Sunday, 28 April 2013

The Trouble With B

Simulated view of a black hole in front of the...
Simulated view of a black hole in front of the Large Magellanic Cloud. The ratio between the black hole Schwarzschild radius and the observer distance to it is 1:9. Of note is the gravitational lensing effect known as an Einstein ring, which produces a set of two fairly bright and large but highly distorted images of the Cloud as compared to its actual angular size. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
"So how's it going with B", A asked me.

"Not so good" I replied grimly.

Yes, the one thing that scarced me most about long distance relationships has apparently happened with us - we've stopped communicating.

Now before you ask, we didn't have a fight. I haven't issued a crazy girl hysterical ultimatum or thrown a virtual diva like tantrum :0)

When I say we've stopped talking, I don't mean totally; it's just that our daily Skype chats have ceased.

His responses to my texts now are patchy (by that I mean up to a day can go by, before I get a response sometimes) and inevitably, his responses include those stock men words of dome, that strike fear into the hearts of dating women everywhere. 'Maybe' 'Tomorrow' and 'Later'

So what's going on? Nothing I can talk about because I do respect B's privacy - all I can say is this is a challenging time for him on all fronts.

I absolutely want to be and am trying to be there for him. But this wonderful man who I respect and value so much, keeps disappearing and going quiet and it's freaking the hell out of me.

I'm upset, because first and foremost he's one of my good friends, who I hate to see and hear going through a rubbish time. Yet he can't or won't talk to me.

Then I'm sad because I know what it's like to be in a black hole, where your life is concerned. My dark days took me right to the edge, but I always got up and I learned from it, probably my biggest lesson - to ask for help and talk about what was driving me crazy.

Things maybe better now for me, but I haven't forgotten what it's like to pull yourself out of a hole and then try to do everything possible to stop yourself from being sucked right back into it.

Which brings me neatly back to B. For me relationships are defined just as much by the bad times, as the good, in terms of your experiences separately and with each other.

You and your significant other are a team, that supports each other and talks things through or so I thought. Maybe I'm just too old school for B; or maybe he's just never come across someone who thinks like I do.

What am I going to do? ...Hang on in there and ...we'll see.
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