Happy New Year !

First I want to wish you all a very, very Happy New Year !

I am beyond elated to see the back of 2011. It's been a rocky year full of family health problems, work anxieties, friends coming and going and all the general life stuff that you'd probably prefer would go just a little more smoothly.

So what have I learnt from all of this. It's simple. It's not about the situation or problem, it's all about the way you deal with it. Sounds simple right, but just think about all that unnecessary stress and strain you have unwittingly put yourself through this year.

That's right you, because everything that happens, happened for a reason and you played your part in how things turned out.

So what's my New Year's resolution? To worry less, to trust myself and my instincts more and to not live in fear of the unknown or judgement from others.

Here's to an amazing 2012 !

Back to Earth With A Thud !

The first day back at work always reminds me of the first day back at school. You know it's coming but you keep hoping something will stop it from coming round quite so soon.

My current gig is too painful for words to explain, but what I would say horrifies me most about it is the finance reporting. Whereas words and pictures excite and inspire me, figures make me want to lie down and take a long nap.

No such luck !

Boxing Day Dreams

Today for the first time in months, I didn't wake up to the sound of a fan heater, the hall light flashing into my bedroom or H's morning smokers' cough and it was... bliss !

My solo Christmas dream (which of course hasn't happened) came true today, even if it was for just one day.

I padded downstairs, had a cup of tea, made breakfast, lounged in a long bath and settled down to watch yet more holiday movies, wrote some more next steps lists, talked on the phone and generally chilled out.

Unbelievably my gym was open so I rocked up for a hot yoga class. There were just two of us there.

How long the new virtuous moi will last is anybody's guess :0)

Winding Up !

While everyone's been winding down for Christmas, I've been winding up by landing two freelance gigs for February which were confirmed yesterday.

I have my fingers crossed they both turn into retained contracts, because my current gig is as boring as the hours are long. I swear I can literally feel ideas and thought cells evacuating my brain, through from lack of stimulation and anything resembling creativity.

On the homefront, I've already already received two responses to the ads I have placed for J's room in two great new websites friends have recommended.

I thought it was smart to try some new ones to get the person I want. All I have to do is firm up viewing times with them after Christmas. And even better, S shows up on the 6th to stay, while she looks for a new place to buy.

Having learnt from my last dodgy tenant advertisement, I have specified exactly what I wanted to the letter...

"Must be a non-smoker, no pets, energy conscious, lively and outgoing and a graduate in girl code"

and well...you can guess the rest :0)

Thankfully, I finished my Christmas shopping just in time for the dropping off to the family today in typical BB style.

My Mind's Made Up!

...All I need to do is execute my decision and the BB gravy train is about to come screeching to a halt ! The first thing I'm rediscovering is my ..... - (yes my friends, you know what I am talking about!)

..bad arse attitude !

I told F today, who I've found out has been putting the hard word on one of my really good friends (I can't go into details but it was very, very unpleasant and has completely changed my opinion of him!.

I had no option, having 'sat' on my anger for last week, but to confront him and tell him exactly what I thought of him and his actions.

Sadly he didn't take it well and as of tonight, we are officially in stranded on an iceberg called feud! Well that's according to him. I can't be bothered. I just thought he'd be hacked off, but at least own up having behaved like a dick, but no such luck.

Then tonight J gave me notice to move out. No shock or surprise there at all. We are way, way too different to live together. We make chalk and cheese sound like the perfect combination.

I'm never home, am super active, either working or going out with friends. She's always in and sticks to doing the same things, at the same time, nearly every single day, usually in her dressing gown, whether she's inside or outside putting out the bins; and who treats her cat like a small child !

What's just happened is a definite lesson for me about getting, what you thought you wanted and then finding the reality is completely the opposite of what you'd hoped or thought things would be like.

The law of attraction is an powerful thing. Sometimes we forget that, focus on the things we shouldn't or don't need to, sometimes to a point when they drive us crazy.

My advice is to be very careful what you wish for, because you just might get it!

Friends In Need and Silver Linings 2

It seems that I am not the only one who offered a sofa to S. She's so popular, that she told me today she was 'booked' until the New Year, as the guest artist in several of our friends spare bedrooms and living rooms.

I laughed about that, because that's so S - what was super urgent is now not so much so and her own failure to realise just how important she and her well being are to so many people, makes her all the more adorable.

So that solo Christmas I have been craving is now good to go (Thank God I need some quiet uninterrupted BB time!)and I still get the plus of having S around in the New Year, to welcome 2012 in the most positive way possible.

I've already made my New Year's Resolution. Anything or anyone that is negative, draining and not positive is getting tossed. I refuse to be sucked dry by negativity in my world.

Friends in Need and Silver Linings !

Meeting up with S on Tuesday was great. She came over to BB Towers for a Chinese and a proper catch-up. She's another of my friends who 100% gets me. especially all my ups and downs! My 'Don't speak to me in the morning before my first cup of tea' vibe and my 'I don't want to talk face', after a crap day at work and don't wake me up on my day off at 6:30am, especially as I don't go to bed until at least 2am !

We talk about life, writing(she blogs as well), art, guys (although she says that I cheat as I don't really talk about anything smutty enough for her liking), debate the most stupid issues - smooth peanut butter or cruchy, which is the best? It's crunchy of course!

Best of all she makes me laugh out loud. I know I've been kind of spoiled on the laughter factor recently by the lovely R, but hell more BB laughter is always welcome.

She poured out her troubles about her housing situation(her flat sale just fell through) and as of Friday she is going to be sofa hopping. I remembered doing exactly the same thing, just before I brought BB Towers.

I was exactly one week away from completing on a chocolate box picturesque cottage in Dulwich, when the property chain I was in collapsed. It was the first time I fully appreciated how stressful anything to do with property can be.

Fortunately, P put me up while I got myself together and remembering how much that meant to me, I offered S the same, albeit not a room (because they're all booked at the moment at BB Towers) she gets the pull-out ottoman bed in my living room !

She hugged me so hard, I had to tell her to let go and promise that she'd get lost over Christmas so I can still have my Greta Garbo Christmas and that she can only bring strictly one suitcase with her (she has a walk-in wardrobe at her disposal usually that is the size of both my bedrooms).

She moves in next week and I can't wait to be around such a positive person.

The Call Of the Fashion Siren

It takes a hell of a lot to drag this diva out of her cosy boudoir on a wet and wild Saturday, to head into the centre of town, especially if it happens to be on Oxford Street.

But, the call of the fashion siren lured me to John Lewis's Winter Wonderland fashion show on Saturday.

What distinguishes JL fashion shows from those of their competitors, is their commitment to making fashion and beauty accessible to all.

Instead of the usual flurry of stick thin waifs, slinking down catwalks with lollypop heads and twiglet legs, the show offered the audience an opportunity to see great clothes on real women, who they can actually relate to.

The models promenaded along a boulevard of pretty silver Christmas trees, paired with men on the other side of the trees, sporting a variety of winter dandy looks.

Pick of the womens outfits were a silver organza pleat dress, a cute faux fur jacket paired with chocolate slacks, accessorised with gold clutch bag and matching shoes. I loved the 50s patterned prom dress, complimented by a black wrap and playfully elegant peeptoe shoes.

But I have to admit I had two fashion standouts.

First, was a cream, floor-length bias cut evening gown with a beautiful satin pleat detail in the back.

Look out for this as a fore-runner to the Gatsby look which is bound to hit stores next year, on the back of the 'Great Gatsby' remake starring Leonardo Dicaprio and Blake Lively.

My second fashion standout, was worn by one of my favourite models - Ms Annabel Davis!

Ms Davis looking amazing in a gorgeous cobalt blue evening gown, topped off by a cream evening jacket - A fitting model and outfit finale, to another fabulous John Lewis fashion show !

Just one grumble from me about the mens look - Winter Dandy reappears perennially on the male catwalk. What would have been nice to see, was some more practical looks for the male members of the fashion show audience.

I've always thought less is more on the make-up and hair wax fronts for male models. The slightly excessive use of which, on several of models, definitely distracted my attention away from some very strong looks.

Despite that little over grooming blip, I loved the show and am looking forward to the next one !

It's All Happening !

The countdown to Christmas shows no sign of slowing down at all.

On Friday, I dealt with girl code blowout between CJ and L. L has started dating one of CJ's exes - it may have been three years ago, but from the row they has on Friday night, it might as well have been right now. Being piggy in the middle isn't my idea of joy, so I told them to both 'grow up' and talk it out or to just let it lie.

Your guess is as good as mine as to what happens next.

While CJ and L battle it out, S is having a very different battle. Her flat sale has fallen through and it looks like her Christmas is going to be a blue one. We agreed to meet up on Tuesday and come up with an action plan.

On Saturday, I went to see A in her latest fashion show. She looked incredible in a floor length, cobalt blue evening gown and a cream jacket. The rest of the show was stunning, focusing on Christmas party looks and for men the Edwardian dandy theme ran through all their looks.

I got back from the show in time to meet R and we headed to our favourite Indian for a quick bite to eat before the X-Factor final and off to bed...to sleep !

Alone time for us at the moment is practically impossible due to work and other circumstances, so I've taken things into my own hands and planned a Christmas surprise that is strictly for just the two of us, without interruptions from adults, children and animals.

In the meantime, I'm taking an inventory of this year and my life in general. I'm going to have a long hard think during my customary solo Christmas and decide exactly what or who I need to ditch or keep.

I've been forced to compromise myself personally heavily and too a degree economically as well, because things have changed so often this year. I've had to make some tough judgement calls and be super practical, just to stay sane and afloat.

Now that things have stablised, I fully intend to get back in the driving seat and do what's right for me on every level.

Guilty Pleasures and Stuff

First I need to own yet another guilty pleasure, probably the trashiest US show ever ...Cheaters...where of course, cheating partners are caught out.

Car crash moments which had had me in stitches for all the wrong reasons, including the investigative commentary of it's host Joey Greico. JG is in my eyes, an unsung comedy legend for his ability to keep a straight face in the midst of all the cheating mayhem !

Which leads me neatly onto R, who thankfully isn't a cheater. For all of the doubters (which originally included myself) ..it's all going swimmingly, despite a few road humps.

Saturday was challenging ! Those of you who know me, know why and for those who don't (just contact me the usual way and I'll tell you offline :0), R just took it all in his stride, and won brownie points galore from me.

He was on a winning man streak, until an overly bossy outburst at the gym on Sunday, led to me telling him to mind his own business and not mine !

It didn't lead an awkward moment, because we don't really have anything to row about, but I did get a 'sorry' later...arr it's great dating a grown-up!And I'm not just talking about R ! It's gold stars all round for both of us..gulp!

Which lucky because work is ....mmm...grrr...we are currently boss-free and underwhelmed.

Mix in a work event, the flu bug and thank sinking feeling and you have entered BB land !

Change Is My Friend.

I'm settling into my latest contract and finding my way around office politics, a slightly nuts, very shouty boss, systems that hinder rather than help me and fortunately some really lovely colleagues.

I haven't given up on my dream role, I'm still beavering away at it on the side, but I am relived that I can pursue this without existing in a state of fear, about what little surprise is going to pop up next.

It's nice to be beyond busy again - I am working insane hours and trying to get up to speed with additional responsiblities, which have somehow landed on my desk !

With all of this going on it's great to have little romantic distraction on the side.

Yes R has done it again and instead of bolting (as is the custom with my love interests), he initiated a very grown up conversation with me about 'how we move forward', starting with spending time quality together.

Snatched moments during the week are pretty awkward to fit in at the moment for both of us, so we're going old school with a Friday or Saturday date night and sleepover.

This week it's Saturday. First we're off to the gym, then shopping, then the X-Factor and a not so early night. What's cool is the certainity of it happening and the relief that comes from not having to play games and act cool all the time with R.

Things are definitely looking up !