One of the very best things about this country is its tolerance.
That tradition of tolerance and embracing of individuality, has led the oppressed and dispossessed throughout the ages to find their way to our shores, where they could live in peaceful harmony unjudged as being anything other than just themselves.
Maybe this sense of live and let live, has spoiled me with the expectation that everyone lives by this code.
I was really shocked by the hysteria and hatred generated on the net about an alleged statement from ex lead B2K singer Omarion in which he 'confirmed' he was bisexual.
I thought that in these englighted times someone's sexuality was their own business and a public judgement of them was completely unnecessary.It wasn't a surprise to me to read that Omarion hit back straightaway, hard like a gangsta via Twitter.
'I DID NOT RELEASE THAT STATEMENT',whatever you like is your business but I AINT GAY OR BISEXUAL,I love women PERIOD!!!!!!!'.
Whether he is or isn't, shouldn't be an issue. When Duncan James, from boyband Blue came out as bisexual, it barely raised a flutter in the British media, despite its reputation as being among one of the most ruthless in the world.
James' reputation in the entertainment industry and with the British public remains 'untarnished' and I for one am glad that a talented, hardworking individual, has not had his career blighted, because he has taken the decision to be be forthright about his personal life.
Saturday, 8 January 2011
Thursday, 6 January 2011
Happy Anniversary BB
I can't believe that roundabout this time last year I was settling down to another year working for HWMBO and completely dreading it.
If anyone would have told me that exactly one week later, I'd be clearing my desk and heading out the door, then really I wouldn't have believed them. I'm lots of things, but my idea of risk taking has never, ever involved my work.
I've always been the slow and steady kind of girl.
One year on from that dark, very unhappy place and I truly can't recognise myself or more importantly, my outlook on my life.
I love going to work!
There I said it. For those of you who hate me for saying that, take it from one who knows, there is no time like the present for you to find another job!
For those of you, who've been through what I did and came out on the other side, all power to you for fighting your way out of a negative situation, dealing with crap, learning about yourself in ways in never felt possible.
Working on yourself, all in pursuit of your very own work happiness, can be pretty rough. Sometimes it takes hitting your lowest point, is the only way you can see how bad things are and decide that you are worth so much more.
Why would anyone want to 'settle' or put up with less than they deserve?
At work now, I'm surrounded (as I was previously and will always be thankful for keeping me sane!) by a group of people I enjoy working and spending time with; but the best part is being regularly recognised for doing good work by my big Boss.
Pathetic as it seems that random "well done" or "thanks for sorting that out", from BB puts a mega grin on my face and makes me realise how ridiculously lucky I am.
You can't pick your family, but you do choose the office 'family' you work with and when you get that right, particularly when you think about how much time you spend with them, well then you're not doing too badly.
If you get your work life balance sorted out as well, take a moment to step back and see exactly what you can achieve elsewhere in your life.
Go on! I double dare you !
If anyone would have told me that exactly one week later, I'd be clearing my desk and heading out the door, then really I wouldn't have believed them. I'm lots of things, but my idea of risk taking has never, ever involved my work.
I've always been the slow and steady kind of girl.
One year on from that dark, very unhappy place and I truly can't recognise myself or more importantly, my outlook on my life.
I love going to work!
There I said it. For those of you who hate me for saying that, take it from one who knows, there is no time like the present for you to find another job!
For those of you, who've been through what I did and came out on the other side, all power to you for fighting your way out of a negative situation, dealing with crap, learning about yourself in ways in never felt possible.
Working on yourself, all in pursuit of your very own work happiness, can be pretty rough. Sometimes it takes hitting your lowest point, is the only way you can see how bad things are and decide that you are worth so much more.
Why would anyone want to 'settle' or put up with less than they deserve?
At work now, I'm surrounded (as I was previously and will always be thankful for keeping me sane!) by a group of people I enjoy working and spending time with; but the best part is being regularly recognised for doing good work by my big Boss.
Pathetic as it seems that random "well done" or "thanks for sorting that out", from BB puts a mega grin on my face and makes me realise how ridiculously lucky I am.
You can't pick your family, but you do choose the office 'family' you work with and when you get that right, particularly when you think about how much time you spend with them, well then you're not doing too badly.
If you get your work life balance sorted out as well, take a moment to step back and see exactly what you can achieve elsewhere in your life.
Go on! I double dare you !
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
Poaching In Someone Else's Backyard !
D came over for dinner. I thought it was going to be a girly gossipy night, until she dropped a little bomb on me.
Yes, the New Year hasn't even really gotten underway and D has jumped off the deep end and reunited with the married guy, she has been wasting her time with on and off all year; despite all of us telling her to walk away.
The older I get and particularly when I'm dating, married men keep popping up and if you aren't careful it can be really easy to get involved with one. So what's their appeal. Simple, they're initially unavailable. Think about your biggest temptations and invariably the more out of reach they are, the more you want them.
That's D's problem. Like some urban Angelina in the ten years that I've known her, she has always gone after 'that guy', be he married or dating someone, because she figures he's the catch, that some else caught.
She always knows exactly what she was walking into, but this time she forgot that the easiest thing you can lose control of is your heart. And, if its to the wrong person, then get ready for a sea of hurt feelings and disappointment.
Strangely she came to me for words of wisdom, which is kind of ironic, as I made a complete jackarse of myself many moons ago (with H) in just the same way.
The benefit of hindsight (and if you're lucky, the best lesson you'll ever learn) is that if you see one of your friends heading for that same oh so inevitable Thelma and Louise moment, you can grab the steering wheel of their hearts and hopefully get them to pull over, while they get a hold of themselves.
That is until your friend utters the two cliches that divide the smart from the gently deluded.
"But I love him and I just want to be with him" said D.
I could have danced around the obvious, but I like her way too much to do that, so I replied
"I hear you cherub, and I'm not disputing how strongly you feel about this guy, but trust me when his wife finds out and he realises that he could loose that otherwise perfect, but slightly dull life he actually has, you will be dumped double-time. Save yourself the humiliation and bail out while you can".
She cried. Right in front of me, she flat out folded up into a heap of streaming tears, streaky mascara and a very red runny nose.
I felt like the original mean girl, but sometimes the only thing you can do is to give your opinion to a friend, break out the kleenex and the hugs and then hope that they get off lightly.
What D needs to remember is that married men can be just like Peter Pan. They love Wendy, but it doesn't stop them wanting and not always being able to resist the charms of Tinkerbell.
The difference between fact and fiction is that however hot Tinkerbell is, she just can't compete with Wendy.
Yes, the New Year hasn't even really gotten underway and D has jumped off the deep end and reunited with the married guy, she has been wasting her time with on and off all year; despite all of us telling her to walk away.
The older I get and particularly when I'm dating, married men keep popping up and if you aren't careful it can be really easy to get involved with one. So what's their appeal. Simple, they're initially unavailable. Think about your biggest temptations and invariably the more out of reach they are, the more you want them.
That's D's problem. Like some urban Angelina in the ten years that I've known her, she has always gone after 'that guy', be he married or dating someone, because she figures he's the catch, that some else caught.
She always knows exactly what she was walking into, but this time she forgot that the easiest thing you can lose control of is your heart. And, if its to the wrong person, then get ready for a sea of hurt feelings and disappointment.
Strangely she came to me for words of wisdom, which is kind of ironic, as I made a complete jackarse of myself many moons ago (with H) in just the same way.
The benefit of hindsight (and if you're lucky, the best lesson you'll ever learn) is that if you see one of your friends heading for that same oh so inevitable Thelma and Louise moment, you can grab the steering wheel of their hearts and hopefully get them to pull over, while they get a hold of themselves.
That is until your friend utters the two cliches that divide the smart from the gently deluded.
"But I love him and I just want to be with him" said D.
I could have danced around the obvious, but I like her way too much to do that, so I replied
"I hear you cherub, and I'm not disputing how strongly you feel about this guy, but trust me when his wife finds out and he realises that he could loose that otherwise perfect, but slightly dull life he actually has, you will be dumped double-time. Save yourself the humiliation and bail out while you can".
She cried. Right in front of me, she flat out folded up into a heap of streaming tears, streaky mascara and a very red runny nose.
I felt like the original mean girl, but sometimes the only thing you can do is to give your opinion to a friend, break out the kleenex and the hugs and then hope that they get off lightly.
What D needs to remember is that married men can be just like Peter Pan. They love Wendy, but it doesn't stop them wanting and not always being able to resist the charms of Tinkerbell.
The difference between fact and fiction is that however hot Tinkerbell is, she just can't compete with Wendy.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
First Day Back
Today was like that horrible first day back that you remember from your school holidays.
You know what I'm talking about - that moment when you know you have to get up, but you hit snooze on your alarm, pull the blankets back over your head and try to grab just ten more minutes!
The day raced by and I surprised myself by working through my to do list in record time and continuing to work on my 2011 goals at home.
At the core of everything I am going to achieve this year (yes, I'm being super positive!) is being more true to myself.
Last year I spent a lot of time biting my tongue, then wondering why people assumed I was just going to go along with what they said.
This year I'm not playing this game. I'm not going go nuts and let my mouth run away with me, but I'm not going to put up with crap or say what I think people want to hear from me.
Take one of the guys who I pulled from my love interest stack. He asked -
"How long have you been on the web site? What would your perfect match be? Which is the best way to understand if some one could be the right one?"
In the past I might have micro analysed it. Triple dissected why he was asking the questions and the impact of my answers. Not anymore.
My response:
1) Over a year.
2) Someone who is chilled, not a player, comfortable with himself and me.
and finally,
3) It's all about a connection, chemistry and getting along with one and other.
Short, sweet, non-rambly but very me and it felt oh so good.
You know what I'm talking about - that moment when you know you have to get up, but you hit snooze on your alarm, pull the blankets back over your head and try to grab just ten more minutes!
The day raced by and I surprised myself by working through my to do list in record time and continuing to work on my 2011 goals at home.
At the core of everything I am going to achieve this year (yes, I'm being super positive!) is being more true to myself.
Last year I spent a lot of time biting my tongue, then wondering why people assumed I was just going to go along with what they said.
This year I'm not playing this game. I'm not going go nuts and let my mouth run away with me, but I'm not going to put up with crap or say what I think people want to hear from me.
Take one of the guys who I pulled from my love interest stack. He asked -
"How long have you been on the web site? What would your perfect match be? Which is the best way to understand if some one could be the right one?"
In the past I might have micro analysed it. Triple dissected why he was asking the questions and the impact of my answers. Not anymore.
My response:
1) Over a year.
2) Someone who is chilled, not a player, comfortable with himself and me.
and finally,
3) It's all about a connection, chemistry and getting along with one and other.
Short, sweet, non-rambly but very me and it felt oh so good.
Saturday, 1 January 2011
New Beginnings
Well it seems like I'm not the only one who's put finding love somewhere on my 2011 to do list.
I have received 15 emails and 23 winks, which makes me think there were an awful lot of lovelorn boys online last night and some very hungover men this morning. If anyone diverting pops up, you'll be the first to know !
It should be fun, especially since my 'must haves' list is practically empty. All potential love interests must be:
Single (aka Unmarried, no reoccuring ex-girlfriends or sexy 'friends', who might become single)
Smart (well no one wants to hang out with an idiot do they?) and
Funny (the sillier the better!)
Yep 2011 is all about me being a real, low maintenance kinda gal !
I have received 15 emails and 23 winks, which makes me think there were an awful lot of lovelorn boys online last night and some very hungover men this morning. If anyone diverting pops up, you'll be the first to know !
It should be fun, especially since my 'must haves' list is practically empty. All potential love interests must be:
Single (aka Unmarried, no reoccuring ex-girlfriends or sexy 'friends', who might become single)
Smart (well no one wants to hang out with an idiot do they?) and
Funny (the sillier the better!)
Yep 2011 is all about me being a real, low maintenance kinda gal !
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