Friday, 27 August 2010

Happy Friday

It's funny how an anniversary can drive you just a little bit bonkers.

My birthday regularly sends me into a spiral of worrying about me not getting far enough in my life, whether its in my work or personal life.

I normally embark on a weird path of resistance - some crazy diet, a new outfit, a dvd marathon of bad romcoms or just having the girls round so we can tell tales, eat and drink and generally behave very badly.

For the past four years Sept 19th (H's birthday), always makes me a little sad and I won't lie, I find myself wondering how he's doing, regardless of me knowing how completely toxic he is for me.

My blues usually last for a few hours, then the trigger of his wife, children and totally perfect life, trips me neatly into a reality check of my past self inflicted stupidity, along with my mantra that you shouldn't care about someone who doesn't care about you.

Long after those first embers of lust have died, a date and a place can remind you of the situation and that certain someone so much that just for a moment you are completely overwhelmed.

Last night I settled down in front of my favourite guilty pleasure Big B and was sucked into the plight of poor C. Divorced after just 9 pathetic months, the day what would have been their fourth wedding anniversary, she found herself in house with her ex husband, totally wrecked.

"I still care about him. And yes I still love him, but I know it's over".

Poor cow, needs a hug I thought. To still be holding on to the past after so long, when Mr Wrong has so clearly moved on, is just a little tragic.

Of course, her ex has a new girlfriend who he is so into, he's got her name tattooed on his arm - the ultimate indicator of a soon to be over relationship !

I hope that C finds the strength to put the past to bed, learns her lesson and moves on to find happiness with the real deal, not someone who was the illusion of it.

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