Thursday, 4 October 2012

Hard Stuff !

So let me start with the hard stuff and there's no easy way to say it.

My Mum has cancer. I hate having to write it, say it or even think about it, but it is, what it is.

It sounds so brutal when you see it in black and white.  Brutal is exactly what it is. It's a disease that's invaded my family and so far killed my Grandad, danced around my sister and Pop in the past few years and has now taken up residence in the body of my Mum

She starts chemo in 3 short weeks and has so far amazed me, by her strength of mind, determination to down play it and has even joked that losing her hair will give her the opportunity to discover the joy of wigs!I'm heartbroken and I'm so unbelievably angry. 

I'm angry that this disease is a silent guest that's joined our family. Sitting at our table when we eat. Perched on the sofa while we talk,all the while, wating and watching us before striking like some venomous viper when we least expect it. Mum's never smoked, never drunk, in fact she could be a Gap poster girl for living a clean and wholesome life.

All I keep thinking is why her? Anybody else, but why her? I hate the fact that she's a plane ride away. That I won't be there for all of her chemo because while this never ending circle of B&B gigs continue, I simply can't afford not to work.

No lesson about money would ever have given me the clarity I have right now about the reality of what it can do for you. It offers you the freedom to make choices, but it can't buy you your health.

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