Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Your Cheating Heart or Stuff Kirsten Stewart Should Know!

Ingrid Bergman
Cover of Ingrid Bergman
So Kirsten Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with the older, married to supermodel, yes, that's right supermodel Liberty Ross, Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Saunders. Scandalous !!!!

Did Kirsten get tired of puppy love with beautiful 'boy' Pattinson. Was her head turned by long days on set with the older, but totally handsome Saunders?
Your guess is as good as mine.

But as any sensible person with other things to do with their time would say - 'Big Deal !!' Really two Hollywood types get together and do the nasty.  So what! This type of naughty Hollywood scandal is nearly as old as the hills themselves !

Everyone remembers Ingrid Bergman for Casablanca right? A classically beautiful Swedish beauty, who became the Queen of Hollywood. Winner of three Oscars and fourth on the all-time list of greatest ever female movie stars.

But all of that acclaim didn't save her when she fell in love with married director Roberto Rossellini. Oh and just to make things even more complicated, she was married as well at the time with two small children.

Payback Hollywood style meant she was effectively exiled from it for 10 years !!! Whether this will be Kirsten's fate or not, may just depend on how well received her 'very sorry I cheated on you' message goes down not just with her boyfriend Rob, but also with how it plays out with her viewing audience; which up til now has largely been teenage girls.

While Ingrid only had to deal with the newspapers, radio and tv; Kirsten gets the joy of Twitter and basically the world courtesy of the net, all throwing in their two cents worth of opinion about her cheating. Which leads me neatly to the question, do any of us have the right to judge her?

If I look at my own cheating chart throughout my dating life, there would be a enormous tick beside cheating for me. Yes I may be a wholesome bunny now, but I have been a bad girl in the past and lived up to that tag 100% and dare I say it at the time, loved every minute of it.

Hottie, uptil now the big love and biggest mistake of my life was taken when I fell for him and  I was tailspinning out of my own car crash with GR. All it took was H (who I'd been sneakily lusting over for about 6 months, without doing anything about it other than staring at him, whenever he stood by the water cooler) asking me for a drink after work and GR was history.

By the time I actually hooked up with H, I'd dumped GR and I was good to go. But H wasn't. So after a short fling with me, he simply went home to his other half and acted like nothing had happened.

I clearly got what I deserved. Pee on someone else's lawn or life and that bitch karma will deal with you as only she can.  Yes, I learnt my lesson the hard way, but I had no one to blame except myself and my poor judgement.

Have I cheated since? No. I'm a grown woman, who absolutely knows the consequences and doesn't want to place herself at the heart of a lie. I know how guilty I felt. I also know how it feels to be 'someone's dirty little secret'. 

Do I think that cheating is black and white anymore? Absolutely not. Especially not since I've been there. There are so many more opportunities to cheat in our daily lives, than there ever have been, but the buck or deciding to remain faithful stops with us as individuals.

Cheating is about making the decision to stay right where you are and accept it or jump into the unknown following let's be honest, the ultimate carnal sin - LUST !

You could be the type of lovefool I was. Kidding yourself that you can convert lust into a relationship, but the reality is if you aren't on the same page as your cheating partner; there's no way someone isn't going to end up being hurt.

Or in my case totally broken hearted and seriously not trusting myself or men for quite a while afterwards.

Whether this is Kirsten Stewart's fate; only time will tell.
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Saturday, 14 July 2012

BB Gets Her Dating Groove Back !

So for a dating and things that happen in my life kinda blog, I am willing to put my hands up and say that there's definitely been a distinct lack of dating recently.
First, because since R dumped me via text (yes, if you're new to 'divas' R was the 40something man who decided that behaving like his 16 year son when dealing with affairs of the heart, was the way to go.

Or in other words why say what's on your mind like a man, when you can text a non-reason for breaking up instead and avoid an awkward conversation.

I was disappointed, but mainly because he was so rude and cowardly about it.  If I'm even more honest, it left enough of a sour taste, to make  me not want to bother with men for awhile. Not that I am tarring them all with the same brush as R, but when you continually meet great guys who are already taken, and you're not the bit on a side type; you can easily fall into diva in her shell mode.

And second because after years of smugly and snobbily insisting on including 'must be in regular, continuous employment' on my ever decreasing list of attributes for my Mr Right Now; finding myself cast as a freelance - operating on a gig2gig status, in my eyes doesn't exactly make me the most desirable date out there.

It may sound a little nutty, but that's how far out of my comfort zone I feel right now.  Fortunately despite my dating reluctance fate intervened yesterday and via a kind deed of mine (knowing the Tube map inside out - I know, I'm a little weird remembering things others choose to forget!), I landed myself a date with a Canadian called Jeff.

Before I had even finished giving him directions, J had asked me for my number (which I didn't give him, but I did take his! ), asked me if I was single and what I was doing Saturday night.

I adore old school men. Straight down the line guys who are black and white direct. The type of men who know exactly what they want and just go after it,. One quick latte to think things over and I called him.

Tonight we went out and you know what I had a great time.

J is terrific company. He's smart, funny, knows how to treat a lady (doors opened, walking on the outside of the curb and evening pulling out my chair for me. He's a little younger than what I normally go for.

No, not jailbait. He's just turned 30. He has a shaved head - yah!  He's ridiculously easy on the eye which is weird for me as good looking guys scare me bigtime usually !

Why? I think it's the competition they seem to evoke in other women. Not saying I won't step up if I think another lady is coming on agressively to my other half, but doing it all the time would really hack me off.

I've only experienced it once before, when I was dating M a male model, who was a sweetheart, but really got a kick out of continuous female attention, even when he was out with me.

Back to J and I - Well we talked, hit a couple of bars, talked some more. Grabbed some food and then he walked me to my train and pulled out his big.... ...good night kiss. (ooo what dirty minds some of you have!).
It was definitely tip-top.  For all of you guys out there, it really is in your kiss. J's was right on the money and not because I have had a good snog in awhile, but just because he just had.... it!

So where is this all leading, unfortunately nowhere. J is in London only until Monday and then back to Canada, where you've guessed it he lives full-time and has a two year old son, who lives part of the time with him and the rest of the time with his ex-wife.

Am I sad about it. Not at all . Life is what it is. And as for J well let's just say he kissed BB back to dating life :0 )
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Thursday, 12 July 2012

Snatching Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat

Andy Murray
Andy Murray (Photo credit: Carine06)

Now that the dust has settled and all of our tears have dried, Andrew Murray may just have cause to be more than a little relieved that he didn't win the Wimbledon Men's Final at his first attempt.

Being beaten by aruguably one of the best tennis players of all time Roger Federer is no shame.

But Murray was as you would expect beyond inconsolable at the end of a match, that he'd given 150% to.

Murray had previously distinguished himself by being a universally acknowledged surly character, seemingly uncomfortable with carrying the weight of a nation on his shoulders, for the last three Wimbledon fortnights.

It was only at the end of the match, when a drained, broken Murray acknowledged the crowd and his support team, before dissolving into barely swallowed bitter tears; that we finally saw the human side of him.

That flash of emotion was enough to melt a nation's heart, send Twitter into sympathy overload and rebrand Murray as a warm, likeable human being and a marketeer's dream :0 )

If he doesn't win BBC Sports Personality Of The Year and more product sponsorships than he can handle, I'll burn my weave - yep, it's that unlikely :0 )
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Thursday, 5 July 2012

Bounceback BB

After a life smackdown (e.g. a break-up, losing your job etc) there are two ways you can go.


With or without bad food, copious amounts of wine and some really bad background music. Oh and you absolutely must brood (the length of time you waste on this is up to you, but I strongly recommend no longer than a few days) !



Cry  it out and get right back on that horse that kicked you in the head, when you weren't looking.

You can guess which one I chose.  Don't get me wrong I did have one angry, self-pitying blub in the toilets at my b and b (bread and butter) job and treated myself to an extra latte after a fat busting lunch; but by the time I got home, having talked to a few friends, I got myself together.

The rest of the week has been spent chasing down new opportunities and gigs, being a Twitter wiseguy (or should that be wise diva?), and painting J's living room.

She's just moved to one of those fixer-uppers that is going to be beyond gorgeous when its done, but right now aside from the living room resembles a interior design nightmare !

Painting to the 'sounds' of totally kitsch Spice Girl megamixes and several volumes of 'Now That's What I Call Music' was strangely the best tonic I could have asked for.

Once we'd finished, we sat down and put together one of my ridiculously essential 'To Do' lists, so I had something to focus on.

Yes. I hold my hands up even in the midst of a crisis, I always have time to make a To Do list !

How do I feel right now ?  Blessed. To have great family and friends and optimistic, no wait it's more than that.

I am hopeful.

Because without Hope, it really would be game over for me ! :0 )

Monday, 2 July 2012

Just Call Me Diva !

Diva Universal (Philippines)
Diva Universal (Philippines) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know how you always hope Mondays will set the tone for the week in a positive way? Well sometimes however hard you try ; things still go belly up !

Just like so many other weeks before, I’ve spent the last week waiting to hear about another entry level opportunity, that I would give my right arm to do and more importantly have the passion and aptitude to execute perfectly.

I pulled together a strategic presentation outlining what I would do in the role, complete with platform/brand ideas; which was deemed good enough to see me through Stage One.

Stage Two was a writing/technical assignment the results of which I’d been waiting for and received this morning. All of this before I even got to talk to one person at the company.

That being said all my efforts ultimately added up to a big fat nothing. I received the news in that compassion format, known as email.

It was one of those short HR standard paragraphs,

‘Dear candidate, unfortunately we were overwhelmed by the high standard of applicants’ blah, blah. I couldn’t help but smile when I also saw that I had been thanked for ‘my obvious passion’ for the company.

At the beginning of my long-term job search, I’ll admit to getting thoroughly ticked off by this type of employer ‘interaction’ which really offers an axed candidate nothing in terms of feedback, except to say that you didn’t get the job.

Now I always, always ask for feedback as to where I can improve and what was missing from my application. In this instance, annoyingly it was two ‘minor’ technical points (small), but apparently the finite difference between being cut or progressing to the next stage of the recruitment process.

Then apparently there was a feeling that my blog Divasdelite was not attune to their brand. The fact that I would be representing their brand message and therefore taking on their brand voice, not Divas, seemed to be completely lost on them.

Being told that in their opinion I would be giving off a ‘Diva’ connotation that maybe at odds with my actual personality, was the last straw for me. I responded immediately.

Thanking them for their comments, but also directing them to my makeup blog and online event reviews, as the best possible evidence of a grounded, warm, diverse individual who is anything but a diva in the classic sense of the word.

Just someone, like so many other people right now, who are looking for an opportunity to show a prospective full-time employer what they can do.

The past year has a pretty joyless one with an extended job hunt that has ruthlessly ground me down, to the point where I have felt at times I might never have a proper job again, despite having a solid work history; and being motivated enough to go to night school to get my degree, while working full-time before this bloody work drought set in.

The only thing that’s kept me absolutely sane is my blogging.

I’ve taken on jobs I’d never, ever thought I would do or have to, rather than queue at a dole office. I’ve stood behind the counter in a shop and served my ex HR Director, whose ‘where did it all go wrong ‘look on her face was just the type of humiliation no one needs or deserves.

There are been mornings when I could barely face the walk into town to the library, where I would join the other ranks of job hunters, combing the wanted columns and tapping away furiously away completing numerous online applications, usually resulting in not even the basic courtesy of a response.

I can honestly say I’ve tried everything. Called up old contacts, joined agencies (23 in all!), sent speculative letters, produced more presentations than I ever thought I had within me and still I am hanging on in there with short-term drips of work that just about keep me afloat.

I’ve found the whole experience, demoralising, humiliating and incredibly disappointing. I’ve even hidden away from friends and family for a time, because I was so ashamed of having to admit just how ropey things have been.

For someone who’s worked since she was 15 and grown up with the mantra that if you work hard, good things will undoubtedly follow - progress in my life and work, at times it’s been totally soul destroying, or just plain irritating like today.

There are those out there that have either allowed or been engulfed in the hopelessness of their situation and I’ve watched several really talented individuals recently, effectively ‘disappear’ before my eyes, because they gave up fighting to stay afloat.

I’ve dealt with all my ups and down in the only healthy way I could, I have chosen to fight back with my words, self belief and dare I say it attitude.

If I’ve had a good day, I’ll blog about it. If I’ve had a day like today I own it and write about it, let go of it and start again because tears and woe is me just doesn’t cut it when you’re in survivor mode.

I’ve also received an abundance of Twitter ‘love’, from complete strangers who’ve supported me and encouraged me to keep plugging away. That door will open. Not sure when, but it will open and I will get that elusive yes.

If that ability to keep getting up, even when you keep hearing ‘No’ day after day, makes me a diva then so be it ! I’d rather the survivor, who actually knows what the true meaning of being a diva is.

A mentally strong, independent; sometimes difficult, stubborn but definitely never a boring female, who keeps getting back up, no matter what is thrown at her.

To all of my fellow divas, I salute you, send you hugs, wish you well and ...let’s keep on plugging to get what we want !

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