Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Cornwall Day 1

I'm in love. Yes I did utter the word love however, sadly my new love affair is not with a tall dark, handsome stranger, but with a place - Cornwall !

While I was there I didn't have wifi access, so here as a way of you catching up with me is the first of my Cornwall Postcards.

All Aboard!

There's something totally cool about actually having something to say when someone says,

"What are you up to over the Bank Holiday". I yelled out loudly.

"I'm going to Cornwall" to anyone silly enough to ask me and then proceeded to show them my complete Cornish schedule as prepared by Lolo.

We took the sleeper from Paddington to Penanze. Travelling by sleeper takes you back to a more romantic age or for me just reminds me of Agatha Christie murder mysteries and that James Bond movie from Russia with Love.

Nothing has quite prepared us for the joy of finding we had two separate compartments. linked by an interconnecting door and maybe it was a sad case of holiday fever, but I confesss we wooped and hugged each other for being so jammy! (aka lucky for my US followers!)

I awoke the following morning to rolling hills rushing by my window, when I pulled open the blind to see where we were. I was blown away, but a little cold, so I hopped back into bed to take in the full beauty of the stunning scenery.

30 mins later, my alarm screamed a morning call of 6:30am and I padded down the hallway to the bathroom, in my super snuggly thermo socks.

Just outside the bathroom, stood a stressed 'yummy mummy' and a rather sullent looking man, whose face resembled that of a sulking teenager, being forced to go on yet another family holiday, while his mates take off to Ibiza.

The train reared to a halt and they tried to open door,but it wouldn't open. They took it in turns to try and get it open, growing increasingly more frantic as the realisation that they might not be able to get off gripped them.

I hate to say it but they were hilarious,just like a scene from a Benny Hill Show. Their comic annoyance was topped off by their dropped faces as the train pulled away.

"What are we going to do now" wailed the man.

"Just calm down Gerry, we missed our stop, it's not the end of the world!"

Finding yourself in the middle of someone's domestic at 6am on a Saturday morning, on a sleeper train in your pj's, is enough of a weird moment,to make you realise that sometimes only a single girl vacation will do.

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Hello Goodbye and Blue Boy !

T-minus one days to my St Ives trip and I truly can't wait.

Road trips with the girls are always fun, but a road trip with Lolo is another thing entirely, since every activity is scheduled...which I find funny and endearing.

It reminds me of being on a school trip, or your early holidays with you parents. Since its my first real break this year, I can't wait for the chance to not think about the whirl of stuff going round in my head at the moment.

Work - I've managed to land a spot with the team I really want to work for, but alas only as a fill in, while they are waiting for their permanent person to work their notice.

Finding a tenant - I've pretty much abandoned the idea, after suffering from interview 'tenant rage'. Really, just how many unsuitable people you wouldn't like to live with, are out there and why, oh why have they all found their way to my house?

Lovelife - same old same old !

In the meantime, my happy for other people cup is is nearly full. My first text of the day came from Big D, who went on his second date yesterday. Things went so well he managed to land 'a cheeky snog', which is of course no surprise since he's such a little devil.

Speaking of little devils and particularly for those of you who who asked what happened to MC - He's tip top!

Actually I bumped into him today. He was back in the building for a one day conference with his new firm. He looked great and back to that smiley faced cheeky chappie I thought was fun to be around.

"So did you ask him why he hadn't been in touch?" said AR,who

"No"I said snorting. "Sorry to disappoint you, but he was my table buddy,that's it you little minx!. I'm just glad he's happy and found a job he loves"

"You are such a sentimental sap sometimes. Always worrying about everyone else and making sure they are ok"

"Whatever" I said grinning and walking away quickly.

Maybe its the past few weeks, when for whatever reason I've been approached by quite a few randoms.

There's definitely something in the air. I have been incredibly amused by the fact that for some, that initial 'Hi' is so traumatic, that when they do actually get your attention, they don't have a lot to say for themselves.

"So do you live round here?"

"I saw you last week...and....and...I thought I say hello, but I left it"

"You know Sarah don't you?"

Riveting. I usually tell them to breathe and then just talk!

The best of these motley tongue-tied boys has been Blue Boy (because of his suit and eyes!!).

He's got the type of crumbled face you would see in an old film noir, but he's clever, which for me is a must have.

He's in the process of setting up his own company and..well for once, let me not jinx things and say too much.

After all I doubt very much that I am the only eligible diva out there, there who wants to help Little BB find his horn!

We'll just have to wait and see!

Monday, 23 May 2011

Rampage !!

There's nothing quite like a mega girls night out to shake away the cobwebs and make you realise what a lucky cow you are.

B's birthday brought the crew together for much needed round of mischief.

I met her at Victoria Station, on time for once (that's me not her!). She looked awesome in a teal green number which complimented my metallic silver one shouldered dress perfectly.

"I'll tell you what BB, I had a nightmare finding something to wear. The outfit I tried on last week, didn't fit me."

"You're getting old", I said cheerfully.

"Cheeky cow"she replied laughing "Either that or I just can't be bothered to Atkins diet my way into a dress anymore!"

"Like I said, you're getting old!" We both laughed.

We arrived at the club with the rest of our Dancing Divas, late enough to ensure a few people were already on the dancefloor; but not so early that we looked like Desperate Donna's!

We found a cozy booth on the edge of the dancefloor, proceeded to work our way through chit chat, wine and of course some man talk, before breaking in our moves!

We danced like manics flat out for 6 hours straight. I can honestly say I haven't laughed so much in ages. Everyone was on point.

When the obligatory line of single guys (why oh why is it always the ones you don't like that find you irresistable?) tried to invade our little booth palace, we handled our business.

Either by out dancing them, girl hugging (tell me what man could come between girl on girl hug...apparently they are really distracting...!)

And, my personal favourite - the backward dance shuffle. A move so slick that our hunters,only noticed we'd done it, when the music changed and somehow we had ended up on the other side of the room still dancing, just minus them. Good to know we hadn't lost our touch !!

Rolling out a club at 5:30 in the morning is something I haven't done in a while. There something vaguely naughty about pouring out onto an empty street, when you obviously haven't been home yet.

There were two things I craved at that moment as I sat in the back of the cab - a bed and a burger and not necessarily in that order !

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Friend Envy!

Oh no I have been cursed recently with friend envy.

In the last three weeks I have been witness to nothing but good things happening to my friends. T is off to SEA for work...for three months, G is pregnant after 2 failed IVF attempts.

The Fireman has asked RA to move in with him - yep after only four months.... he is the real deal !

J just brought her dream house...at a massive discount. A is back at the top of the tree, following a company takeover which has ousted the Means Girls and left her firmly in charge.

Finally, Big G who's been online for 2 weeks has met a wonderful lady and described his first date with her as 'amazing'.

I have to claim lots of glory on this one, because for once following my advice he is now no longer dating. He isn't resting on his laurels either (well it would be a waste considering how many women have contacted him) and is has

I am truly happy for them all because they are my friends and I love them all dearly, but it feels like my quota of joy has somehow flatlined on route to me.

My pitch I hope is being pored over by a CEO and Marketing Director who recognises it as being different to how they do things now. Aside from this bright spot I feel a little out of sorts.

I've finally found a new home for Pop, after numerous 'not quite what I'm looking for' viewings, the last one culminating in a Northside excurison to a place I can only describe as being supremely depressing.

The flat itself was big enough to swing a cat in and we walked out double-time.

I never fail to be amazed at the balls of some people trying to charge West End prices for flats in outer, outer travel zones and this property search has really got me thinking what happens to Pop when he gets older.

It's also been the catalyst for a Pandora's box of other crap to explode all over me.

I'm fine - dealing with my stuff, like always and just like everyone else does, but it has left me wondering....when is it my turn to be hit with the some good luck space dust ?

Monday, 16 May 2011

Awkward Moments.....

The little minx in me that usually pops out when I'm flirting, or being cheeky or plain mischievous had to hold herself in check, when I bumped into a former suitor on the way home.

I have always thought that there should be an unwritten law on how to behave when you bump into a short-term (ST = three dates or less!) ex.

I'm always polite in a "Hi/Bye" kind of way, because its no big deal if something doesn't work out, however, some of the guys I've bumped into have acted like complete tits just like the Wobbler !!

The W was a slightly older, media big wig who I dated ST last year.

He was tall, bright, a little on the tubby side and strangely; so captivated by himself, that he actually said he was concerned about being recognised while we were out.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that you can't live on past 90s glories. It's today that really counts!

He was good company, but totally obssessed by MSN and talking dirty. I'm as open-minded as the next person, but sharing filthy thoughts online with a stranger is a little too grubby for me.

His insistence on doing so, put me completely off and led him to say he was just looking for a shag buddy and I was too much of a prude for him to bother with.

As I got off the boat I saw him and he saw me, even from behind his impossibly large sunglasses, that reminded me of when a small child wears a grown-up pair.

He shuffled his feet and looked down, while I smiled broadly not directly at him, as I noticed the lady beside him.

The minx in me really wanted to breeze right up to him and say

"Hi there",

but his discomfort which by now extended to a very red face as well, meant that I took pity on him and just walked by smirking.

Such a drama over nothing, but it amused me no end !

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

The Apprentice

Hooray my favourite show the Apprentice is back and already the sparks are flying.

I have lost my heart to the Irishman Jim, who has so far defused one row and talked a green grocer into selling him the ingredients for the challenge's tomato soup for next to nothing.

"Bottom up not top down - I didn't want to speculate, to accommulate"
explained the men's project manager, when trying to explain his product costing strategy.

The grumpy very grumpy accountant Edward kept respondng to Lord Sugar's questin in short quarter sound bites that made little sense.

Edward's dying caesar moment came when his nerdy colleague pointed out that he was trying so desperately to be perceived as anything other than an accountant, he'd actually forgotten the accountancy basics.

The delicious boardroom showdown descented into a 'I've got bigger balls than you' moment from Edward, who was promptly cut up by Gavin who had the nerve to query his business acumen.

Cue laugh out loud moment of the show when Edward responded that

"I'm the youngest and the shortest one here and I gave it a go. I rolled with the punches"

At that moment we all knew he was for high jump. In the back of a departing cab, he delivered a rousing mission statement.

"I'm only 25,the world is my oyster, I'm just gona roll with the punches!"

Genius. Pure genius and best of all another episode tomorrow!

Monday, 9 May 2011

Lusicious Lips and Mutual Appreciation

A bit of a unusual day, when at last my luscious pillowcase lips were recognised by way of some in-house filming at the agency.

I kid you not. I spent 30 minutes having my lips zoomed in on and cooed over, as I put them through their paces by way of pouts, kisses and reapplying lip balm. It was all too funny....!

Aside from my oral film debut, I shocked myself by finished my big pitch. Yep, after 3 weeks of what I can only describe as something aka to birthing pain (dramatic reference point only, as I haven't had a little BB yet!), it's all finished and now to be honest I am now terrified.

Scared of its potential to transform my life and conversely of everything going up in flames, in if the company I'm targeting hate it. Although LL and S assured me I was on point with it, I still had to turn for courage to Philip Adams:

'It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don't. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever.'

Suddenly things weren't so scary - I have absolutely nothing to lose by going for broke right!

Someone fighting through his comfort zone is Big D. While he is loving the fact that in 2 days he's had 60 odd views and has a wink return rate of about 40%, he's realised that online dating isn't as easy as it seems, even for an acknowledged catch like him.

"I've had some scary responses mainly from ladies in Advertising, Media and PR BB. It's weird you strike up a conversation, I want to take thing slow and clearly they don't."

"Oh, in a smutty way?" I asked giggling.

"No just direct, upfront about what they want"

"Well darling you know we're all nutty singletons in those industries, we're so busy being fabulous and creative we don't have time for love lives as well. Look at me !"

"Then there's the heartfelt replies"

"Avoid at all costs cherub, you are not BandAidBoy and you don't want to hurt anyone"

"Yes I'm staying clear and you're right I am attracting ladies my age, but they're all into freaking baking!"

"Baking isn't a crime cherub, at least these chicks can cook, after all Big D's gotta eat right? Dont worry cherub, I'm sure there is someone amazing out there for you", I replied reassuringly.

"Thanks and you're not a lost cause. You're the Marmite girl", Big D fired back.

"That's right compare me to something people love or hate! At least I can hold onto to the fact that I'm funny" I said laughing.

"You're more than funny hun you're:
Wicked smart
Magnetic and gorgeous and I love ya"

"And you are a total smoothie who has to say all of that because you're my buddy, but I love ya right back anyway cherub".

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Big D Goes Global !

I've never fully appreciated the joys of dating from a guys' perspective before, that is until after much prodding by moi, I finally persuaded Big D that it was time to call stop going for the'bimbos' he persists in 'dating'.

I will give him his dues though, as he waves good bye to his 'dog' phase he has 'dated' an alarming amount of pretty young things since I've known him. Most of whom unluckily for them have fallen hook, line and sinker for him - the little stinker!.

But only now has he realised that despite being young and gorgeous,it doesn't always mean that the one you are with can

a) Conduct an adult conversation in or out of the bedroom and
b) Be able to relate to where you are in life in terms of wanting to settle down with that special somebody and have a few kids running around!

It seems his time on Kilimanjaro has focused his mind and of course, he picked my brains about the best sites.

What was lovely about our conversation, was his nervousness about the whole online dating thing, which is ridiculous as Big D is a great package for the online pool of lovely ladies he is just about to dip his toe into.

He's not conventionally good looking, more cute I'd say, bright without being a nerd, but with ice blue eyes that draw you in, a lovely smile, a naughty sense of humour and ridiculously good dress sense.

He's also a Dad something which I think is cool, because he is a great one, but because we are diving into serious waters, he was contemplating whether to mention online or not.

I told him,

"Big D you have to be honest and say you have a son. Particularly because he is so important to you and whoever takes you on has to realise from the get go that you come with a rather lovely extra !!! Trust me as soon as they see a picture of you two together any sensible woman would melt"

His fear which maybe we ladies don't have, because of our tendency to dissect our relationships and selves with a surgeons precision before soldiering on regardless; is being vulnerable and honest enough to put a snippet of himself out in the world for judgement, without the benefit of the accompanying patter, banter or several glasses of wine he'd using have.

I told him he will be fine, as young women will see him as a Sugar Daddy and grown-ups like me, will see him as the real deal.

I have just one concern.

Has he really let go of being a dog ?

I adore Big D like a brother. I want him to be beyond happy, but he has to be willing to let his guard down.

By that I mean stop cracking jokes and being deliciously diverting, long enough for a prospective partner to recognise what I, his other friends and family have always known about him, that is he can only ever be the real deal, when he decides to be.

He can't play at it, which is a little bit of what he's being doing up until now, hence previous bad behaviour and a trail of broken hearts.

I truly believe that our hearts and our unconditional love are the most precious parts of us. When we come get involved with people who break them or just fracture our trust they don't understand the long-term repercussions of their actions.

Big D definitely has walls, but once you get past them there's an incredible person behind them. I have my fingers crossed that he finds someone who makes him the man he can be, and who appreciates him now and when he gets to that point.

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

The One With The Cheeky Sod

I may be off the sites, but it seems the ghosts of my online dating past aren't quite ready to let go of me yet.

On my personal email I received the following:

"Hi BB, I was wondering if you are around to grab a drink this week. Would love to see you. DG -x- "

I thought long and hard as to just who DG was, then noticing his rather distinctive email address used my search function to find out more.

Sure enough one of his emails had a dating site profile attached to it and I instantly remembered him as being on of last year's 'No Show Romeos' aka guys who seem super keen, press you to meet up and then not only don't show, but disappear completely afterwards.

In this particular instance I waited 20 mins for him, which is double my usual "I think I'm going be stood up"landing slot, as he had actually seemed like a decent guy, with a genuinely funny sense of humour and take on life in general.

I couldn't resist replying:

"Dear DG,

Lovely to hear from you but a tad surprised. You really must learn to keep a better count of the ladies you email.

Just to refresh your memory. You contacted me last year, asking to meet up for a drink and didn't show up. You also didn't call afterwards. Not classy or very nice.

Hope you are well though.


Surprise, surprise he hasn't replied !!

I appreciate the whole scattergun effect some men adopt to dating, but at least have the sense not to make a return trip to a love stop you've already driven by.

It makes you look like a hopeful fool !