Saturday, 19 November 2011

All Change

First I have to start with the ridiculous. A piece of celebrity trivia I am party to. Yesterday I bumped into Rihanna's new boyfriend in the a queue (so typically English!)

He was outrageously handsome, but not so much so that I didn't get my words out and chat with him while we were waiting to be served. I am happy to say he was charming and has a smile that very nearly left me floored !

Being an averagely attractive (my fabulousity varies in accordance with how how well I've applied my make-up and sleep !), I've always been freaked out truly beautiful people. It's as if they're alien beings from planet beautiful and if you look at them too long, you'll be hit by the ugly stick, for your viewing insolence.

Then there's R...yep we've hit two and a half weeks of dating. Something of a landmark for a non-dating buzz kill like myself. He's smart, funnish and polite and has absolutely no issues sending random text messages, which I find so refreshing.

He even calls me just for the hell of it for a chat and tells me what he's up to. It's so easy with him and just what I've been waiting for really.

I'm seeing him again tomorrow and have already broken the news to him, that although dinner will be great and he's welcome to stay over(he lives out in the sticks!), he will be on the sofa and will without a doubt confronted by my housemate in her dressing gown, first thing on Monday morning.

If he's willing to take on all of the above, then he is a brave man indeed !

On the work front - the gig is over...due to creative differences...I've always wanted to say that!

Actually, I was 'offered' an opportunity that wasn't actually ever an opportunity, aside from some free ideas labour of course.

The one thing I've learnt in this recession is people love to take from you and if they can get it for free all the better.

Fortunately, I had more work lined up which I started this week. The hours are brutal. I have no energy left most of the time to think, let alone talk, but I do feel there is an opportunity if I use my noodle to turn things to my advantage for a change.

What's comes next is up to moi !

Saturday, 12 November 2011

In the Green Zone

It's not often I write about a date a few days after, but this one was a good one and what's followed it has been even better. For our first date R took me to the theatre.

R is completely the opposite to what I usually go for and as my dating track records is shocking, I agreed to go out with him and have somehow found myself in the green zone or as I like to call it - dating without drama !

He's fortysomething, in good shape, has a shaved head and a very cheeky smile. He laughs at his own jokes just a little too long, but hey it's hardly a deal breaker ! I regularly think I'm hysterically funny, even more so when I'm not and am just being a smart arse !

Before the date he texted to reconfirm it - which basically makes him a prince among dating men as far as I'm concerned.

Then he texted on the day, to ask me how my day was and to apologise because he was running five minutes late.

He arrived laden down with a laptop and a gym bag and looking very flustered, but took charge picking up the tickets. One glass of wine later and we were settling into our seats then the musical (one guilty pleasure that everyone should have!) started. It was awesome and so was his company.

We left the theatre too late to go for another drink, so we parted company at the tube with a suitably chaste kiss. As I walked through my front door he texted

"Hope you got home safety, let's meet up one evening next week. Sleep well xx"

I'm seeing him next Friday. Things haven't been this easy with a date in ages...fingers crossed :0)

Saturday, 5 November 2011

London Calling

I must admit I was a little surprised to read about the online buzz surrounding The Wire and Luther star Idris Elba dating - shock, horror, a white woman !

Here in UK, particularly in London, or as I like to call it 'Europe's Favourite Melting Pot', bi-racial dating really isn't that big of a deal, especially when we compare ourselves to say our US cousins.

Even as I write this post in my favourite coffee shop, I have just watched two mixed race babies, glide by in their pushchairs and just opposite sits a stunning sister with her very happy looking white boyfriend.

I've always adopted and throughly enjoyed the United Nations approach to dating - It's not about my love interest's colour, it's about their personality and attitude, their brains (I adore smart sexy!) and of course how they treat me.

I've never had an issue with the dating colour chart. In fact my only issue has been my own slightly dubious taste in men. Strong confident men with brains and a little hint of the bad boy about them.

All of which ensures when my sporadic love life does flicker into existence, the flames maybe short-lived, but at least things are never boring !

For me a guy's personality is 100% unique and not determined by something as cut and dried as his skin tone. Which leads me uncomfortably into the reason why Idris has taken this virtual battering - jealousy.

For a British black actor to succeed in the UK market is rare. Multiply that 10 fold, to achieve and maintain it in the US market. I can only think of about three others who have done so and two are women.

Idris is not just a talented actor, he is ridiculously handsome on a scale, where the clamour to get with or 'own' a piece of him must be more than a little overwhelming.

The backlash he has experienced is not completely unexpected. I've experienced first-hand 'dirty looks' from the hood and been dropped into the dead zone, by someone I considered a friend, over my dating preferences before.

It happened a few years ago, when I was enjoying an evening with the girls. Somehow we got on to the topic of bi-racial dating and one of group launched into a rant about white guys, needing to tick off the dated a black woman box and ultimately treating them without respect.

I was at the time in the midst of a very happy long-term relationship with a US born Greek Adonis who treated me like gold. I cautioned her to not make such judgemental statements, and that until she was in at the deep end, I could only her deem her as being ignorant of the reality of being in a bi-racial relationship.

The next morning I thought we had agreed to disagree, until that evening when I got a phone call from my BFF, who told me 'my friend' had uninvited me to her birthday party, because she felt disrespected. Up to this day we don't speak.

Was she entitled to her opinion..of course. Was it extreme... yes I believe it was...but that's her problem, not mine. Which is precisely why I salute Idris for his talent, achievements and just doing his thing...regardless of the haters.

Alas there is so little of the divine Idris to go round already, that in the absence of a clone of him, I am going to have to content myself with watching The Wire boxset again :0)

Friday, 4 November 2011

Tanked, but Optimistic

The worst is over.

Mum has finally been released from hospital and we're both thankful and relieved that despite, the initial health concerns, she doesn't have the big C.

F told me off for not telling him about it, but then conceded he wasn't surprised, as he knows me so well. If I have major stuff going on, I'd rather hold my own counsel and get through it.

I'm definitely not a sharer on serious stuff, which is weird as so many people come to me when their shit hits the fan. It's always easier dealing with other people's problems than your own though right?

On the work front it was a no, after 3 weeks on the big pitch. They finally came back with that on Wednesday.

There was clearly other factors involved I'm unaware of (budget, change of resource requirements etc), but dwelling on them really won't get me anywhere.

The music project I've been working on is however, finally green lit and work starts in earnest next week, which should keep me out of mischief and keep the wolf from my door :0)

It's going to be challenging, as some of my duties I have never done before, so I will be flying by the seat of my pants...but I do love a splash of pressure and a deadline or two to scare the crap out of me !

My lesson from all of my issues(five months worth and counting!) is to realise the world doesn't begin and end with work.

For all my years as this striving, assertive career woman, I really don't have a great deal materially to show for it, so maybe its about time I centred on going after what I really want.

Serenity - in life and work, doing what I love and spending time with people I adore.

A mentioned Christmas again. I admire her persistence to try to make me abandon my hatred of Christmas (I totally ignore it on every level) and take an annual off the radar week from Christmas Eve onwards, which I always spend alone at home, having dropped off family presents.

I didn't bother going into the ins and outs with her, because she like my other friends already knows how and why I feel that way, respect that I don't want to talk about it ever. Regardless, it was sweet of her to invite me to hers.

My favourite place at the moment is the gym. It's not about the body beautiful, it's about my time. I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to, I just pop in my headset and run or row away to wherever I want.

I'm a bit of a brooding diva at the moment, which actually means I'm quiet ! Really its just me working things through in the best way I know.