Monday, 6 April 2009

Return of the Diva

No, your eyes are not deceiving you - I'm back! After a sleepless, study enforced absence I am free woman. No more books - except for some candyfloss chick-lit book of the month and a magazine or two, or three.... No more late night study sessions - it is desperately hard to look fabulous on four hours sleep, even if you've smothered yourself in Clarins Flash Balm and stuck some teabags on your eyes - does that beauty tip really work for anyone?

No more weekend library sessions - the hottest day of the year outside and I was sitting in a dark wood panelled room, held captive by several books by some very angry feminists, questioning the backlash of women in the 8Os - I know I missed it too! Contemplating my new found freedom on my sofa, demolishing a tub of my favourite ice cream, I thought about all the things I could do with my freetime.

I wil return to drinking coffee for the hell of it, not just to keep me awake. Don't worry I will not be keeping Starbucks afloat, after all we know that no latte is really worth £3.

Find a boyfriend - this has been floating around on my to do list for a while now and I feel that I need to give the issue some serious effort. I am going to begin by becoming part of an insitution enjoyed by men everywhere in the United Kingdom. Yes, I have put my name down for tickets to Top Gear and dare I say it the Motor Show. If I don't find a man at either location, at least I can practice my hair tossing and pouting, while pretending to be a car promotions girl.

Next - I am going to change my hair. There are many things a woman clings to - her favourite foundation, those tiny weeny pants that made look amazing when you first tried them on in the shop but never have since you got them home. But, just on principle you hold onto them just in case, they ever make you look amazing again and what about eyeshadow trios? Why, oh why, do we hang on to those, particularly when we've smashed the plastic case?

The advantage of fake hair is that when you get bored you just buy some more in a different colour. Also when you have human fake hair, it doesn't fuzz up in the rain, but you never ever lose that sense of walking around wearing a horse's tail on your head. For these reasons before the end of the year ,I am moving from fake curly hair to fake straight hair - come on work with me - I want a change, not a daily hair disaster!

Lastly, I am going to go to the gym.....only joking....I am going for a some stage this year....a long flat shoes. I figure this will ease me gently into my 2010 fitness drive.
Arrr.....the joys of having time on my hands !

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