Thursday, 24 February 2011

Nosey Diva

Linked In is the new way to check up on your ex, if you are a nosey little Diva like moi.

I am not ashamed to say that today I checked out Mr Scotland. He remains a rare highpoint of my dating career, as with him, I finally cracked 'the leaving someone you don't love anymore', can be surprisingly easy moment.

The inability to say when you are hacked off with somebody, can make or break even the best relationships. Unbelievably MS is now Head of Communications for a global financial institution.

It's great in the sense that I am pleased his ambitions were realised (he really is an exceptionally gifted guy), but also so ironic.

The primary reason we broke up - aside from money - he earned loads, I didn't. He loved his Mum more than his car, blackberry, swanky house and any other woman (including yours truly) in the entire universe; was his complete inability to communicate (in the last year of our relationship anyway!), without being a bit of a tool.

When he did communicate it was pithy, bite back cheap comments, that you would have expected from a dumped schoolboy, which was kind of what he looked like, before I sorted out his wardrobe.

When you are faced with a communication lockdown like ours, the only thing you can do is bail. My man communication tools are working reasonably ok at the moment.

I have a second date with the Frenchman on Sunday, but I'm in two minds about him. He is my usual smart, funny mix but he is also extremely rude. Rude in the sense that he has no censor check on himself.

When we went to dinner last week (yes another secret date from me, because I don't want to bore you or my friends with a series of one date wonder tales - which is pretty much the playground of love I've been in since January), he couldn't help but insult the waitress, apparently because he thought it was funny.

She was leaning in to pour the water for our table, when her more than ample chest, grazed him arm, while threatening to spill out of her top.

"Now that's what I call a starter!" said TF leering and smirking directly at the unfortunate waitress's chest.

She of course heard what he said, put down the water jug, turned bright red then headed back to the kitchen shaking her head.

When our starter finally arrived, 'Red' had been replaced by a rather gruff looking man who smiled broadly at me and scrowled hard at TF.

I found the whole thing juvenile and spiteful. There was absolutely no need for that comment.

Depending on his behaviour on Sunday, I'm going decide whether he's worth 'keeping' around or not.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

When Do You Move from Date to Girlfriend or Boyfriend ?

So things have been gently sizzling between B and her delightful beau.

She was comfortable enjoying that nice honeymoon stage, that you get a crunchy stomach when you talk to them, you both fancy the pants off each other and have yet to witness the slightly more dodgy bits of your personalities and habits.

Just short of their nearly three week anniversary, her new beau texted her while on a night out with the boys.

"My mate wants to know if you're my new girlfriend. What shall I tell him?"

There were two obvious ways to go with this one. If it were me I would have said

"That's up to you cherub",

thereby bouncing that particular dilemma right back into said beau's court. Requiring him to think on his feet and potentially commit to something earlier than he wanted (arr.... we women can be so conniving!).

Or, giving him the opportunity to tie himself up in knots trying to remove himself from a situation he never wanted to place himself in, in the first place.

A little bit of romantic mischief never hurt anyone did it?

Or you could elect pathway two which is the gentle enquiring one adopted by B.

"Umm you're getting there slowly -x-"

We frequently have a go at men for not being straight with us about where we stand, but just like them sometimes extreme caution sweeps over us and we find ourselves saying one thing, while still being confused the another !

B has been single awhile, so its quite sweet that now she's found someone, she is trying her best not to be carried away with the joy of finding someone you actually like, who likes you back.

Who said the love game is an easy one to play !

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Total Failure Can Breed Perfect Success

I have failed spectacularly on numerous occasions in my life, work and especially in my search for love.

While others may have found it hard to bounce back, I always have due to a survival instinct, heightened by the reality that I am ultimately the only one who can pick myself up and learn from the situation I find myself in.

A couple of weeks ago I brought Adele's album 21 and was instantly captivated by 'Someone Like You', which she sang last week at the Brits and moved the audience to tears (theirs', hers' and mine) and a standing ovation.

I didn't think one song could so perfectly encompass all the emotions I felt about a certain someone.

Excitement, lust, longing, love and ultimately disappointment when I realised he wasn't who I thought he was and that I put him on a pedestal so high, that he was always going to fall from it.

But I learned from it and that lesson has been one of my biggest life lessons so far, despite the situation being for me, one of my worst failures in my actions and exposing the frailties of my character.

Owning that sometimes you will have to overcome failure, to succeed is equally scary when its in connection with your work.

My dealings with HWMBO were ultimately disastrous, but in the long run, I won and I learnt that no job is big enough for you to lose your soul too. Which brings me to two friends I talked with this weekend.

Friend 1 hates her job with a passion, and is being from the sound of things, relentlessly bullied by her boss.

"Just leave!" was my advice.

"Plan it of course, but instead of killing yourself for an an unappreciative harpy, who won't allow you to succeed, can her, before she cans you. Remember what happened with her in your next job and I promise you, you won't have to deal with that crap again, because you'll recognise the signs and be more able to set your work boundaries"

Friend 2 is without doubt one of the smartest people I know. She is funny, attractive, feisty and outwardedly very confident. But,she suffers from self doubt, or as I like to call it 'work stage fright'.

Having landed her dream job, she has worked herself in a perfect storm, finding mountains, where molehills lie and trusting no one including herself.

She isn't a weak willed Wilma, but she is someone who craves high standards for herself at work and who when things go wrong is her own harshest critic.

"Get a grip" I said adopting the old 'it is what it is' road I take when trying to shake myself and my friends from a pity party.

"You need to pull your shit together, because the only person being sabotaged here is you. You need to trust yourself. You are brilliant at what you do and the only person who doesn't seem to have realised it is you. Even if you end up in the worst case scenario, you'll deal with it, because you always do".

Fear of failure maybe overwhelming. We may not always want to recognise it or admit it to ourselves. It hits us all in different ways at different times in our lives. We can deal with it like Adele by singing sad songs or burying ourselves in our work like I do.

However, when you experience fear of success, you have no alternative but to front it and not allow it to be an excuse to punish ourselves with, as we try to attain impossible perfection where it really isn't needed.

Success or failure in life is determined by our own willpower and blind courage - willpower to continue doing those rituals (like hard work and commitment) and blind courage (being persistent when anyone else would have stopped trying).

Stir in a heavy dose of luck and then its up to you to decide whether you want to succeed or fail.

Friday, 18 February 2011

Wonka Delites

Just how many emails can BT send me to tell me they hope to resolve my broadband problem - too many !

The good news is after much toing and froing I have managed to secure the services of a BT engineer who duly came out this morning, complete with shadow sidekick, a sweetheart who has just finished his first stage BT training.

Result - BB Towers is now broadband active again and I am one happy bunny !

In the meantime yesterday, I have had one of the best days ever at work, when our team hosted our weekly work get together.

You know when you end up in a job, that not just suits you, but allows you to be a little nutty, without driving your colleagues crazy too, well my present role is that job.

The team came up with the theme of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and went to town. We decorated an office, made our own 'lick me' wallpaper with stuck on sweets.

We decorated cupcakes with super bright icing, set up a chocolate fountain teamed with marshmallows on sticks and stocked our very grown up bar with snozzleberry juice, cheeky vimto and cream tops.

By 4:45 we were all in costume as Willie Wonka, Charlie, Violet, Augustus and Ompa Lumpas and that's when the party really got started. Just one short hour later, our bar was empty (no surprise, since we ended up with 85 guests!).

Add to this golden tickets for everyone who attended, with one lucky ticket holder being drawn as the winner of our Wonka bonus and we pretty much ticked every fun box possible.

The pictures were posted for online for today everyone to see. The best thing about them - everyone had a great time. Our Ompa Lumpa green wigs ended up being a 'must try on and take a silly picture' moment and all of the pictures captured the party spirit perfectly.

Now that what I call a successful team bonding exercise - Happy Friday !

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Love Hangover !

First wohoo! We've reached 30 followers ! Thank you so much getting the word out about Divasdelite and as ever many thanks for your emails and comments.

So how was your Valentine's Day? Mine was quiet. One movie (Mildred Pearce with Joan Crawford at her dreadful best), one chilli con carne, followed by strawberry cheesecake ice cream, one sofa and me in a mega comfortable pair of pjs.

S did his Valentine 101 text check, to make sure I hadn't hit pity street.

"An old movie . I hope it's not Pretty Woman again ! Ice cream sounds yummy! To be fair BB, a date on Valentines' tends to go wrong !"

He was of course right, there's nothing like a day of love to throw a spanner in the works of a budding romance.

B was horrified, to find that her new beau (the fireman, sigh!) had the foresight to hand deliver a Valentine's card to her home, after seeing her for a mere two weeks.

While most sane women would have be delighted, because its pretty obvious he likes her, B was so freaked out by his gesture she got her flatmate to open the card.

While B was freaking out, D was having a real case of the Valentine Blues.

I asked her what was wrong. She replied.

"Why are all men so rubbish?"

Many moons ago, I remember coming to pretty much the same conclusion as her. That is, until experience and a reality check about myself (yes I can be a dating jackarse too!) taught me, that you can't be dismissive of the whole of mankind.

A lot of the time 'being rubbish' works both ways - yep, we ladies mess up too!

Her denouncement got the whole table involved in one of our impromptu debates.

"Do you want to tell us about it? " said M, who combines earnest enthusiasm, with the face of cherubic boy scout who ants in his pants.

"Well I last talked to him on Friday and well I thought he would at least text me"

"How long have you been seeing him?"
chipped in N, MF's replacement, who is still getting used to us, but has shown flashes of black humour which I know will definitely keep us all amused.

"A week" D replied proudly.

"A week !" we all chorused.

"Cherub, I hate to rain on your hearts and flowers parade, but a week is way too early to expect a big Valentine's moment from Mr Man".

It's way too soon and trust me if he did something you'd probably think he was too keen"
I said trying to be sympathetic.

"Sorry D, but I agree with BB. He can't read your mind. Another thing you have to remember about us men, is that we don't think about things like texting you when you want us to or Valentine's Day, we just problem solvers!" said N.

D smirked, as she switched her laptop off

"Thanks for the counselling session guys!"

Monday, 14 February 2011

Valentine's Day

Well it's here once again - Valentine's Day !

That time of the year treasured by expectant women and feared by freaked out men, who have realised just how important it is to their partner and how little they have done about it.

If like me you are a singleton, there is no better reminder than the day of love, to crystalise one's single status and make you want to do something about it.

I'm pretty chilled by my standards. I knew it would be a non-day and it has been. The only bit of heart-stopping action I received, is that I may have left my purse at home....well it's not in my bag, so I blooming well hope it is !

I thought I was the ultimate Valentine's hater, until I witnessed my colleagues Tand K's take on all things Valentine.

K arrived looking super slick, in a black rollneck, black slacks and a sexy new power bob. We all thought she'd made the effort for a romantic Valentine's evening.

Instead she declared that she had firmly left strict instructions for her boyfriend not "to buy flowers, as they die!".

It took her until just after lunch, to concede that buying a card for her boyfriend, might be a nice gesture.

While K slipped out to buy a belated card for her long-suffering honey, T said she wasn't going to bother.

Just two short hours later, T received two dozen roses from hubby. Her response

"I suppose I'll have to him buy a card now" .

Sometimes the universe plays tricks on its inhabitants and for no rhyme or reason gives things to people who really don't appreciate them.

In the past I would have been down-hearted, but I think I may re-discovered the true spirit of Valentine's curtsey of S's niece.

Her niece was visited at the weekend by an admirer, (who came with his mum), a Valentine card and a gift for S's niece. The cute bit of the story is that both the niece and the admirer are 11 !

Yep he may be 11, but even he knew that turning up el solo on his bike, just wouldn't have had the same effect.

After her Valentine beau had left, S's niece pleaded with everyone in the room to "stop looking" at her and went bright red.

Very 'Love Actually' and proof that you're never too young or too old for a little bit of romance !

Friday, 11 February 2011

Holding Good Thoughts

I woke up knowing the day would be a good and bad one. Good because LL had an interview, which I was convinced she'd get and sad because MF was leaving. I texted LL some BB encouragement.

'I am holding good thoughts for you as the job is yours to claim. Believe that. Do your best and that will be enough', and then knuckled down to a full on day at work.

At the end of the day I hugged it out with MF and surprisingly for me, managed not to cry. What better way to turn my sad face to a smiley face was there than dinner with LL.

Since LL left the agency, she's really come into her own again. She's been travelling, is helping out at a local charity and has faced up to and dealt with some issues which she previously ran from.

She's never complained or given in to sad thoughts or turned into a moaning dream killer. She's just handled her business with dignity, grace and wisdom.

When I arrived at Camden, I was hot, harassed,sweaty and still a little blue about MF leaving. I made my way to the Tube entrance in mole fashion (even with contacts I had the eyesight of a nearly blind bat!) and would have walked straight past her, if she hadn't have yelled my name at loudly and greeted me with a massive bear hug.

"I got the job !", she shrieked excitedly.

We hugged again and jumped up and down like two excited kids, then headed off for our meal to catch up propertly.

I can't tell you what we talked about because it was really private. What I can say is, I left the company of my funny, headstrong, courageous and wildly impulsive friend, feeling happy, fortunate and inspired by her.

This is your year LL !

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Finding Peace and Winning Hearts

Today Is All About - Knowing Where You Are and Not Spending A Fortune!

There are two things that hit premium price on Valentine's Day - restaurants and flowers.

Overnight it seems roses quadruple in price and even that little dingy looking Italian down the street from you, has suddenly doubled its prices, for granting you the privilege of not having to cook a meal for your loved one.

RA has been dating her rugby playing fireman for two weeks and his casual mention of the days that he can see her next week (Monday and Wednesday) has caused a ripple of terror in her.

"I said Wednesday. I just don't want to put pressure on us, after all its only been a few weeks now", she said

"I wouldn't worry about it too much cherub, despite the fact that you can't seem to walk past a window display without seeing a window display at the minute, he's probably one of those guys who'll won't be bothered by it. You know you'll probably get one of the mid-afternoon Happy Valentine's text", I replied.

"I hope so. It's just too soon to start worrying about buying cards and stuff, we've only been together for two weeks!", she said looking a little worried.

If you can't face queuing to try and get into a crappy restaurant or buying the last bunch of flowers from the garage, or like me you are going to be single on the big day how about trying these little gems:

Take a drive or walk When's the last time you had a proper talk with your other half? Not one of those minimum 'how was your day moments? ', a proper chat. It doesn't have to change the world.

It can can be about anything, but if it engages you and hopefully also puts a smile on your face, then hey it was worth it right?

Oh and before I forget take a map or at the very least know where you are going, particularly if you have a crap sense of direction like me.

Slip card or love note into your loved ones' work bag, briefcase or even lunch box. They won't be expecting it and it should put a smile on their face.

You don't have to be super sloppy, just tell them you appreciate them today and every other day. If you're single send a non-Valentine card to a friend you know is going through a tough time or hell why not just call them up and catch up?

This one is the big gun I always bring out of my love arsenal. It never fails. Cook together. It's fun and it can be pretty sexy too, depending on what you are cooking and wearing !!

Pick a a recipe you both like, divide up the ingredients so you both do the shopping and buy a little naughty extra like her favourite ice cream or chocolates. Agree to get home early and cook together, before settling down to a few glasses of wine and 'the treat'!

Wow! I think I've just rediscovered my romantic side!

Am I Too Cynical To Love ?

"Are you too cynical to find love?", one of you has asked me. And perhaps I had that coming, since I haven't really mentioned anything much about my dating exploits recently. There is a reason though.

Today, I saw MF's wedding pictures. They were gorgeous, intimate pictures of two grown-up equals, happy, healthy and secure eough in themselves and their relationship to cement it personally and legally.

When I look back over my dating history and early blog postings I can feel my frustrated sometimes, really lonely desperation at trying to connect with someone who gave a damn about me.

Roll forward to now and I've accepted what an unhealthy nightmare I have been in the past. I didn't like myself very much and thought I morph into someone else to get the guy and make him stay.

There's only ever been one occasion where I was totally honest yes you've guessed it, with H.

What I had to deal with was, how can you move on if you lock away your past, don't own the knowledge of it or the way it influences you today.

I wouldn't say I was cynical, but I am much more careful with my heart and myself. If a man can't be bothered to turn up for a date with me or treats me poorly, I have every right to be vocal and draw conclusions from it. 1) It's just rude and unnecessary and 2) That type of guy is just not worth my time or energy.

I don't need to complain about the men that come my way anymore. It's nice to know you still got it, but I also know my value. I don't have to make do,as so many of my attached friends have suggested.

I can't tell you how many friends have thrown me in the way of guys I either have nothing in commom with or who i'm just not attracted to in the slightest.

I don't like super short guys, because that's all I've ever dated up to this point and shallow as it sounds, I'm over them. I'm short enough for both of us! Fat guys, not a problem, but not super, supersize it's not sexy to me. Average looking to cute. Yep, I'm no supermodel, but I'm ok.

There I said it. I now judge men, just as they judge us and it's a hell of a lot more honest than I used to be.

Instead of blindly judging, I now understand those women who put up with bad boys because maybe that's all they're used to.

Who put up with a serial shagging boyfriends or husbands, because they can't bear the thought of starting yet another love search, sometimes with children in tow, cut off from a formerly secure life and financially crippled after a divorce.

I'm no better than them, which is a complete 360 from where I used to be, but I know it's the real deal or nothing for me.

I also appreciate that for every bad guy out there, there are an equal number of bad women. Blaming men for all my woes isn't what any emotionally intelligent woman(including myself) does.

Maybe it's that knowledge that's made me chill out, lower my skyscraper expectations and go with the flow. Sure being single is a boring drag sometimes, but at least I'm not afraid to admit it and deal with in my own way.

Am I happy? Sorta. Do I like myself. Yes, because I have no reason not to.

Someday I want to be in the same pictures as the ones MF showed me, standing beside an accepting, loving partner who knows BB inside out and thinks she's a keeper.

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Treats !!!

No I haven't changed my mind about Valentine's Day, but I did get some unexpected feedback. To the lovely gentleman who emailed me to say his wife was definitely going to get an unexpectedly good Valentine's Day present because of the blog yesterday.

Sir, thank you for your kind words and reconsidering your potential present for your wife. Also, I can guarantee, bearing in mind your unusual previous gifts to her(gardening shears?), your wife will more than grateful!

In the spirit of this success I have decided to continue to help out those men, who really want to go all out on Valentine's Day.

Today is all about - Make-Up

There have been many days in my life when I wished I was a guy (in toilets, on dates, during break-ups and when it comes to any pay rise negotiations! ) however, each morning when I enter the bathroom and see the wreck that stares back at me, I am thankful both for being a woman and access to the miracle that is make-up !

At lunchtime, I picked up my favourite Revlon Colour Stay foundation which gives me my "face the world skin"...because trust me the world is not ready to see this Diva eau naturale!

For every guy that says he likes his woman when she is wearing no make-up, I am going to break the earth-shatteirng news to you, that the natural look is even harder to achieve than the made up one !

Valentine's Day make-up as a gift is one of those unexpected pleasures a woman loves to receive. If you want to get it right, pay attention please.

Foundation and coverstick- way too complicated for me to go into - leave that to your other half !

Red lipstick - is not for everyone ! Blondes and brunettes - check. Everyone else try a wine or burgundy for a truly flattering lipcolour.

Eyeshadow - or as I like to call them the 'transformer' piece of make-up - moss greens, greys, browns and golds are pretty safe bets for everyone. If you get stuck, grab a saleswoman and make sure you tell her your gf or p's eye and hair colour.

Mascara - Budget best seller is Maybelline's Great Lash (pink bottle, green top or all pink bottle). If you want to push the boat out Christian Dior, Diorshow is about as sexy as they come !

If the thought of make-up leaves you cold then how about booking a make-up lesson or buying a make-up bag.

Size really is everything ! So make sure it is roomy enough for the essentials, but not so big that she can't help but over fill it !

Payback At The Gym !

So for those of you who have asked how you can subscribe to the
blog via Twitter.

You can find me at Lara Livingstone@divasdelite.

To my most recent follower, a big hello from me and welcome to Divasdelite !

LMM was definitely back on form since our last meeting. She has been distracted from her men troubles by a troublesome tenant. Her flat was let via a letting agency to unfortunately, a con artist. He paid a one month's rent, one month's deposit up front and nothing since....its now been four months and he hasn't paid her a dime.

The law of course is an ass, because in the UK courts, if someone squats in your property, you can't remove them without obtaining a court order first for repossession of your own property...which is in a word crazy !

"I managed to get a court date, but until I get the actual repossession order sorted ,this guy is crippling me moneywise. Look at me! I'm so poor, I can't even afford to get my weave done. I'm like Beyonce without the hair - Defabulous!. How can I be my usual Superhero self without my hair!", moaned LMM.

The fact that LMM is like a pint-size Naomi Campbell in body and hair usually, but without her luscious locks now resembles a high school student, made me laugh. A lot.

I thought would make her laugh, but it didn't. I didn't realise how unfunny she thought it was, until she paid me back big time, when we were at the gym last night.

In a bid to shake my routine up, instead of my rather modest setting on the cross trainer. I set it to quick start. For the first fifteen minutes I was fine.

Then I hit 20 minutes and I kid you not, I felt like I was on the brink of heart failure. I struggled on, wondering how I had suddenly got so unfit and wishing I had eaten less at lunchtime.

Five minutes later, I was rescued by a laughing LMM. She helpfully pointed out that while I had my eyes closed trying to 'push through' the pain, (still pedalling in that frenzied way you do when you are trying finish a circuit in the gym), she had cheekily turned up cross training setting, from a reasonable 8 level to super human 18!

No wonder I needed emergency water supplies and a lie down at the end of my gym session!

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

It's That Time Of Year Again !

We have reached my non-favourite week of the year(well actually it probably ties with the run up to Christmas), the week leading up to Valentine's Day.

My relationship with Valentine's Day is about as dysfunctional and random as my dating history. I have never had a good Valentine's Day.

At school my super-size afro, national health glasses and puppy fat awkwardness, meant that I was as popular with boys, as a bout of chicken pox.

At college, the weight thankfully slowly fell off, but the awkwardness remained.

My conversations with boys, were usually punctuated with "ums", "really", "huh's" and very nervous laughter. Combined with my eclectic dress sense, which would have scared even the bravest fashionista.

Yes all of those vital BB elements, mixed in with the nervous energy of a Jack Russell, yapping furiously at the ankles of another much bigger dog, and it was no wonder no one was beating their way to my door.

Now as a grown up and having experienced quite a few lovelorn Valentine's Day, I have finally accepted that it's just not my day!

Even when I'm with someone, so my last 'coupled' Valentine's was with Mr Scotland, who's attempt at romance - flowers, which arrived half crushed via box courier, just as I was leaving an all nighter at work.

Unfortunately MS's offering, was overshadowed by flowers I'd received from the senior management team, for organising a 'team bonding' get together for them, that had arrived that morning.

Having acknowledged that very blunt hint, from the universe, that has been screaming so loudly at me, to abandon all expectations of any Valentine miracle,I have decided to use this week to treat myself.

Today is all about - Underwear Shopping !

Despite the fact that I currently don't have someone to "Dita Von Teese" my underwear at, it doesn't stop me spending quite a lot, on the sexiest part of my wardrobe.

For my male readers, I have to say if you are going to go underwear shopping for your other half, please buy it in the right size.

Make sure the lingerie you buy her is, just right side of cheeky, not tarty and that your special lady will actually want to wear it Here are my tips to getting it right!

Whether she's your wife or girlfriend, you should know her bra and brief size. Trust me, we always know all your measurements from top to bottom !!

To avoid the inevitable "she's about your size" moment, with the saleswoman in the lingerie department, check your w or gf's underwear drawer, or if you're a rubbish liar (which you may think is bad, but we women always think is good!)you can always hit the laundry basket (sly, but effective!)while she's not around and check her labels that way.

Red underwear underwear isn't classy. In fact it is rarely a good thing. In fact, and telling you totally like it is; it wouldn't be at the top of most women's list of lingerie must haves!!

Go for sheer black (practical but sexy!), black lace (totally sexy!) burgundy, naughty navy, emerald green and gorgeous greys.

If you are buying a full underwear set, buy her stockings and flowers too! Showing that level of thoughtfulness, I guarantee you, will land you some pretty big brownie points.

If you're really stumped, play the 'I love that shop' game - you tell her two shops you'd love to receive a gift from and ask her what hers are - again kinda shady - but trust me she'll love the fact that you've put some thought into her gift.

Although you may think that Valentine's Day is a jackpot day for greetings card industry, but for the less romantic of you, just for once make the effort and show your other half that you care !

Monday, 7 February 2011

The Grass Ain't Always Greener !

It seems that Ms Thang's move to her wonderful new job, hasn't gone quite as well as she hoped. She called J to catch up and prattled on like a duracell bunny let loose on a kids play mat.

In fact I've never heard her talk so much in the whole year I've known her. The problem is she has left our warm cosy nest to work with a "team of silent heads down robots".

Despite jetting around, reduced travel costs and a pay rise her stock has dropped. When she tries to talk to her new colleagues, she is shut down.

Then at home her other half (you remember the one who likes her to dress him, cook for him and make sure she tells him where she is at all times), doesn't want to talk to her either.

She sounded so pathetically grateful to talk to us all, we all felt really sorry for her.

All except Mr Mom who declared grumpily,

"I don't feel sorry for her at all and if she's that lonely, why doesn't she ever return my text messages?".

MM was besotted with MTg from the first moment he laid eyes on her. Unfortunately, the feeling wasn't mutual and MT aware of MM's crush took childish pleasure in teasing him, sometimes mercilessly.

He has never got over this and he couldn't hide the venom in his voice as he made his comment. I couldn't let it go.

"She didn't reply to your texts when she worked here. That's MTg. That's how she is. How about showing her a little compassion, since she's not happy".

MM attempted to stutter a response, but the rest of us talked over to him, reducing him to a pouty, grumpy mess.

We've all been in the job (or jobs)that initially offered us the world, but in reality offered little more than the realisation that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Broadband Woes !

So writing or should I say posting on the blog has been a real pain since Friday. My broadband has been down all weekend, which to a media junkie like me is liked being cut off from your daily dose of happy juice!

When I called the the emergency number I was told to go online for further assistance, which was of course impossible as my broadband was down!

Irritated? Yes I was! BT sort your customer service out with a degree of commonsense pretty please.

Thank God for my smartphone! I missed out on twittering about kerry katona's impression of a fake tanned orange on skates (yes, she was actually the shade of orange teak wood!)

It was so bad that she clashed with her bright baby doll outfit!) but oh how made me laugh out loud.

This week's going to be a big one as my boss is away getting married, but no one knows except me and my team.

There's clearly something in the air among my male friends this year, as this is the second 'secret wedding' I've been party to.

MF got married in secret at Christmas too. It was so secret that he only confirmed it, when I hurled in the bin. For the record, I am referring to when I was sick recently. I wasn't just over excited!.

It was I think his attempt to take my mind off feeling pants.

I told you he was real gentleman.

Saturday, 5 February 2011

The One In Paris

Sitting in the Premier lounge for the Eurostar train in Paris, I felt happy and spoilt. That luxurious sense of how the other half lives is certainly a feeling that left me feeling lucky!

I gave a two hour systems training session (unbeliveably everyone including me remained awake!), went to lunch at a particularly gorgeous restaurant and then in the Eurostar lounge, bumped sraight into a former colleague AH. We remincensed about old times. Things had changed so much since we last met.

The whole of my old department are either married, engaged or have children. In AH's department he's the only single one left and is now moving to Amsterdam with work and hopefully new chances of love.

It was heartening to hear all the news about everyone, particularly those long-term singletons who had finally found happiness after giving up all hope.

Desperate LM who threw herself at anyone (including famously, Tigger when LM was hammered at the annual conference and Tigger was just terrified!) is now married and has just had a baby.

Fussy F who rejected all comers especially the ultimate player - IT serial shagger (who persisted pursing F, the whole time I worked there), has just moved in with a long term friend who she always said no to, but ended up being her Prince Charming.

Even commitment phobic Mr Italy has finally moved in with his girlfriend - it only took him seven years !

Just me and AH left now. Ho hum !

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Chivalry and Bug Bears !

Can anyone tell me when did chivalry die? I'm being deadly serious. Has something happened to some men out there, who appear to lack this essential quality and don't have the self awareness to recognise this and address its absence.

I've always been a stickler for good manners. Perhaps because my Pop is such a gentleman, he even walks on the outside of me to shield me from kerb obstacles like cars who splash you.

Perhaps I've read too many books and watched way too many old Hollywood movies, where men opened doors and even stood up when a lady entered and left a room.

I love it when a guy orders for me (after consulting me first of course) at a restaurant or opens a car door for me. It's classy and it's those little things which make a woman feel special.

Either way I have certain etiquette expectations that I think men should adhere to:

1.If a pregnant woman is standing on the train in front of you, have the common decency to give up your seat, not raise your paper higher, so you can continue to pretend you haven't seen her.

2.Walking through a door before a lady is bad enough, but not holding the door for her after you barge through with your friends poor form. Thank you to the young man who noticed this and remarked to me "Some people just don't know how to treat a lady".

3.If a woman is seated at the head of the queue while waiting for a boat (moi), don't walk past her and stand at the front of the boat boarding gate - It is super rude and makes you look like a prat, particularly if you do it while look on the phone looking totally self important.

Fortunately the guy behind the prat, who was about to do the same thing, thought better of it looking at my face and gestured at me to get onboard ahead of him.
While I'm all riled up about chivalry, I don't think my annoyance is as as extreme as W's.

W is perennially hacked off about children on planes, trains and in automobiles (I couldn't resist that pun!).

W is the high achiever of our little coven. You know the friend with the dream career (in PR), perfect boyfriend (he loves her and is her chief cheerleader in whatever she does) who gets to travel regularly and looks incredible all the time.

I know we should all hate her, but on top of everything she is really lovely and very funny. W had just flown back from LA and called me yesterday, so we could catch up over dinner.

"BB honestly I am beginning to hate the travelling" she said.

This Friday, I am going on my first ever overseas business trip to Paris to train up one of our teams. To say I am excited is an understatement.

First it's Paris - Hooray! I know It's only short visit, but it is another step in the right direction for me to getting to where I want to be career wise and I get to check out new sexy hotels - something I am great at !

"Just enjoy it and remember how lucky you are cherub".

"Have you ever sat on a plane with screaming children?"

"Yes" I replied "But a) you hate children and b) you have to understand they aren't crying just to annoy you".

"It's easy for you to say Little Ms Sunshine. Children and babies love you. It's like you're a bloody child whisper! Well while you're connecting with them, I've decided my only comeback is to talk to their parents"

"What did you do?" I said smiling.

"Having put up with 4 hours of squawking from this child on the plane, I leaned in and said to his Mum 'Are you going to walk him up and down the aisle to shut him up, or do you want me to do it for you!"

"You didn't?" I said laughing out loud.

"I damn well did. The mum looked at me like I was some sort of ChildCatcher (dodgy character from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang), but she got up and walked that child rightaway!"

"Honestly, you must have scared the crap out of her. There are others ways to handle noisy children you know"

"The only other one I know, involves replacing their milk with a large gin and tonic to knock the little terrors out!"

I couldn't help but laugh, loudly.

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Holding Good Thoughts and A Plea

There's one thing that would make me mega happy yes you've guessed it, its another divasdelite rousing raise our blog traffic plea.

As you all know I started this blog to force me to be more disciplined with my writing,and as sanity check for my more crazy lovelorn moments (see 2009 and 2010 entries and doubtless 2011 will be more of the same!).

Also I wanted to connect with like minded people experiencing the same highs and lows that come from living our weird and wonderful lives.

This year I really want to push the word out about our little group here at divasdelite.

If you have friends, family, work colleagues or acquaintances who you think would enjoy reading the blog, or just like some of you have previously (and you have no idea how much I have appreciated your friendship and patience taking the time to do so), presented me with opposing points of view or challenged my wayward behaviour, then please send them the link and ask them to join the party just like you have.

I know all of you have the feeling just like me that 2011 is going to be a big year for us all !

I especially have my fingers crossed for T. My grumpy Polish builder returned from holiday in Egypt (miraculously just as the civil unrest kicked off!).

I am now over his shocking pre-Christmas bad humour and phoned to book him to work his magic on my kitchen.

I know he's super moody, but hell he is so damned good at what he does. I can forgive him for being a total diva sometimes. Takes one to know one right?

We pinned down the day (the week of my birthday - because a good kitchen is as good a birthday present to oneself as you can get) and then he tells me he has to go to hospital on Friday for tests on his chest.

I suddenly thought about his old school contempt for health and safety (he never wears a mask, despite working in all kinds of dust all the time), the fact that he used to smoke like a chimney and my heart sank.

I'm really worried about him. He works like a trojan now in his mid 60s (7am starts even on Saturday and none of the numerous tea breaks you usually expect from builders!), so goodness only knows how hard he has worked in his youth and what kind of damage he may have done to himself.

We talked for a while and I promised I would call him at the weekend to check on him, particularly since his wife is back home in Poland. I have everything crossed that he is going to be ok.

He's been a weird lucky charm for me since he came into my life, via a conversation with LMM. All the affection with which she spoke about him and what he'd done for her and her family, seemed to flow into me from the get go.

Everytime someone mentions they need something doing, I hand them his number. I think of him like an annoying uncle who drives you nuts. Also I trust him, even when he messes up, which is something I only ever do with family and very good friends.

I remember he just how much he hated all of the colour choices I made for the bathroom tiles and living room paint and then he didn't want to put the blinds up in the kitchen.

I didn't bat an eyelid telling him "That's what I want and what we are doing!" . Seriously though It was like arguing with a very stubborn bull ! Even now it makes me laugh thinking about his pained expression as he painted the living room !

He is easily as grumpy as my beloved Pop, but just as lovable and yet another reminder to me that life is short. Value it and your health too!

T's been lucky for me, so I hope I can return the favour by holding nothing but good thoughts for him. We'll see.