagnose the problem.

"BB, immersion heater gone..you need buy new one. You get. I fix".

I spent half of my summer in B&Q, so it was like returning to a home from home hitting the aisles in search the missing link to restore my hot water supply.

P showed me where they were and couldn't resist adding,

"Your fella should be able to fix that in no time, it's dead simple"

Argh if only he knew. Finding a good, single, man is hard work as we all know - finding one with DIY skills is close to impossible.

Mr S couldn't hang a picture, let alone put together a flat pack. M took pride in telling me all the things wrong with my house and despite actually being in the trade was completely useless at DIY.

In fact,thinking back over my ex love interests none of them had any DIY or other 'skills' (meow!).

It took T exactly 15 minutes to install the new heater and put a massive grin back on my face!

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Thanksgiving and Party Belles

First a massive Happy Thanksgiving to my US readers.

I am sending you lots of BB love from a freezing cold London. I wish you all a peaceful and Happy Thanksgiving with all your friends and family.

Here in London the temperature has dropped and at work I am surrounded by coughs, colds and more runny noses than you could shake a stick at.

Today I am bundled up in a jeans, thermal vest, t-shirt, cardigan, scarf (and this is just while I'm indoors!). Then of course there's my leather gloves, winter coat and new purple beret. Yep, it's blooming cold here.!

N came over to see if I had persuaded any eligible man under the age of 60 to accompany me to the Movember Gala tonight.

"No, it's a bit pants, but hey right at this moment I am hardly dressed for it!". I said laughing.

"What are you wearing for the Christmas party? " she asked.

Arr... the Christmas party that time honoured tradition of getting trolleyed with your workmates, drinking way too much (not me!) and then trying your best to get through the rest of the night without either snogging someone you shouldn't, telling your boss exactly what you really think of them or throwing up in front of ooh just anyone who happens to be passing by.

Then there's the morning after walk of shame. Not strictly reserved just for those who ended up going home with new 'friends', but also for those who just about made it into work in the morning.

This year's theme is Mad Men, which gives me the chance to release my inner Joan Harris (office manager at Sterling Cooper Draper Price - by the way if if you don't watch the show, you are soooo missing out!).

The theme is a godsend for me because it is all about your hourglass self being literally poured into delicious evening gowns.

Bring on the shopping !

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Dateless Sticky Moment 101

I asked N to come to the Movember party with me tomorrow, in the hope of mischief, entertainment and a lot of laughter in a room full of moustache adorned men. Unfortunately, she's off to a concert with her sister, but she did helpfully suggest I go to Movember party with I.

No amount of hissed "He's busy already ", from me, could stop her offering me up as a minus 1, in need of a plus. He was of course busy (with his girlfriend no doubt) ....as is just about every other fun man I know within a 50 mile radius.

Poor D was the next unwilling potential escort and though under pressure, managed to respond...."I'm doing something with a friend", while staring intently at his laptop.

Bless him! He is one of those guys who never actually talks directly to me, unless he wants something. The idea of connecting socially with me was clearly too much for him to stand, even with other company.

I officially hate midweek parties, where going with boy with a moustache is necessary......oh dear how wrong that sounds !

Meanwhile back in the real world. JO is loving being a mommy to be, but hating morning or actually for her - all day nausea!

N invited me to spend Christmas with her and the Christmas orphans (any lone Australians, South Africans or haters of Chrismas like me!)

The plan is to eat until we're sick, then watch chick flicks and really dodgy TV - I may just be a Christmas convert after all !

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Comings and Goings !

It's official JO is expecting - I'm so happy for her ! She is going to be such a great mom, not just because she's adorable, but because she has such a warm, loving way about her.

Her second bombshell which was a sad one for us, is that she is moving back to the States, due to a job opportunity for her husband. Great for them, rubbish for us as we are going to miss her.

S who always sees the best in everything, suggested to JO that she might want to

"...leave some of the clothes you won't be able to fit into anymore behind"

That's what I love about S, no matter how bad things are, she always finds a fashion positive!

Positive is exactly what I am trying to be about L's decision to stick by her cheating boyfriend, despite her friends best efforts.

Yes the very same charmer, who has cheated on her via the internet and in the real world too. That guy. Trust me I am holding back from what I actually want to call him.

As you know I'm a pretty fierce disapprover of cheating.....the only one who ever 'wins' if you can call it that, is the cheater. I've been on the end of it from both sides - as the cheated and the third wheel and all I can say is - welcome to Heartbreak High!

It's absolutely nothing to be proud of and something to be avoided at all costs. You either learn from it, or you bury your head in the sand and keep running on the 'love treadmill' that leads nowhere, with no one to blame but yourself.

Seeing one of your best friends first make the decision to stay with someone you know is absolutely wrong for them, and then watching them trying to work through and rationalise it, is tough.

I'll admit I've not talked to her in a few weeks, because I've had a few family dramas (yes, I don't tell you everything readers!) and I really don't understand her decision.

To be BB blunt, I know she is going to get hurt again, because the guy in question, would literally have to change his DA to be that 'one' guy she's looking for and deserves.

However, I do support L 100% as one of my best friends and because I know I can be beyond judgemental with that

"It is what it is!"

stubborn way I have sometimes,(I blame my Dad - I don't look like him much, but personality wise we are twins!), when we talked finally yesterday, I apologised for being a complete cow to her.

"I'm sorry I was harsh on you, but it is just because I don't understand why you don't value yourself as much as your family and friends do. You deserve better and from what I've seen of this smuck and how he's behaved, he isn't the guy. He doesn't matter, but you do, so I'm going back off about it. I'm just going to let you do your thing and I'll just zip it." I said.

I just about held it together (we've been friends since we were in school!) and I hate it when things are dodgy with us, which luckily is rare.

"Thank you for doing that and its because you are always so honest with me, and always put me first when it comes to this guy stuff and anything else that's going on with me in my life. I know its hard for you, but I have go with this. I know you hate it, but I have to try. I've got to see whether we can figure things out, but this time with what you and everyone has said to me, in the back of my head, not just rose tinted sunglasses." she replied.

"Well if they are this season's Gucci's, then maybe I'll let you off".

We both laughed and carried on catching up just like usual.

It was great to clear the air. I am really worried about her, but I can't save her on this one and maybe she just had to learn the hard way.

Whatever happens, I've got her back.

Monday, 22 November 2010

Foot and Mouth

I've always said that men are rubbish at keeping secrets, and even if they do manage to keep one, they tend to let the cat out of the bag at the most inappropriate moment.

Take the hapless intern who when asked by me where his boss (Jackie O aka JO) was replied

"She is off having her ultra sound!".

Cue "What!"from me.

"Are you sure you mean that?", from S, thinking he may have gotten confused with the language difference.

Realising his mistake from our surprised faces, he replied cheerily "Oh no, arrgh you didn't know. Oops!"

Saturday, 20 November 2010

The Coffee, The Make-up Counter and the Dress

It's fair to say that when C and I get together we aren't quiet. Our conversation is a mix of stories, loud laughter, large dollops of gossip and mischief galore!

Way too much it seems for the nerd who told me off in Pret Manager.

"I can barely hear myself speak, can you just tone it down and shut up!"

As C had been doing the most laughing and the nerd had directed his fury at me, I let him have it.

"I wasn't making any noise actually, so don't yell at me and you might want to think about your tone it's very rude!".

His friend nodded in agreement, looking at me sympathetically and tried to get him to shut up.

"I don't care who's fault it is, just shut up". He replied raising his voice further.

"If anyone needs to shut up it's you sour puss".

Before he could stammer a reply, we apologised to the elderly couple sat beside us, who said that we had been fine and left, not before I had shot the nerd a withering diva putdown look and swished my weave. He could just sod right off !

Next stop was the MAC counter, where C was served by an assistant who had trawled her foundation on so heavily, that you could see a tidemark on her top and the difference in colour between her face and neck.

Clearly, she missed the blending lesson at beauty school.

Having plastered a sample on C, I had to intervene to avoid foundation overload.

"She needs the foundation in light to mid coverage, with warm orange tones, not yellow as they make her look grey". I said helpfully.

She ignored me completely, proceeded to put on the yellow beige tone and looked pissed off, when C told her it was "Horrible". Job done!

We hit the shoes, were I found the most gorgeous aqua blue cross front sandals, with a zip in the back, which were of course in small feet size only!

C is a designer princess who thinks high street fashion should be avoided at all costs. She spends money like water and then wonders where its all gone!

For fun I lured her into H&M. As I pointed clothes out, she confessed that she'd just brought a Roberto Cavalli dress.

"You did what !" I said.

"It's an investment!" she sniffed before telling me that it cost one month's mortgage payment.

"You're not keeping it" I said firmly.

"I'll think about sending it back" She winked cheekily at me.

Friday, 19 November 2010

Happy Friday or Lucky Me !

Last night I met up with SW and had a great time. I used to work at SW and unlike those people who always say "we must keep in touch", he actually did.

He is one of those positive energy people that everyone should have in their lives. He's smart, wise, cute as a button and has the self depreciating humour of someone who is content with themselves and their lives.

Spending time with him was so easy and over four hours we caught up on our lives, people we know, obviously gossiped for England and laughed a lot. As I ran through some of my more notable social and romantic disasters this year, I realised just how lucky I am.

Aside from my family, I have to say I some truly awesome friends who keep me in check and offer me unstinting support, even when I am being a complete tool !

Regardless of my numerous romantic misadventures, bouts of diva frustration and anger at myself when I completely bulls up, I'm still standing.

There is joy in my life daily and although I'm not sharing it with Mr "Real Deal" right now, I am sharing it with people I love, value and respect,which makes me feel proud and rich every day; particularly coming to the end of a year which has been so tough.

"To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with"
(Anonoymous or the contents of my fortune cookie from Dim T last night!)

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Shocking Screensaver !

C came down to earth with a crashing thump today, following job triumph yesterday. Her Moonlighting squeeze, has apparently been squeezing someone else and is so enamoured with her, that she is his screen saver on his work laptop.

Her text message interrupted an otherwise mediocre day for me.

"Shit BB, I think B's got some bird's photograph as his screen saver ! OMG! Nooo!"

I had a quick OMG moment and of course laughed my head off - come it was funny!.

Honestly though are these two ever going to sort themselves out?

I read the message again, laughed and then picked up the phone to offer some morale support.

"You always send the best, perfectly timed funny messages ! Now first, calm down. You don't know what the score is with this other lady. I mean she could be his favour glamour model or maybe and actress he fancies. Have you noticed this screen saver before?"

"Arr.....no I don't think so" C replied. "I know what you're saying but my friend is a friend of his friend, and they're going out for a drink so she's going do some digging and find out what's going on. I need to know!".

"You sound like a total nutcase! As I said calm down and just wait and see what happens".

I could tell she was convinced or impressed by my advice...

"I've gotta go", she said closing the conversation.

"Don't worry about it", I almost finished saying before she put the phone down.

Oh dear !

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Red Letter Day !

You know those days where everything goes right, well I've just had one !

I had lunch with M....God I miss seeing him everyday. We caught up on everything and then M told me about his big news. He's going to be a Daddy again. He showed me the scan and I acted like a doting nanny goat!

After lunch, I hung out in my favourite place in London - The National Portrait Gallery. After checking out 'An Englishman in New York: Photographs by Jason Bell', I had afternoon tea in the Portrait Restaurant, before heading home.

I found a letter on my doormat from the taxman! Just what I need, I thought as ripped open the envelope and found a rebate cheque....hooray !

While I was checking through my emails I saw a message from N which made me laugh. N is South African, beautiful both inside(although she pretends she isn't!) and out (although she doesn't realise it!), funny as hell and just as smart.

She's been looking for a new place to rent for a while and guess what she's finally found somewhere. My phone bleeped with a message from C who's been waiting to hear whether she landed a 'mega change her life job' and yes you've guessed it - she got it!

Finally S texted to confirm dinner on Thursday, which is great because we always have a good time.

As I said it's been a great day!

Monday, 15 November 2010

BB's Day Off !

Unbelievably, I have the day off, well actually two days off.

It didn't stop me waking up at usual time, blitzing the living room and kitchen on a cleaning sweep and all of that before doing an hour's worth of yoga.

Then my day really got going. First a facial, then as (it is payday!),I paid some bills, brought my dress for the Christmas party and the sexiest pair of beyond fierce shoes.

These footie fireworks are hot, hot purple peeptoes with crocodile trim. With the right dress and a naughty man, this diva could get herself into world of trouble in those shoes ! I love them!

And I love having the day off, I'd almost forgotten what that was. Tomorrow I'm having lunch with M and I have to sort out my New York trip.

Somebody take me to the plane!

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Deja Vu and other stuff!

After my catch up with A, some cheeky twittering and a particularly gorgeous dinner, I was in the mood to chill out big time.

Until the X Factor results!

Damnit! The Weasel beat the chopping block again curtesy of the mighty Mr Cowell, who once again saved Katie the Weasel....what he won't do for ratings!

It ended up going to deadlock, where somehow the British public managed to vote for the Weasel over the 'beautiful boy' Aiden.

My sadness lasted only until 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!' started.

GM has "village idiot" tattoed on her. She's signed up for a show, based in the jungle having declared says she hates spiders and just about every other living thing.

Cue laughter and the public voting for her to do a challenge every day.

I give her two days !

Busted and Foraging !

I love the fact that my friends call me out, particularly when it comes to making me admit to things I'd rather not.

I met up with C in town to catch up and before you could say let's have another latte, she was on my case about I.

"I've read the blog and I'm telling you, you like him more than you're letting on!"

"I'm not saying yes or no", I said staring into my latte, hoping she'd change the subject.

"Which means you do. You always do this. It's all secret squirrel when you actually like someone. Totally off the radar. Why do you think I read your blog? You're so bloody laid-back and neutral, guys get that tomboy friendly vibe from you, instead of fancying you, they put you in the friends zone which is why he told you about the other girl!"

"You mean his new mega gorgeous girlfriend, who he's besotted with", I said helpfully.

"Yes, but you don't even know that for sure. He could just be foraging!"

"Foraging !"I snorted, spluttering out some of my latte and then laughing hard.

"You know exactly what I mean missus. Break-up bootycall ! We've all done it. Just tell him. Break the habit of a life time and tell him !"

"....and make a complete prat of myself, no thank you! Nothing to tell cherub, he's just not into me, he's very, very happy elsewhere and that's fair enough!"

"Coward!" C chimed.

"Maybe but at least he has absolutely no idea and won't look at me like I'm some sort of sad looney tune! They're loved up and that's that."

I was still thinking about what she said when I got home.

10mins later she texted me.

"You're right of course! By the way I hate it when you're right. I just want you to be happy. You are right not to waste your time on a non-starter. Life's too short. When a guy really likes you, he'll go out of his way to make sure you know about it and you my dear are most definitely worth it!! Keep fishing! -x- "

Friday, 12 November 2010

So Long LoLo !

I should be saying Happy Friday...but I just can't do it....as today is LL's last day sob.....!

She has spent most of the morning wondering why she drank so much last night and whether her brain can continue to function to the end of the day.

She has also tried to remember blurred conversations that happened last night...the most notable being N's tale of her best friend who was killed by a Great White Shark...random leaving drinks subject matter but hey ho !

Finally, she has also given me that department leavers scarce, of asking me, whether she needed to tell IT that she sort of tipped water on her laptop.....how she managed this I am still trying to figure out !

Right now, thankfully she is having a pizza lunch. Hopefully, it will soak up some of the alcohol, line her stomach and make up for last night's dinner of peanuts and crisps, provided by N.

As LL has the constitution of an industrial waste compressor, I have no doubt she will stagger through to the end of the day, before taking off into the night to meet up with yet more friends for more mischief in of all places.....Swindon !

Bye Bye LL.

Missing you already !


Thursday, 11 November 2010

Rant Over and Looking Back !

It's ok, I've stopping ranting now !

So onto the good stuff.

First, and this is me getting a little drippy here - thanks for continuing to read my ramblings.

It is pretty amazing looking back on some of my entries from last year and the beginning on this year and seeing the growth in me both as a person and thankfully in my writing style.....!

If you like what I've been doing remember to pass on the word about your favourite diva's blog to your friends and family. I think I've been stuck on 24 followers for about six months...lets's push those numbers up!

I love hearing from you all (the good stuff and your tellings off when you think I am being a pain....it is all truly grounding!) and would love to connect to other people as well.

Now all about A...it was great to see him yesterday. It took me back to all those latte moments as we sat down to lunch together. When I look back at my time with my old company I do it with joy now.

Aside from all the mess with HWMBO, I met and worked with some incredible people and of course got to work with M again!

Sorry for leaving you behind M, but you know I still love you!

A was definitely one of my high points and continues to be a truly amazing friend who I love dearly. He made me laugh like a drain and it was so damn good to see him again. The only downside is that he still doesn't know whether he got the mega job, he recently interviewed for.

A, I have every single body part crossed for you ! If I can spin crap (HWMBO) into gold (my present life), then for you babe for it should be a breeze !!

Big Love


In Remembrance

I'm sorry but I need to rant about today's two minute silence. The lack of respect by some associates regarding taking two minutes out of their precious liberty-laced, free days was incredibly disappointing.

First, there was a bungled tannoy message so low that not everyone heard it. Joined up thinking would have suggested that an email reminding everyone that the silence was imminent might have been a sensible idea, but no.

Then came the a new recruit who decided it was the perfect time to break the silence with her laptop log on tune.

Even S who I expected much better from, managed to distinguish himself by talking on the phone through the duration of the two minute silence, pausing briefly only to tell the caller on the line,

"I'm in the middle of a two minute silence here! "

Crass at the very least - it was two bloody minutes! Why he couldn't have just said I'll call you back. Hardly rocket science big guy! I was so annoyed I told him off afterwards.

Totally disrespectful from all concerned.

In these troubled times, as our troops continue fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq, and thousands of others who have gone before them in WW1 and WWII; they all deserve and should be remembered by us, the ones that stay at home.

We should not forget that their sacrifice has preserved our liberty, freedom of speech and self determination, free from censorship and dictatorship.

Our remembrance of those who have fought and are fighting for us should be regarded as a fundamental to our lives, not an incremental extra to be fitted in around phone calls, emails and the small stuff we waste our lives sweating on!

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

What Women Want !

In the course of dating what seems like half of London (well that's includes all of my dates who couldn't be bothered to show up!), it has become apparent that women's expectations of dating are on a whole different level compared to some men.

I checked my dating inbox, first up was Mr Dad ( not an issue for me, most of the guys I'm looking at will already have kids, be divorced or just have baggage), 50 (big issue - way, way too old for a firecracker like moi !) , from Crawley (I'll let that slide!), had sent me 3 emails.

The first entitled 'Your bum' - took me by surprise, as he ran through the A-Z of all the good points of my profile picture (it is just a head and shoulders shot!) and then added that we'd be perfect together !

Looking at his profile album (15 pictures of him in various gurning poses!), I beg to differ !

Email two from Mr D, suggested that I could contact him via his three personal emails and his mobile number which he helpfully provided so it was 'convenient for me'!. Email three was Mr D's compatibility quiz. Surprisingly enough I didn't respond the trio of correspondence from Mr D.

I shifted through some other possibles. Included was a response from one of those faceless profiles that lazy men love so much online. By lazy I mean the men that can't be bothered to fill in their profiles past the most basic profile information.

To me a man who actually states that he couldn't upload a picture, instantly hits my radar as being non-technical and someone to be treated with caution. Despite me explicitly stating on my profile - 'no picture, no response'- faceless men keep tracking, winking at and sending me emails. Why ? Why waste their time and mine?

Regardless of what dating men think, a faceless profile is always greeted by women with suspicion for the following reasons:

1) You are probably married or involved.

2) You have probably been caught out internet dating on the sly before, while married or single.

3) You are not immediately pleasing to the eye - remember beauty or handsomeness is in the eye of the beholder - for goodness sake, give us ladies the opportunity to at least judge for ourselves fairs fair !

4) You are afraid someone you might know, might spot you online.

5) You have something to hide, not sure what.....but it's definitely shady.

"Liked your profile, would like to meet you" said Mr Forward.

I responded " No picture, no interest sorry.... not fair that you have the advantage of seeing me"

Mr F : "I like to keep you ladies in suspense and when I tell you that I'm looking for passionate xxx, you all seem to do a runner"

" ...and that is precisely where you are going wrong and why you remain single. It's all about those first impressions. I'm sure Ms Right is out there somewhere. Good luck with you search", I replied.

"There is no such thing as Ms or Mr Right, I wish you women would just get over all this false advertising and just be up for having some fun !!!!" ranted Mr F.

"You seem so angry "I replied. "I suggest you either lower your potential partner age range or why not pay for some fun. It might be easier and should help you with your anger issues".

He didn't reply.....!

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Latte Angels and Au Revoir !

OMG !! The Latte Angels have answered my prayers and.....guess what?

A will be making a guest appearance at my work tomorrow ! Hooray !! Yes, A is coming to my workplace, for a conference we are hosting ....JOOY!!!

Oh the fun and mischief we will have (well at lunch time anyway!). I can't wait to see him. His arrival should hopefully distract me from the fact that LL is leaving this Friday.

What can I say about LL - meeting her was liking finding my slightly nuttier twin !

She's super clever and crazy silly. She owns probably the fiercest wardrobe and shoe collection ever and my goodness she has make my work life a blast.

We started at the company round about the same time and bounded over inefficient systems (she didn't get paid for two months, and I managed to get paid for four days).

Over the following months, I got to know and like her tons - she's like this force of nature that should have a hurricane rating all of her own !

No matter how rubbish things are, she just deals with them - sure there's been the odd weeping willow moment every now and then (but hell we've all had those) and when I first arrived here I missed A and M so much, she was the one person who understood me the way they did.

Now she's buggering off.

1) To escape the boss from hell (a nit-picking HWMBO clone!)

2) because life is short and dog sledging in Finland and spending Christmas in Paris sure beats working!

Foot and Mouth moment of the day goes to Ms Thang who managed to tell size 8 J, that she had put on weight since she joined the company.

Cue gasps from the rest of us and a flicked ear (me flicking hers, she deserved it, she was totally ruuddde!) for being so ruthlessly frank about J, who has the kind of figure most women would kill for; even if they owned it for just a few hours!

Her F & M moment continued when she reminded Mr Mom how old he was, by saying his hearing isn't the greatest. R let Ms Thang have it.

"Maybe we need to contact the embassy to get them to revoke your visa. There are three things we ladies don't talk about in this country, weight, age and money. Time for you to Sssh now !"

Monday, 8 November 2010

Rainy Monday

There's something about a rainy Monday morning that makes you wonder first, why you have to go to work and second, makes you people watch a little more intently than usual to distract yourself from the crap weather.

In the latte queue (which still remains not half as much as fun since my days of mischief with A!), I overhead typically cute, but attached studmuffin BD talk bout his equally super cute daughter and her swimming lessons.

"She's fearless for a little bit, then she realises she might sink and starts calling to me in case she goes under, but she's doing really well" .

As I put the lid on my hazelnut, caramel latte ( my little piece of morning heaven!), I learnt that S and J are on a break, something which judging from the whiny recollection of he says, she says, from S, J is probably hugely relieved about.

When I finally managed to log onto my laptop ( how does it know to die on Monday first thing?), my day instantly brightened with a message in my inbox from Big D. He is finally, finally back in the land of the mortgage slave and is already missing the freedom of being an adult gap year traveller.

Goodness knows who his latest conquest (s) is/are but no doubt I'll hear all the gory details. It would be nice to think of him 'behaving' for a change, but I don't think he is quite ready to stop being a bow wow just yet !

While Big D continues to do what he does best, Mr Invisible, who I thought I'd finally shaken off, has remerged like a sleepwalking zombie, who can smell its next prey.

I swear among life's many weird moments, one of the biggest ones is why,when you don't like someone, they pursue you regardless. Of course I've done it myself. Haven't we all?

Sunday, 7 November 2010

X-Factor, Love or Hate It !

Ok you should never ever try and call me when the X Factor is on.

Ok I'll admit it is my destination tv spot. I don't bother with tv that much during the week, but come Saturday night, there I am like some crazed armchair critic, marking the contestants like some over eager Simon Cowell clone; and I'm just as bad on the Sunday results show.

Right now I'm mad as hell that Treyc - the little woman with 'the big voice', has just been voted off, instead of the devil child Katie, who sings like a strangled foghorn.

This annoying, latern-jawed, media whore, who actually gave up singing halfway through and resorted to sitting on the stage, begging to be saved by the judges, which they duly did.

The lame arse excuse given to vote off Treyc was that she was someone who the public didn't want to see. Completely untrue because I wanted to continue to watch her, along with all the other people who've been voting for her!

For such an apparently unpopular act, her departure has certainly got people's backs up. Twitter is all a flutter !

Friday, 5 November 2010

Put Them Away Ms Universe !

What makes a woman regularly described as 'stunning', turn up to work dressed in a low cut playsuit in November, drawing extra attention to herself, which have been in equal measures admiring and disapproving.

There is a huge difference in the perception of a woman's dress by the sexes, whereas most of the men in the office, who usually suffer stalk eye syndrome were delighted; LL described me as 'being a prude', when I said that Ms Universe's outfit was
' inappropriate for work'.

LL is one of those ladies who has a unique style and sense of fashion and consequently always looks amazing however, she has never, ever felt the need to put her non-too shabby assets out on display, she lets her work and business acumen do the talking.

Could it be that either MU is an attention seeker, or is she just trying to keep a certain someone dangling, until she is ready to dally with him again !

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Just One Of Those Days

You can rely on London Transport to strike just for the hell of it, as happened today and you can rely on me to tell someone like it is, when they totally annoy me.

Mr Mom has the truly irritating and demeaning habit of calling his direct colleagues (who are female, infinitely brighter, funnier and more attractive then him!) 'the girls', like they are some dolly birds or dimwits who can't think for themselves.

He tends to do it most often in front of anyone of consequence or authority, as if presenting them to the world as his minions, who are indirectly responsible to him.

Yesterday I pulled him on it, face to face (because he definitely needed to hear it) and it took every vestige of self control not to deck him, when he tried to dismiss my complaints as me "being rude" to him - how ironic from an unashamed insecure, whingy, male chauvinist.

Consequently today, to avoid seeing his smug cabbage doll face, I took myself off to sit elsewhere.

I powered my way through a stack of work - some people eat, drink or smoke more when they're pissed off, I work until my head hurts.

Monday, 1 November 2010

Love Is In The Air !

It seems the quest for love is not just restricted to the young in my family. My ever so proper mum has bagged herself an admirer.

A chance meeting with a very charming Dutch man has left her somewhat flustered and knowing I am such an expert in affairs of the heart, she called me to ask for advice.

He attempted a swift almost first date peck on the lips and she side swiped him with a cheek to cheek. Too cold? she mused.

I tried to reassure her.

" You did entirely the right thing re: the kiss. You don't know him from Adam and if this were a first date proper, you probably wouldn't kiss him, it is not in your nature to be that forward. Also you are a bit rusty on the old dating front".

It's amazing how easy it is giving love advice out. Sometimes I surprise myself by taking my own.

Remember my Halloween buddy? It turns out my being knackered and then not letting my imagination run wild for once, was a super smart move on my part. Maybe even I sign that I might be on the right side of date smart.

After agreeing with me that dating or sleeping with 'randoms' was so retro and the reserve of very silly men indeed, He mentioned a particular girl pal who he thought had a crush on him, who had just split with her boyfriend....

You can guess the rest.....

"Everyone had a good time!" he smirked, with the glee of a man who had just got his groove on, after playing the waiting game. They are now a very loved up item.

Many moons ago, I might have wasted a moment or too trying to figure out why I didn't end up with someone like him. Why I wasn't good or hot enough. Why once again has some other chick turned out to be totally drop dead and compared to me, the exact just what he was waiting for it.

After all we're the same age, both got quite a lot of stuff in common right? The same type of humour etc and if I do say so myself, on paper we would probaly be one of those annoyingly chilled couples, that can't be bothered to fight and just likes hanging out together and with friends.

Not anymore. You can't knock a guy for not fancying you. Goodness knows I've had enough experience ! Much of it my own fault, pursuing lost causes and unavailables.

For those of you who are still pursuing the guy whose not interested, once again i have to say, it's just one of those things and hating him is a waste of time. Really you should have stopped doing that when you were in college - Just directed at those of you who still do that!

When the right hottie shows up, he will be exactly who his window dressing says he is and be 100% interested in you.

If he can cook and DIY, then it's diva bonus points all round; and as we all know these are the very best kind to win!