Tuesday 10 June 2014

He's Just Not Into You !

It's taken me a while, well actually several decades to conclude that my love life is almost permanently pants.

This isn't a bitter harpy speaking to you it's more a disappointed Dora, who has tried big love, fast love, casual love, heartfelt love and has finally realised that not everyone gets the love life they deserve; no matter what the songs say or however many self-help books they read.
 
I can honestly say, that having 'dated' men with varying degrees of separation, age, haircuts and success, the common denominator in my love misadventures is me and therefore after my latest "He's just not into you" non-date moment, the blame must rest firmly on my shoulders.

I haven't really dated anyone since Big B, who texted me on my birthday from NY with his standard, "Things have been crazy at work, but I'll definitely call you soon" message.

Since this has been an almost standard text or phone message from him for well over a year and should really be his answerphone message, I replied with a very definite 
 
"Lovely to hear from you, unfortunately this ship has sailed' and please don't feel you have to text or morse code me anymore".

Then, as I scurried down the street today, after a client meeting to grab some lunch, I bumped almost head on into second to last, most recent love interest, bounding down the street holding hands with his new girlfriend.
 
She looked so ridiculously glam skinny, though lacking the sense to properly blend her fake tan, all the way down her neck; that I prayed a taxi cab would take me out, as I crossed the street, so at least my almost regulation jeans, slogan t-shirt and signature shades would at least be hidden by the taxi's bonnet passing over my head !

Which brings me neatly to my latest non love interest - Mr Fox. A handsome, mature super smart, salt and pepper wily fox with a devilish smile. Add to that a razor sharp wit, alpha male aura and the ability to rock a suit old school, so well, that it makes a woman want to ditch the rules and go home with him.
 
(Before you ask, no I haven't :0)

Because of his super blunt 'no commitment' directive (which I actually found strangely 'refreshing'), issued right before the end of non-date one, I had Mr Fox in mind for a short but sweet, summer fun slot. Somerset House Film Four open air movies, Hyde Park snooze feasts, visiting galleries and museums and just generally hanging out.
 
After dinner, I walked him to his latest meeting (I'm an equal opportunities work destination companion) and established during the length of that walk, that due to work commitments and his super hectic life, that I probably wouldn't see him again face to face until mid-September.

"So I won't see you before you leave then ?", I said.
"Let's play it by ear", he replied.  In other words he was done.
 
Don't get me wrong I wasn't heartbroken by the news that there aren't going to be any more Odd Couple moments with him, but however, cool of a dating diva you may be, experiencing such a pointed "He's just not into you" moments is never a good thing for the old ego.

I had thought things would be much easier having dropped my squeeze requirements down from Mr Right, to Mr Season. The realisation that my 'dating picker' is totally off even, when it comes to choosing Mr Season, drove me to a serious sugar overload - a packet of Haribo Starmix, was rapidly consumed.

This sugar-filled frenzy that was only reined in by a Skype call with Q, who's back on with Mr Recycled (a guy it didn't work out with first time around, but who you leave enough distance between dating to justify going back for another go, when all other love interests have been exhausted).
 
She reminded me that I do have a lot going on - family stuff, keeping a business afloat, clients happy, barely sleeping and a sweet and sour addiction to rocket salad and Haribos. By the end of her 'prep talk' my dating ego was marginally re-inflated.

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