There is nothing funnier than watching two testosterone soaked men, circling each other like two Essex girls at a Cricket dress sale, before going at it over the most trival arguement ever !
I couldn't resist staying behind at work to finish off my prep notes for a virtual training session I was holding with the States. My new neighbour aka Mr Mom - the man who loves his child tooooo much, had to work late.
To prevent the ineventual conversation about his child's latest amazing feat, I popped my headphones in and prayed he would shut up. No such joy.
His boss whose management expertise consists of last minute.comitis - the ability to leave everything business priority tasks to the very last minute and then expect your entire team to work late, to save your arse !); was on the war path.
The arguement between Mr Mum and Mr Last Minute started over nothing, but it got lively enough for me to remove my headphones and listen in, while still tapping furiously on my keyboard.
Mr Last Minute started with a few upper cuts before delivering a low blow.
"You lied about this piece of work and consequently, the whole body of work need to be revisited. I don't like liars!"
It turns out that being called a liar is the button, that can turn Mr Mom into the incredible Hulk and he hit back (verbally!), with a body rocking upper cut.
"How dare you! How dare you call me a liar. I am sitting here trying to make sense of work model that doesn't work. I've been given inconsistent information, which I am trying to reconcile. I'm tired, I'm frustrated and you've just been riding me. I just don't need it or appreciate it. I've got too much work today!"
"Too much to do. I give you real work, let's really get you spinning some plates. That's what I do every day. The fact of the matter is you lied and I don't like it!"
That's when Mr Mom fired the salvo no boss wants to hear from a member of staff during a crisis they've delegated to their team to handle.
"I'm telling you again don't call me a liar. I made a mistake, I gave you some information I believed to be true and as it turns out it's not. Don't you talk to me like that. Remember I'm a contractor, I don't have to stay here working late and if you continue like this ....I'll walk. I mean it, I'll walk!".
My typing speeded up considerably, as I tried to look like I was so into my work that I couldn't hear the arguement. Heaven only knows how I mentioned to keep from laughing out loud at these two peacocks trying to prove who could shout the loudest.
We all think that women are nature's bitches (when pushed), but after that little handbag shuffle, I say the men have it by a whisker!
Monday, 11 October 2010
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Express Yourself !
Work has been nuts...totally and completely nuts and maybe it's just what I needed after this the relevation from L that she is still in contact with her cheating X. He is now in 'therapy' for his 'issues' - I've never heard the inability to commit or habitual need to cheat on your other half, ever described as 'issues' before !
L reminds me so much of the mire of 'what if',I've been guilty in the past of wallowing in. I admit It is amazing how clearly you see crappy situations and the shitty behaviour of people when you are not directly having to deal with it.
Its another one of those relationship things, that I've finally figured out. Staying with someone, because you're worried you won't find someone else is hardly the premise of someone with a healthy outlook at relationships; or the likelihood to be in the right state to be able to form good ones.
O finally got back in touch via....email (not text) which is of course the death nail to any association. His cheery remoteness amused me.
" Thanks for being understanding. Finished presentation. Totally shattered, so signing off, but I've got your number, so I'll call you."
Wow Hoo lucky, lucky me - something to look forward to ? I think not!
I'm not alone in the manless desert though, our resident office sex bomb BS chimed
"This has been my worst drought since I was 14!", At least I'm in esteemed company!
E-mail seems to be the weapon of choice for emotional outbursts also. This fabulous eruption was frantically tapped out and sent by a colleague, who finding her chair had been misappropriated, shared her venom with us all, under the aptly titled subject of 'Stealing Chairs'
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
Whoever keeps stealing my chair - which is super low so that my laptop screen is eye level and I don't end up squinting even more than I already do and becoming a total hunchback - STOP IT!
And no, getting a monitor won't help because at the moment I have to choose whether I want to use my laptop or write on old school paper as the bank of desks I sit at, is half the depth of every other desk and there isn't space for both, so no space for a monitor. And stealing another person's chair is just passing the problem somewhere else. Also all the other spare chairs won't lower !
Also, fyi, there is an entire stationary department in the building They have pens. Tonnes of them in lots of difference colours, so stop stealing mine !
I don't even care that this e mail is petty and ridiculous. I've had enough !!
Maybe there was something in the water, because prior to that funny e-rant, I erupted on finding out my new work desk buddy is none other than Super Dad.
SD is the type of parent, who believes that every waking moment of their child's existence should be recorded, as if failing to do so is somehow some offence against nature and anyone who happens to be alive. I swear if his kid so much as burps in a 'special' way, he whips his camera out faster than you can say pocket money !
When he didn't sit beside me, whenever the I-phone was pulled out with some new pics for universal admiration, complimented by an overly rambling story about said child, I would always slip away, returning to my desk only when I was completely sure that his tome was finished.
Don't get me wrong - I love children and part of my search for Mr OK (he's been demoted from Mr Right Now, because let's be honest, my calibre of suitor recently has been pretty pants!), is that I do want to be a wife and mother. I know it sounds completely ridiculous, but a Diva can dream can't she ?
But that doesn't mean to say I want to have the life of someone who already done it (smug marrieds, people who have suddenly become parents after trying for ages and then never stop banging on about their kids, sometimes unbelievably patronisingly so - "You're time will come"!, along with a pitying head lean which makes you feels like shit!)
It is way beyond annoying and just like the email,I'm not taking it lying down. I'm moving desks - tomorrow. There are some tortures which are too much to bear and this is one of them !
L reminds me so much of the mire of 'what if',I've been guilty in the past of wallowing in. I admit It is amazing how clearly you see crappy situations and the shitty behaviour of people when you are not directly having to deal with it.
Its another one of those relationship things, that I've finally figured out. Staying with someone, because you're worried you won't find someone else is hardly the premise of someone with a healthy outlook at relationships; or the likelihood to be in the right state to be able to form good ones.
O finally got back in touch via....email (not text) which is of course the death nail to any association. His cheery remoteness amused me.
" Thanks for being understanding. Finished presentation. Totally shattered, so signing off, but I've got your number, so I'll call you."
Wow Hoo lucky, lucky me - something to look forward to ? I think not!
I'm not alone in the manless desert though, our resident office sex bomb BS chimed
"This has been my worst drought since I was 14!", At least I'm in esteemed company!
E-mail seems to be the weapon of choice for emotional outbursts also. This fabulous eruption was frantically tapped out and sent by a colleague, who finding her chair had been misappropriated, shared her venom with us all, under the aptly titled subject of 'Stealing Chairs'
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
Whoever keeps stealing my chair - which is super low so that my laptop screen is eye level and I don't end up squinting even more than I already do and becoming a total hunchback - STOP IT!
And no, getting a monitor won't help because at the moment I have to choose whether I want to use my laptop or write on old school paper as the bank of desks I sit at, is half the depth of every other desk and there isn't space for both, so no space for a monitor. And stealing another person's chair is just passing the problem somewhere else. Also all the other spare chairs won't lower !
Also, fyi, there is an entire stationary department in the building They have pens. Tonnes of them in lots of difference colours, so stop stealing mine !
I don't even care that this e mail is petty and ridiculous. I've had enough !!
Maybe there was something in the water, because prior to that funny e-rant, I erupted on finding out my new work desk buddy is none other than Super Dad.
SD is the type of parent, who believes that every waking moment of their child's existence should be recorded, as if failing to do so is somehow some offence against nature and anyone who happens to be alive. I swear if his kid so much as burps in a 'special' way, he whips his camera out faster than you can say pocket money !
When he didn't sit beside me, whenever the I-phone was pulled out with some new pics for universal admiration, complimented by an overly rambling story about said child, I would always slip away, returning to my desk only when I was completely sure that his tome was finished.
Don't get me wrong - I love children and part of my search for Mr OK (he's been demoted from Mr Right Now, because let's be honest, my calibre of suitor recently has been pretty pants!), is that I do want to be a wife and mother. I know it sounds completely ridiculous, but a Diva can dream can't she ?
But that doesn't mean to say I want to have the life of someone who already done it (smug marrieds, people who have suddenly become parents after trying for ages and then never stop banging on about their kids, sometimes unbelievably patronisingly so - "You're time will come"!, along with a pitying head lean which makes you feels like shit!)
It is way beyond annoying and just like the email,I'm not taking it lying down. I'm moving desks - tomorrow. There are some tortures which are too much to bear and this is one of them !
Sunday, 3 October 2010
WTF !
One of the best things about Twitter, Facebook and of course blogs, is that when you are feeling super ranty, you can just pound away on your keyboard and tell anyone who's bothered, just how hacked off you are.
I have just spent the last hour twittering with an angry mob over of all things the X-Factor. Gamu and Tracey, two brilliant vocalists were let go, while Cher (who had a meltdown during her final performance) and Katie (who forgot her words and had to start again), got the big yes and now go on to perform in the live shows.
In the past it would been a water cooler moment at work, but the wonderful worldof twitter allowed me to rant to my hearts content. I was already feeling ranty, especially after O's Happy Sunday message this morning.
Yes this is the very same O, who had been so dismissive about TF, today he showed that he actually had a little more in common with TF, then he initially may have thought. As you know we were supposed to hang out today. That was until this popped up in my inbox this morning - is it just me or is calling a person going out of fashion!
"Hi BB hope you've had a good weekend so far.
Look, really really sorry to be a flake & cancel today, but not going to be able to make it. I've got a presentation to give on the Trust away day on Tues morning.I'm well behind and the panic is setting in!
Gonna have to bite the bullet and just work through today. Apologies, was aiming to have it done & dusted by yesterday.
I'll call you. X "
It's lucky I'm not a a neurotic or lacking in confidence,or disappointed - down playing a potential date is now second nature to me.
Fine it was a crap rainy day, but really O if you couldn't be bothered to meet or and this is giving you the benefit of the doubt, if you really had to work, you could at least been man enough to make a call.
Don't worry I'm not losing it,I'm just wondering when my crap man luck is going to end?
I have just spent the last hour twittering with an angry mob over of all things the X-Factor. Gamu and Tracey, two brilliant vocalists were let go, while Cher (who had a meltdown during her final performance) and Katie (who forgot her words and had to start again), got the big yes and now go on to perform in the live shows.
In the past it would been a water cooler moment at work, but the wonderful worldof twitter allowed me to rant to my hearts content. I was already feeling ranty, especially after O's Happy Sunday message this morning.
Yes this is the very same O, who had been so dismissive about TF, today he showed that he actually had a little more in common with TF, then he initially may have thought. As you know we were supposed to hang out today. That was until this popped up in my inbox this morning - is it just me or is calling a person going out of fashion!
"Hi BB hope you've had a good weekend so far.
Look, really really sorry to be a flake & cancel today, but not going to be able to make it. I've got a presentation to give on the Trust away day on Tues morning.I'm well behind and the panic is setting in!
Gonna have to bite the bullet and just work through today. Apologies, was aiming to have it done & dusted by yesterday.
I'll call you. X "
It's lucky I'm not a a neurotic or lacking in confidence,or disappointed - down playing a potential date is now second nature to me.
Fine it was a crap rainy day, but really O if you couldn't be bothered to meet or and this is giving you the benefit of the doubt, if you really had to work, you could at least been man enough to make a call.
Don't worry I'm not losing it,I'm just wondering when my crap man luck is going to end?
Monday, 27 September 2010
Next and Cheater's Progress
Next...is O, who wanted to know how I got on with TF. He could bearly contain his joy at hearing FT had struck out, but seeing my face, pulled back just in time to save the situation by saying we should go out instead and reassuring me that he would show up!
O is a massage therapist - 6ft, shaved head, built and....arr....well I'm not getting too excited, but if you go on a date with zero expectations, anything beyond that is a bonus right?
While I'm sort of on a green light,It seems like L's ex, Mr Man is stuck on a red. He just can't stand being dumped, instead of him being in his more familar role of doing the dumping. His room at Heartbreak Hotel, hasn't stopped him trying to turn on the charm so he can express checkout and move back into L's loving arms.
L hasn't wavered since she cancelled her subscription to being part of Mr Man's harem. She's changed the locks to her apartment, returned his belongings first class and politely asked him to continue on his permanent hike out of her life, including a blunt request that he stop calling her friends and family.
His response was deflecton - suggesting they meet to talk and also declaring,
"For what it's worth, I love you".
How ironic that despite 'loving' her, he still had absolutely no problem doing the dirty on her on multiple occasions !
O is a massage therapist - 6ft, shaved head, built and....arr....well I'm not getting too excited, but if you go on a date with zero expectations, anything beyond that is a bonus right?
While I'm sort of on a green light,It seems like L's ex, Mr Man is stuck on a red. He just can't stand being dumped, instead of him being in his more familar role of doing the dumping. His room at Heartbreak Hotel, hasn't stopped him trying to turn on the charm so he can express checkout and move back into L's loving arms.
L hasn't wavered since she cancelled her subscription to being part of Mr Man's harem. She's changed the locks to her apartment, returned his belongings first class and politely asked him to continue on his permanent hike out of her life, including a blunt request that he stop calling her friends and family.
His response was deflecton - suggesting they meet to talk and also declaring,
"For what it's worth, I love you".
How ironic that despite 'loving' her, he still had absolutely no problem doing the dirty on her on multiple occasions !
Friday, 24 September 2010
Blown Out and Check Out My New Coat !
You know you are looking mighty fine, when not only your work colleagues tell you, you look great, but the hottest gay man in the office says you look fierce and classy. This was exactly how hot I was looking yesterday, when the Frenchman stood me up.
Long-standing readers of my musings, know that H has left me with a complete aversion for any man who can't be bothered to show up. It is just pain rude!
If you don't even have the balls to come up with a plausible excuse (H never did, bless him he was such a crap liar), then it is particularly galling.
In this instance, I texted TF to say I was running 10 mins late, due to my last meeting of the day over-running. When I got to the station, he had replied:
"Holy moly BB. I am myself stuck in a meeting with CEO and may have to cancel".
"May have to cancel" 5 minutes before the start of the proposed date, is in any serial daters' book really means 'I am cancelling', without actually saying it. Why some men do this, still remains one of life's great mysteries to me.
"What a shame. Let's save toing and froing and just raincheck. How about we try the weekend?" was my response.
Note I resonded positively, without a hinto of annoyance (life's too short!) leaving the ball firmly in his court. By the time, I got off at my station, my phone had still not bleeped.
Fortunately, my days of berating myself when dates or non-dates as this turned out, go tits up are long over. Where men are concerned nothing about their behaviour, on any level, surprises me anymore.
I did what any hard core fashionista does in the face of mild annoyance, I went shopping.
I returned three hours later to Casa BB with a gorgeous new grey wool winter coat, purple clutch bag and matching gloves - truly fabulous !
As for the TF - still no word - I have of course deleted his number from my phone.
NEXT !
Long-standing readers of my musings, know that H has left me with a complete aversion for any man who can't be bothered to show up. It is just pain rude!
If you don't even have the balls to come up with a plausible excuse (H never did, bless him he was such a crap liar), then it is particularly galling.
In this instance, I texted TF to say I was running 10 mins late, due to my last meeting of the day over-running. When I got to the station, he had replied:
"Holy moly BB. I am myself stuck in a meeting with CEO and may have to cancel".
"May have to cancel" 5 minutes before the start of the proposed date, is in any serial daters' book really means 'I am cancelling', without actually saying it. Why some men do this, still remains one of life's great mysteries to me.
"What a shame. Let's save toing and froing and just raincheck. How about we try the weekend?" was my response.
Note I resonded positively, without a hinto of annoyance (life's too short!) leaving the ball firmly in his court. By the time, I got off at my station, my phone had still not bleeped.
Fortunately, my days of berating myself when dates or non-dates as this turned out, go tits up are long over. Where men are concerned nothing about their behaviour, on any level, surprises me anymore.
I did what any hard core fashionista does in the face of mild annoyance, I went shopping.
I returned three hours later to Casa BB with a gorgeous new grey wool winter coat, purple clutch bag and matching gloves - truly fabulous !
As for the TF - still no word - I have of course deleted his number from my phone.
NEXT !
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