Hooray for Hollywood !

There are some exhibitions that you would kick yourself if you didn't go and see. The biggest must see draw in London right now, has to be Hollywood Costume at the Victoria and Albert Museum. Not since Mario Testino's ground-breaking 'Portraits' show at the National Portrait Gallery, have I seen genuine excitement on this level, from such a diverse audience.

Having had to queue (I know - first at Designing James Bond, now here - I hope this isn't a trend !!) I wasn't going to lose my place in the time allocated entry system. Face to face with a sullen faced, joyless cashier, I handed over my £14.00, which I thought was a tad pricey. Looking at my mini-guide, I wasn't surprised to see that the lead sponsor of Hollywood Costume is Harry Winston Jewellery !! Suddenly my £14.00 seemed like a snip !

So about that queue, yes it was unexpected and a little annoying, ( I am way, way too impatient at the best of times) but read on and you'll see why it was worth every moment of the inconvenience. Before I go on with my review however, I haveto warn you Hollywood Costume is yet another one of those exhibitions which prohibits photography. The exhibition is split into three sections.

THE TRAILER Was a cheeky, teasing short movie, that gently hinted at the gems that lay further inside. I actually gasped when I saw Scarlett O'Hara's green 'curtain' dress, beside it Beyonce's dress from Dream Girls, so skin tight, I finally understood why she went on that crazy lemon and maple syrup diet! Other gems included Charlie Chaplin's tramp outfit complete with bowler hat, costumes from the Last Emperor and Joan Crawford's diner outfit from Mildred Pierce.

Costume storyboards, were complimented by final outfits from Oceans 11, Brokeback Mountain, Fight Club, Adams Family Fun. Look out for Indiana Jones iconic adventurer outfit, broken down piece by piece, detailing its use and origin.

Queen Elizabeth I and II was represented beautifully - starting with the contemporary Queen as played by Helen Mirren, clad in Barbour jacket and plaid skirt opposite Queen Elizabeth I in the various costume guises worn by Bette Davis, Cate Blanchett and Dame Judi Dench.

THE MOVIE - Featured hologram costume designers, like the legendary Edith Head (All About Eve, To Catch A Thief, Roman Holiday, Vertigo, The Birds among so many others!!) talking about her work against a backdrop of the stills from the movie and mood boards. Beside The Birds, the ultimate storybook, complete with virtual page turning, tells the story of the Gangs of New York, the characters and their clothes, as if in conversation with its costume designer Sandy Powell.

My favourite, was my seat at the table of Sweeney Todd. Projected onto the table, a blood stained chopping board, complete with a rolling pin and dripping pie. The other 'guests' at my gory table, were director Tim Burton talking about his vision of the movie with its costume designer Colleen Atwood. Pitched against the blood of Sweeney was the brutal bravery of Gladiator Russell Crowe and in complete camp contrast, the original 1936 cape of Ming the Merciless from the original Flash Gordon.

THE MOVIE FINALE - The exhibition curators truly saved the best for last, occupying a legend filled room, starring a cast of superstar costumes from the likes of My Fair Lady, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Titanic, Funny Girl, Atonement (Kiera Knightley's iconic green silk evening gown - stunning!!!!!), Chicago, Basic Instinct, 101 Dalmatians, Pirates of the Caribbean, Blade Runner, Philadelphia Story, Hello Dolly, Kill Bill, My Man Godfrey, Braveheart, Terminator, The Matrix, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, Twilight, Black Swan, Independence Day, Frankenstein, Legally Blonde, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days and Borat.

Dotted around the room, overhead, on a platform, crouched on a wall and peeking over Marilyn Monroe and Judy Garland - Superman, Batman, Spiderman and Catwoman. a poignant note with the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy's original dress, blouse (a replacement for the destroyed original) and her ruby slippers (viewed with the dress as a replacement), but beside Marilyn's Monroe's dress from the Seven Year Itch are a set of ruby slippers actually worn by Judy Garland in the movie.

Just like the dress, the shoes surprised me with their size - tiny. I have to admit to getting a lump in my throat, at the thought that Judy never did find happiness at the end of her rainbow.

But standing here with so many other visitors, all of us congregating together, straining to catch a glimpse of the dress, each one with our own memories of the movie, I hoped that Judy wherever she was, was somehow aware of the legacy she left behind.

Hooray for Hollywood and the V&A for putting together a jaw-dropping multi-Oscar winning ultimate Hollywood Costume exhibition - Loved it !!

One Tweet Too Far !

Just like drunk texting, Twitter seems to be the place of choice for aggrieved ex's to go and vent their frustrations about their former partners. The added sting in their rantings, is that it is all conducted in a very public arena.

Worst of all, if the rants are memorable flashes of virtual craziness, before you can blink, someone will hit the RT button and set off a viewing chain, that you can never shutdown.

One of the most notable examples of Twitter ex rant overload, came recently from UK Z-list celebrity Chantelle Houghton.

The riveting transcript of her Twitter rant is in the bold text below - accompanied by my sarky comments in brackets !!

"Ok had enough, I'm putting the record straight. I've been in a bad place for weeks now but reason for that is this:I found text messages on Alex's.. (her ex-boyfriend) ...phone when Dolly (baby daughter of Alex and Chantelle) was 6 weeks old, it was to a man and he was arranging to meet up with him as Roxanne (Alex's name for himself, when he cross dresses - which is a bit of a novelty considering he's a musclebound cage fighter!)...for sex.

It wasn't the first time either. So I'm in hell right now but who wouldn't be. And Katie Price...(Alex's ex-wife, who Chantelle thinks he's still in love with!) was right cos now Alex wants half of my money and Dolly's money too, that we put in a trust fund for her from first OK magazine shoot.  

And for the record I've been asking Alex to send me a schedule of when he'd like to see Dolly but he won't commit. He can come and see her whenever he wants to. Oh and yes when I was 8 months pregnant Alex turned my house into a sex dungeon...

(I've heard of home improvements, but methinks Alex may have taken things a tad too far!!)

...and I slept on my flat floor for days because I couldn't come home.  

Now I know what Katie Price went through and she got the blame back then! I will walk to the end of the earth for my daughter and he will not be getting my money nor will he get Dolly's money.   And NO I didn't know Alex cross-dressed regularly cos he told me it was a publicity stunt, I found out when I was pregnant. Not forgetting the hookers he was texting that he'd had orgies with.

(By the time reached this part of Chantelle's rant, I started to wonder when Alex found the time to fit in all this crazy stuff?  Is he one of the very few men out there who can multi-task ??)

Forgive me if I look like bad right now but I am feeling it right now. Whole world was ripped apart in an instant.And I've texted the guy who he was arranging to meet and told him what I think of him too. Sick of him dragging me into this. It's wrong !! "

Yes that's Chantelle's rant exactly as she wrote it, which is pretty scary and so tackily inappropriate that it was clear that poor Chantelle has absolutely no concept of just when to put the keyboard down, and move on !

Today when G RTd me a string of tweets from her not so bright, 'player' current love interest who was 'crushing' on someone else, I have to admit I felt a little sorry for her.  After all here's a guy who's saying one thing to her and then doing a 360 Twitter mambo with someone else. All online  for the world and G to see, so what's the answer?

Instead of a virtual rant, which once online remains like a shining flagpost of the crazy emotions you may have been experiencing at the time - simply take your crazy offline !

There's nothing more bad arse then standing tall and telling an ex exactly what you think of them, when it's all over.  Why hide behind your keyboard !

Not enough people are honest enough to say what on their minds and then just move on... that my friends is what you call CLOSURE.. in real time and in real life  ! :0)

Here I Go Again!

Honest (soundtrack) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well I'm back. Having hit the wall three shorts weeks ago, I am now in week two of my new permanent job. Yay BB!!

I'm still a little shell-shocked if I'm honest, but ready to keep my head down and work hard.

Regaining that sense of permanence about work, after missing  it for such a long time in my life, is a real relief.

I'm beyond grateful for the opportunity and mindful that I can't slip back in my workaholic default, where work comes first and I let my personal life go to to wall.

After all if if I haven't learnt anything about the emptiness of being defined by your work; then the last 14 months might as well have not have happened at all.

My big lesson - was that your family and your health have to come first, above work, material gains and that smug satisfaction that sometimes overtakes  you when you're on a roll and stupidly believe your own hype; that whispers nothing will ever touch you.

I'm not that person anymore and am slowly working on that work life balance, I've always been so rubbish at. My 'new leaf' balance started when my nephew took me out for a meal and then a movie - Skyfall - I loved it,  he thought was just ok, on a 'school night'- I know, how crazy am I :0)
For once in my life, instead of texting to say that I was stuck at work, I left on right on the dot. Dinner before the movie gave us the chance to catch up early. Being newly engaged definitely suits him.  He replayed the proposal moment by moment, complete with a ring on his Blackberry - and, well it was soo sweet !

I admire his optimism and total belief in the dream (well for me anyway up to this point !) that love really can conquer all !

The One Where I Get The Job !

The X Factor (Australia) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So this is the post that I've dreamed about writing - the one where I get the job. 

Hooray !

Finally, I've found an employer who believes this little diva's got the X Factor !

No more freelance short-term gigs. It's a real jlife permanent job, with a great company doing what I'm good at and with the opportunity to learn so much more.

When I got the call it was like finally living the dream I've dreamt about for the last 14 months. Yes you did hear me right it's taken 14 months of 'Maybe's' that turned into No's. Way too many "We'll keep you on file" moments and let's not forget the flat out 'No's' for me to land a permanent job.

During that time I've hit lows I've never imagined or thought it was possible could happen to me. After all this type of thing only ever happens to somebody else right? I was so wrong !

Some days I couldn't face sitting there glued to my laptop. Tapping away on my keyboard, sending out yet more applications. Nervousily checking my mobile to see whether I'd even made it past the first stage agency automated responses; you know the ones, that tell you they aren't progressing your application !

In the midst of my despair I've learnt many valuable life lessons.

First up and probably the hardest lesson for me, was I am not and in reality have never been defined or ruled by work, I just thought I was. I am a self proclaimed workaholic. I give my work 120% at all times, but I have never ever managed to get the right balance between work and home.

It took my work being taken away from me, for me to realise this. I'm defined by my family, friends and my actions.  Without work I may feel rootless and frustrated, but I can just about function,. Take away my emotional support and I truly am a diva without hope.

Next there's nothing wrong with walking away from toxic people and bad situations. Why play the martyr when you don't have to?

Trouble always finds trouble and so I have crossed paths with several really unpleasant individuals who in full knowledge of my circumstances exhibited disloyalty, deception and malice on levels that blind-sided me.

The minute I put my foot down, started standing up for myself and physically cutting them out of my life, I stumbled across new friends. Some were initially complete strangers who have offered me kind words, wisdom and support, while other so-called friends just faded away, the longer my troubles rumbled on for.

My Mum always says you never get handed more than you can deal with. I never understood exactly what she meant until now. I am one tough cookie. I've never claimed a dime from the government during the times I wasn't working and I've worked my tail off to make sure I held onto BB Towers.

Finally and this is probably the most important, I've learnt the true value of gratitude and humility. Before my job search, I'd been spoilt, by living a charmed work life (except for the time I worked for HWMBO of course!) .

I've worked since I was 15 and literally whenever I've wanted to change jobs, I've always just walked into the next one. Because of this I'd never fully appreciated how lucky I was and wasn't as grateful as I should have been.

I am truly, truly thankful that my search is over. I'm looking forward to being a permanent part of a team again, but I'm also looking forward to not stressing anymore about where my next gig is coming from and how I was going to put food on the table and a roof over my head.

I just want to live happily, honouring and spending time with those I love and living every day with joy, grace and gratitude.

Dreams really do come true!

One Day At A Time

Now the news has sunk in about Mum, I'm tryng to deal with it one day at a time. I've done my crying and now I'm focused on what's to come - chemo before, during and after; and then hopefully remission.

I feel incredibly guilty about the situation because I've always been a Daddy's girl and part of me feels like I haven't been as close to my Mum as I should have been. It was kind of fated, as my Dad raised me as a single parent, after my Mum left.

While I grew up, he sacrificed a potentially high flying career to raise me, hopefully the right way. He wasn't a soft touch - far from it, in fact I spent half my childhood wondering why following his rules, seemed to mean that fun was in short supply.

It was only much later that I realised those rules and boundaries had kept me on the straight and narrow and out of harms way.  

I've realised over the years, that I've acquired his stubborn streak, random sentimentality often over the smallest things and a tendency to bury my feelings, particularly when I'm hurt - which is why writing is so important to me.  When I can't say it out loud, I just write it all down.

Pop's always been the constant and strongest male figure in my life, so when he had his own brush with cancer, which thankfully he recovered from, I held it together to support him, but then crumbled after he got through it.

I've always been able to handle everyone else's hard stuff like a pro, but my own crap frequently leaves me clueless !

I've decided that the only way to get through this is learning all about it.  I need to understand the type of cancer we're dealing with so I can help Mum fight it.  Hopefully that knowledge, plus her positivity and determination to beat it, will be all we need.

Despite everything that's going on, life continues to surprise me and just one day after Mum's diagnosis, my nephew called me to say he was going to propose to his girlfriend.

My sister was suitably hysterical about the prospect of 'her baby' doing something so grown up and I probably would have felt that same normally, but for his response when I asked him why she was 'The One'.

"She knows me inside out. She's always got my back. She pushes me to be better than I should be and I love her for it".

That sincerity and unconditional belief in the power of love, was just what I needed to hear at that moment, and I was so thankful for it.