Friday, 30 April 2010

Ever had one of those days where the surprises just keep coming? My surprises began with yesterday with C’s big announcement, who then roared with laughter when I told him I would just have to follow him around like some lost puppy, for his last month at Chateau BB.

“Sounds scary, so you mean I’ll wake up and there you’ll be sitting on end of my bed all Fatal Attraction like!” he said grinning. “And to think I was actually worried up how to tell you I was leaving. I knew you’d be happy for me, but you can be a proper little Diva sometimes”

“You’re such a soppy bugger! Besides I’ve got a whole month left to bug you and if I really want to have some fun, we can always just sit down and watch the last episode of ER again and I can watch you hold the tears back” I replied, laughing as he looked at me sheepishly then at his shoes.

Today I met up with Big D for coffee. He is one of my favourite partners in mischief and of course he didn’t disappoint. He cracked me up from the moment I launched myself at him on the street for a full on bear hug.

He looks a….mazzzing, after his recent jaunt to South Africa and one week before he leaves for Thailand. His time away has mellowed him out even more than usual and he definitely has a good hold of what he wants from life. I see nothing but good things ahead for him.

Despite a cull of the bevy of lovelies he has been dallying with, Big D is the type of chap who never likes to let down a friend. If a good friend happens to suggest and steer him towards a potential playmate who he might have something in common with, he is a guy who can’t say no!

When they finally met, the hot playmate who turned out to be a ‘separated’ basket case, on the edge of a breakdown, her opening totally unsexy line was “I nearly didn’t come!” – tanking any hope of a successful meeting or hook up within the first seconds. Later, instead of taking up her teasing offer of a shared taxi ride home, he kissed her goodnight and got his own cab home.

What was the playmate’s crime….playing cold, then hot, then cold, then hot, having already confused things before they actually met in person with a flurry of cheeky text messages – if only she has seen SW on Tough Love!

The moral of this tale is that we women often complain about guys playing games, not knowing what they want, but we can be just as guilty of exactly the same vice. Nice work Big D – see what you can do when you try !!

Back at my desk, just as I settled down to a pile of work, I was taken into an office by a colleague, who sprung the welcome welcome surprise of a very exciting opportunity (remember nothing is solid in work until its signed off - Diva’s Rule 109!.).

I could just about contain my excitement when I cam out of the office, so I looked down at the floor all the way back to my desk and started typing furiously.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, 29 April 2010

All Change At Chateau BB

Change keeps coming in my life and instead of running from it, I'm welcoming all these 'little' surprises as so far this year, only good stuff has happened because of them.

C and I have just finished hugged it out...why... because he's moving out..sob! He originally moved in as a two month stop gap having got totally fed up with looking for a studio of his own. 7 months later and he's still at mine and what a learning curve it's been for me.

Initially I resented having him around....stupid I know, as I invited him to move in and his monthly rent came in handy. I realised I was really possessive of my space, my loud and quiet times and those weird habits I've acquired from living alone since I moved out of home at 17.

On top of that I was so preoccupied with fighting HWMBO from all fronts and keeping myself from going crazy, that I didn't really try to get to know him. Something which I am still guilty of with people I don't know, but I am working hard to get better at.

Just before the blowout with HWMBO though, we hung out and I found out what a cool, funny, quirky guy he is. When hurricane HWMBO hit hard, C was great, totally on my side, a ray of positivity and my very own home team cheer squad.

I'm going to miss having him around, but as I've learnt everything happens for a reason and who knows who might be the next person through my door. If it turns out half as well C, then I'm going to be very lucky indeed!


I just wanted to say thanks for the warm wishes left in your comments about this posting. You have no idea how much I appreciate them, along with the honesty and commonsense you regularly impart to me.

However, remember one of the many sensible things I have learnt since I started this blog, which has taught me more about myself and my over long list of flaws and self delusions, is that you can't fit a square into a triangle.

If you don't feel that special way about somebody, however, great they may be then you can't make believe yourself into a relationship with them and make it work. Sure it's a beautiful fairytale, but not one, that will end happily ever after.

I know. I've deluded myself like that, a few more times than I care to mention. Nothing beats finding someone who is as out and out nuts about you, as you are about them.

Someone who is your best buddy. Someone who makes you laugh about the most stupid thing ever. Somebody who puts you first. Your very own No. 1 cheerleader. Someone who absolutely has your back all the time.

And above all, someone who has the balls to be strong with you, even when you are flat out wrong and still loves you in spite of it. That for me is the "real deal" man I'm looking for and trust me, there are rare men like that out there.

The real fairytale is making that great relationship work. Being honest, trusting your partner, not cheating on them or taking them for granted and realising every day, even when things are going bad, how damned lucky you are to have that person in your life.

C and I will always be and I know it sounds cheesy "just good friends" - so sorry to disappoint you guys, but there's no fairytale here, just a great friendship that I'm really lucky to have.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

If At First You Don't Succeed, Pick Yourself Up And Try Again!

As you know I've been freelancing since the end of January. It's been ok, but it has reinforced my belief that if you don't love what you do on the work front, it doesn't matter whether you're permanent or freelance, you'll always have that niggling feeling that there must be bigger and better opportunities out there for you.

Having managed to successfully avoid her, I have unearthed yet another career girl harpy. She is a PA (God aren't they always....when will bosses learn that you should promote your PA sometime, to ensure they doesn't become the frustrated monster in the office).

This young lady was caught up in the volcanic ash chaos and consequently I ended up covering for her - no strain for me and it was nice to be top dog for a week. Problem is now she's back, she's under the impression that I'm her assistant for good!.

Historically, this an unwise assumption for anyone to make about me, since I always have a way, be it directly or undercover to teach them that one-off lesson, that demonstrates that this is not the case however, hard they have tried to convince themselves of it.

Handing her boss's expenses me to do instead of her, I innocently asked.

"When do you need them by?" (Diva's Rule 56 - never alert your prey to the fact that you are about to take them out).

"Close of play today", she barked back.

"I have GM's expenses to do already, three months worth" I replied, expecting her to be sensible.

"I really do need them" she replied snappily.

Needless to say I haven't touched them and she hasn't mentioned them. Definitely not life or death then.

I know, that's another pet hate of mine. Why do we bang on about needing something urgently, or someone has to do something like yesterday, when a lot of the time, it really isn't.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Wannabe Be A Beauty Queen?

First I have to give a massive shout out to my holler back girl JC who completed the London Marathon, her first, in an incredible 4 hours, 14 minutes on Sunday. Just want to say how proud I am of you girlfriend.

Next, my topic for today is pageants…..LMM is taking part in Ms Caribbean Queen otherwise known as manna to write about for someone like me, who has never understood the mystical appeal of walking up and down in smiling in a swimsuit, before telling the world that you want to work with starving children and that you love animals.

To be fair LMM isn’t things seriously, well not too seriously. She’s brought the evening wear dress (stunning golden green a mere £180.00), written about her region and why she wants to win, as well as spending hours practising for her two minute interview and then Q and A section which rounds off the competition.

Over the weekend she has undergone a hair makeover (she when from black to copper highlights aka Beyonce a snip at £320), ensuring that win or lose as she told me “I look hot for the summer!”, hand and feet rejuvenation (manicure and pedicure) and deportment instruction (not walking like a crab sideways !!).

As I left work today she was at the end of her tither, trying to arrange for the express delivery of her evening wear gown. The mere thought of its not being delivered on time, had her jabbering on about 'crap customer service'.

It seems this beauty gig is an expensive game with no guaranteed pay-off,so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she bags the title and the luxury all expenses paid holiday. Goodness knows she'll need it!

Thursday, 22 April 2010

The World Is Full of Delectable Divorced Men and....Their Children!

As you might have guessed my conversation with E didn't end there...

…….“I know, but I really want your opinion on this, you’ve been there. You remember when you dated T for a while. He was divorced with kids wasn’t he?”.

Hell yes I remember him. T was a hot mess crazy Irish man, a property developer with taste (sorry to press the Irish stereotype button), for alcohol which I have never seen surpassed.

Regardless, of his various complications and in a strange way, because of them, we clicked. All was going well until one of his kids flicked the brat switch and decided it was time to break us up; something which he did routinely to any woman who dated his Dad.

This kid played every trick in the book and won hands down. He had guilt-tripping down to an art-form, unleashing his ‘craft’ whenever we had something planned like a mini-break or a quiet night in. He was a graduate in emotional blackmail, fighting at school, stroppy behaviour, sulking….actually that was just him being a pre-teen.

Even then, I could see his point of view - he wanted his Mum and Dad to get back together - and why he was being such a pain - for attention and because I fronted him about it. He smirked and rather chillingly told me I wouldn’t last long and hell the kid was as good as his word !

I did my best, but during one of our numerous ‘let’s make this work' chats with his Dad, sanity took hold of me and I sensibly (I know hard to believe me be sensible in a dating scenario!) broke it off with him.

Not because I was scared of the situation, when I’m into someone I give a 120%, which isn’t really necessary all the time – see I am learning at last. I love kids. His daughter and I got on like a house on fire, but trying to deal with his son who acted like he hated me every time we were together (I nicknamed him 666!)was just too much.

Once I’d taken off my rose coloured specs and could see the world in black and white again, I had to acknowledge several inescapable facts.

A lot of divorced guys swear blind they will never marry again, so traumatised are they by the loss of their children, money and lifestyle. Ignore this type of talk at your peril!

With their children – going from seeing them daily to trying to pack five days living into action packed weekend moments is pretty much impossible. If your Mr Divorced has very limited time with his children, then including the distraction and division of attention of him trying to include you in that time, can be pretty messy!

Next, there’s the economic/lifestyle impact of a divorce, this can hit some men really hard financially. Just think about it, MD had finally landed his dream house, job, car, membership to the golf club (optional, dependant on age and competitive sporting/network instinct!), then one decree nisi later and all that goes out the window.

MD has to start over, but this time if his relationship works out, he will end up paying for two households for the feasible future.

Let’s not forget as well, that some guys are also adamant that they don’t want any more children, which is cool if you are a bright young thing when you are dating MD, but if you’ve reached the age where your fertility rating is dive bombing by the hour, that’s got to be a deal breaker.

There’s one more cold, but true factor you have to acknowledge, when you are dating DM with kids. This is something that particularly affects you, if you are new to the situation; also it’s what I told V, even though I know she didn’t want to hear it.

“ The child or children will and should always come first. That’s part and parcel of being a parent. You should ever forget that, particularly if your DM a great parent. If you ‘join’ a family as a third wheel, don’t expect to be treated like you were there at the beginning".

"That family unit has history and you aren’t a part of it. Also, if you are expecting your guy to ‘man up’ and lay down the law with his children, who he is already feeling guilty about leaving because for the divorce; if he is such an amazing Dad, like you say he is, he isn’t going to risk alienating his children by taking sides with you. After all you’ve been in his life for what... four months!".

"Until he’s comfortable and ready to commit to you long-term, which means big stuff like working out the relationship between you, his kids, his ex-wife; all of that stuff, then a third wheel is exactly what you are and will remain as”.

E paused then answered, “So you think I should call it off?"

“That's not what I said". I replied "It’s not about what I think, it’s about what you do. Whatever you decide, it will be the right thing. You have to trust yourself”.

Isn't it funny how we all end up with this trunk full of gold life experiences, that we can pull little nuggets from and pass onto others. All we are ever required to do, if asked, is to pass that experience on without judgement. I’ll hold a good thought for E, because she’s fallen hard for MD, which only complicates things further.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Catching Up

Had a great evening catching up with friends. First up was A, who I've just about got used to not sharing a daily latte moment with. Luckily for me I can get me A fix, next week at F's leaving do. Can't wait as it means guaranteed mischief.

Next, was Big D who's finally back in the country after an extended jaunt breaking even more hearts around the world. He was his usual cheeky self, the banter flowed and God it's good to have him back! We're meeting up next week and I'm already grinning at the thought of it.

A surprise email from WS means that I am now looking forward to our dinner in the next few weeks. I haven't seen him for ages so we are going to have heaps to catch up on.

One of the only advantages of being a long-term singleton is that friends frequently come to you for dating advice. Whether this is entirely wise bearing in mind your single status, is an irony not wasted me.

When E called she was a little shaky. She can't make up her mind whether to continue dating B who is divorced with two boys.

Her main problem, apart from a pathological terror of children, is the fact that her fear of them has been reinforced by the efforts of the older son. He 'hates' her and doesn't mind telling her regularly and is an accomplished row maker - these are usually between her boyfriend and her over his son.

"You're not going to listen to whatever I say. I mean look at N, now he was a die-hard jackarse, but you wouldn't listen, so just for once, I'm keeping quiet".

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

What Happens Next

After the honeymoon is over and real life kicks in (of course I'm not talking about me), but I'm referring to my latest guilty pleasure 'Tough Love'.

After a two hour season finale, I was left momentarily elated until an internet update brought me down to earth with a bump.

8 ladies came to the show 'looking' for love - quite ironic really since as a singleton, your 'happily married' or living with someboy friends never stop banging on about, love finding you when you least expect it so just stop looking !

If that truly the case.... I wouldn't be able to move for admirers!

In the recap at the end of the show, just one lady was still seeing her match - how fickle we women can be....I know pot calling the kettle black right?

Monday, 19 April 2010


I thought the Dunkirk spirit was alive and well, but over the last four days I have been amazed at the attitudes of some of my work colleagues, stranded abroad due to the volcanic cloud, which is currently holding the world's air passengers to ransom.

I have clicked into my inbox and found gems such as these:

"Can you get me on the 7:00, I want a window seat and can you book me a smoking room".

"I know you're probably busy, but can you just find out whether I can get a limo from my hotel to the office".

"My husband's assistant is off and I was wondering if you could help him out with booking some flights".

"I've just heard that Glasgow is open, can you get me on a flight tomorrow".

No matter how many times I told them there are no airplanes, I cannot specially charter a plane exclusively for them; most have decided to ignore me and the latest information I have at my fingertips.

Even the team PA who lucked out and got to go on an overseas conference reccie, suddenly now feels she can't pick up a telephone herself to our travel provider, despite the fact that I am dealing with multiple requests for travel assistance and updates.

She knows all the systems/procedures and telephone numbers I do, but has concluded that emailing me with a list of the team's daily demands would be a much better use of her time.

On receipt of my fourth email from her today, I bluntly responded.

"Hi J, just a suggestion, as I've already been holding on the phone for an hour and 15 minutes to talk to our travel agents so far, and would hate to get through without dealing with all your three previous emails and two voicemail messages at the same time. Do you have anything else you need to know?"

She took the hint and wisely decided not to send another bloody email.

Friday, 16 April 2010

What's In A Name

If there’s one bug bear that drives me nuts apart from….well let’s not go into the others as the list is way too long…’s people who spell my name wrong. Grr…I am one of those lucky people with short name, which is so simple my friends’ infants can remember how to spell it.

Yet time and time again on emails and on my post at home, I get variations on its spelling that muse me. I thought I was the only crazy with this ‘spell my name right or else affliction”, until my conversation with V today.

V is one of my current favorites (I am favourite fickle!) at work. She’s a smart-witted, bookish girl next door type, complete with horned rimmed specs and lovely smile; who occasionally exhibits the all out grumpiness of a senior citizen whose domino night has been cancelled.

As one of the visiting IT team strolled by enroute to the coffee machine she exclaimed.

“I can’t stand him”

“Why” I said surprised at the venom in her voice. “He didn’t look like public enemy number one to me”.

“He’s the one I was telling you about. He always, always spells my name wrong”. I nodded empathetically.

“My name’s on my email, spelt correctly, he must email me about 2 or 3 times a week and every time he spells it wrong or calls me my full name – only my Mum does that when she’s annoyed with me”.

“And let me guess because he keeps messing up your name he is now in your bad books”.

“You said it. BB It really, really bugs me!”

“Why don’t you have it out with him. You know sit him down and gently tell him, he’s a dead man if he spells it wrong again. Throw in a withdrawal of your labour and emergency help and hey presto!”

“That's a brilliant idea, strike action I like that”, she said turning tail and marching back towards her desk and the poor IT guy.

London may be covered in a cloud of volcanic ash shutting down our airspace, like in some big budget disaster movie, but nothing is quite so scary as a woman on the warpath.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

I Need Tough Love

I am in love… I haven’t finally find ‘a keeper’ or brought a cat (but never say never on that one!)….but I have been seduced by Tough Love – a very crappy, but strangely compelling VHI dating show – my new guilty pleasure after Charm School which is super trashy and hilarious.

Hosted by a very enthusiastic all American guy – Steve Ward – who the announcer manages to make sound like he was introducing a dating superhero in the show titles. He is tall, dark, sort of handsome, has a mega watt smile, guns of steel (either that or he is wearing his shirts too tight) and having told the various ladies on the show off for their crazy behaviour, he just loves to hug it out with them to mark the end of hostilities. If only life was that simple.

In each show, SW (he is so alpha male, I have to abbreviate him to two letters instead of my usual one) doles out dating advice to 8 desperate women who have been dubbed by him names like Ms Fatal Attraction, Ms Bridezilla, Little Ms Weird etc. The show, aside from being super obvious in a lot of what he says, Rule No 1 is Don’t Be Weird – well that rules me and quite a few other women out from the get go!

The show is actually a real eye opener especially if you are female. The host gives women an insight into how guys really think, by providing them with brutally honest feedback from the guys they have just met. All of the guys were super hot of course….so American…and ice cold when they are picking the ladies faults apart! I actually cringed at how dark some of their responses were.

I laughed out loud when SW took his first combative strike against the women by confiscating their phones. Why – well to to physically cut them off from contacting toxic exs, making drunken booty call moment and to hail their new ‘clean’ dating lives, they were encouraged to fill their new phones, with the numbers of all true men instead, of course.

Next SW gave the ladies a boot camp in text etiquette and in the space of 2 minutes took away one of my primary joys, when I am at the beginning of whatever it is you call the latest mess I find myself in with current man I’m interested in.

As you all know I loooove to text. If they’re cheeky ones then that’s all the better, because they leave a big grin on my face and encourage mischievous BB to come out fingers drumming on my mobile phone keyboard, as if my life depended on it and only to get all hot and bothered waiting for a response. But ladies, beware for I have learnt that texting can have two separate meanings for a man and a woman.

Women love texting because we think we are bonding with our men somehow, building our connection with them. That’s our guy and he is making time to text us! Women are also more likely to send drunk midnight caller messages – come on own up, you know you’ve done it! Women come into their own as we then torture ourselves when we don’t get a speedy response or worse of all no response.

Now men are far more practical. Men text when they are definitely interested, bored (R used to text me during his weekly Marketing Sales meetings), while they are at work or out with their friends (n fact sometimes they text you so they can show it to their friends – you have been warned!), curious, horny or just want to move things on a little bit to the good stuff!

“Rule 98 – Text on a Need to Know Basis only” boomed SW giving some great examples to accompany the rule…

”I’m running late”

“I’ve booked the restaurant”

“I’m married". (Always take note of that one ladies!)

Yes, proof positive indeed from SW who beamed brightly having highlighted the real gulf in thinking between the sexes.

No more texting from me? – tick – for about 24 hours, no I mean minutes….oh who am I kidding…..seconds !!

New Order

They say the pathway to enlightment just like those New Year resolutions that last oh all of two minutes are paved with good, but very disposable intentions.

After a blistering start to the year (at one point I really was wondering what else could go hideously wrong or what other problem would turn up on my doorstep for me to deal with!) I seem to have veered off into the abyss known as getting by or as I like to call it BB off the radar. I gave myself a good talking to and now I’m back on track.

The first thing I did was to go back to the List (you remember the one I began at the beginning of the year covering all my goals for the 2010) and reviewed my progress.

• Top of the list - Leave HWMBO – tick (Although I hated the way things panned out – OMG – I am so much happier now! Sorry M, keeping my fingers crossed for you that you will be following me out the door soon as!).

• Be more honest with myself – work in progress – just like the rest of the world, its super hard being real with yourself and those around you all the time. In fact sometimes it’s just plain draining.

A lot of the time now I find myself really holding back, mindful of the impact of my words and actions in the past and not wanting to go through the same old patterns again.

• Saying No is sooo cool ! – tick – being nice is one thing, being a doormat, well and truly in my past. The awful realisation that nice girls finish last (truly they do, unless they have a line in the sand they won’t let you cross and if you do they reserve the right to kick your arse and cut you off – well I do anyway!) hasn’t meant the end of my world and people suddenly thinking I’m being a cow (well I hope not!).

Actually it’s opened me up to looking after my goals and objectives ahead of everyone else’s all the time. Sometimes you really can be so reasonable that people take the total P with you – because you let them over and over again. Yes, it’s pretty obvious what I’m talking about with that one right?

• Stop trying to justify or understand the truly unexplainable – massive tick - I’ve spent a lot of energy puzzling out why people behave in the crazy ways they do. Bearing in mind most of my actions have all the logic of snail trying to climb back into someone else’s shell, sometimes you just have to let things go and leave the past in the past. Reasoning with ghosts is what crazy people do!

• Meet somebody – on ice – if it ain’t happening, it ain’t happening – I’m sure I can continue to find men to send running for the hills VB ! Loving your positivity there, that’s is of course you are still reading the blog – I would miss you if you didn’t, really I would!

Seriously, currently have 3 irons in the fire - all in the friend zone – which is a darn sight less complicated than hitting the love train, with birds singing and impending doom around the corner. Have decided to hold fire with a more in-depth status update on the boys, until things get a little….arh…..warmer! Who knows maybe I’ve finally cracked it…now that really would be something to write about !

• New adventures – work in progress – I booked my trip to Miami and Cuba – can’t wait !

• Change my gym routine – tick - changing it up is really working for me, I’m doing something every day, but always different.

• Don’t procrastinate – work in progress - I can turn the simplest task into a mammoth project, just because I won’t deal with things when they happen. Thinking is all well and good, but action can actually nip problems in the bud sometimes.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Bathing Beauty

It looks like I’ve finally found someone to make all my bathroom dreams come true. After experiencing the lows of quotes so high, that I needed to re-read them several times over, just to ensure that I hadn’t somehow ordered the designer option on everything from floor tiles to taps.

Then the disappointment of finding my initial favourite is actually a tad work-shy – he kept pushing back the start date, and telling me to relax, everything will get done in due course and repeatedly failing to produce a formal quotation or schedule of works despite three requests from me.

By sheer luck, I managed to have locate a true DIY diamond - (as are all men who can DIY - why are there so few of you around?) – my friend’s Dad. I was a little she promptly produced her Dad’s business card.

He popped round yesterday and less than 24 hours later I have received the most reasonable quote of the lotm together with a schedule of works and start date of my choice not his, which also includes fitting a new flat roof - no more Christmas Day bathroom leaks!

I’m a very happy bunny and a happy BB can only mean one thing……I am ready for a little mischief. I must give A a call!

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Say What!

Sometimes through the eyes of others we are faced with and recognise the flaws of faults we repeatedly refuse to acknowledge in ourselves.

"So how was your weekend ?” I said to LMM after the bliss of an extended Bank Holiday weekend. “Lovely” she said smiling at me dreamily.

“Argh, I’m really glad to hear that after you were so gloomy last week” I answered.

“Well I sort of have a confession to make”, she said winching almost as if she knew what was coming. “I spent it with S and we had a lovely time. Don’t give me that look, I just figured better the devil I know”, she said throwing in puppy dog eyes, In the hope that I wouldn’t be too hard on her.

Now as we know I have been accused of being harsh and judgemental (a favour term that VB has thrown at me!) often with very little to go on. While I’ll put my hands up to doing it sometimes (we all do), I would say that sometimes my gut is spot on. However, I have recently graduated from the school of not saying what I mean all of the time no matter what!

“I’m not going to tell you off, because it’s your choice, your decision; but I will be hear to pick up the pieces when it all goes tits up” I said, ending my oracle prediction with a mega watt smile.

“Thanks BB” , said LMM “I’d thought you’d go nuts at me”. “No not at all cherub” I replied. "Trust me you could fill buckets with the tears and mistakes I've made with men. You are just going to have to learn the hard way or at least until you learnthe rules of love"

"So what are these rules of love then you smart arse" said LMM smirking

"You'll be the first to know when I find out!" I replied. "Perhaps we should discuss them over a latte".

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Don't P On Me and Tell Me It's Raining !

There are regular moments in a diva’s life when standing up for yourself isn’t just about having an attitude, it’s more a case of applying common sense to a situation and being truly amazed when that the other party involved doesn’t see things the same way you do!

Take recruitment agencies (or not if you don’t have to use them!)I have been employed for the past few months as stand-in for a PA whiz who's been off sick. She is now back (although about to go off again to have another surgery,hence my requested continuing presence as her back-up - an unusual role for me!) and we are currently enjoying the dodgy delights of job-sharing, something which is slowly but surely driving me mad.

While she has rightfully returned to the lion-share of the role, I have been relegated to being a bit-player, picking up drips and draps of 'office stuff', degenerating daily, to varying degrees of administrative boredom, before reaching today's rock bottom - a day spent by me photocopying year end budget reports for a board meeting. hell on earth!

When I was told of the original job-sharing plan, I immediately contacted my boy wonder agent and told him firmly to find me something else pronto, as the reality of my workaholic self being able to job share with a mini-me almost as controlling (workwise only!) as me, was about as likely as my being quiet for longer than 10 minutes!

His response was to tell me to 'Wait and see' - the cop out of someone isn't too keen about rocking the boat and seeing what happens or a parent trying to avoid a tantrum at the checkout, when they say no to that second packet of Haribo's which has mysteriously appeared in the shopping trolley having been ejected previously.

So three weeks on, I called him today and reiterated my message in even more blunt terms.

"I am so over this situation. You need to get me out of here and find me something else please. I told you what was going to happen and right now I'm living it and I don't like it!"

"Have you tried talking to HR?" he simpered patronizingly.

I controlled the urge to tell him exactly what I thought of that particularly useless suggestion. Just what did he think they would be able to do - somehow magic me up a job, after already telling me when I met with them one week into my work assignment, that there was a recruitment freeze on.

A little nugget of information that boy wonder had conveniently forgotten all about, despite my having told him during one of our scintiliating weekly updates.
"Perhaps I could talk to them for you? Let them know how concerned you about the situation?". I responded.

"You haven't thought about that properly have you?" I replied. "Right now everything is ticking over nicely for them workwise, so if I were them and you spoke to me,I'd say it's been lovely having BB here, but if that's the way she feels then we wish her well in her next role. Good work, but you've already said you need time to find me something else, so just why would I let you talk me out of a job before finding me another?".

"Oh", he replied as the penny finally dropped. Which sums up my feelings about my experience with recruitment agencies, they are invariably on the side of their clients, wanting to maintain ongoing revenue stream from them, despite trying to reassure their temp workers that the opposite is true.

I put the phone down, updated my speculative cover letter, printed off some more cv's and popped them in the post on my way home. Fingers crossed !!

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Life On Mars !

If there's one thing that unifies us other than work, bad dancing, money (or the lack of it!), family and still reading the horoscopes of our ex's, its our love lives in whatever state they are in.

Tonight after work, I hooked up with resident good guy SC and Little Miss MatchMaker (LMM). Before I could even finish taking the first sip from my glass LMM launched into her latest dating disaster.

First she stunned us with a blast from the past dating story of how after living with her boyfriend for two years, she came face to face with his other girlfriend and their baby (!), innocently in the lift on the way up to the flat she shared with him.

Her boyfriend's 'rabbit in the headlights' look, when he opened the front door to both lucky ladies, was worthy of only one response from LMM, which made us laugh our socks off, as LMM never lowers herself to ghetto talk - "You motherfucker!"

Roll the dice forward two years to now and she has just found out that her executive chef boyfriend is cheating on her with an ex. One confrontation, one empty box of condoms retrieved from the bathroom bin and a three way Anglo-French screaming match later and here she was in front of us, on the verge of tears, finding scant comfort in the depths of a large glass of red.

"Why does it always happen to me?" she whined, between sipping her wine and blowing her nose with increasing force and determination.

"Cherub, you just need to choose a little better", I said surprising myself with the empathetic wisdom only a serial disaster dater can conjure up.

"Be honest with yourself. You have a type - the bad boy/cheating scumbag type. No matter how many times you go for it, the result will always be the same. Denials from them, so good that you think you're going mad with your suspicions; and ultimately heartbreak for you. Wake up. You don't have to go there. Why put yourself through it. Give yourself a break, hang out with your friends. Forget about men for awhile and I promise you things will get better" .

She smiled and went back to the bar to order another glass of wine. While she was doing that, I was wondering when I'd turned into my mum !