Thursday, 18 February 2010


So how's G? Mmmm…..well……after a lovely non-Valentine Saturday meal, our first non-friends kiss …..which was ok, but kind of like kissing someone you know you shouldn’ do it, you like it and then you wonder whether you should have done it or not?

When we talk on the phone, it’s clear that he already thinks we’re dating and has mentioned three holidays (all for this year), two mini-breaks and asked me what I want to do at Christmas; which even for a multi-tasking freak like myself is a little excessive, but his actions don’t quite match up to his words.

I admit I'm confused. It’s strange watching someone who shouted so loudly about them showing you how great being with them could be, to then watch them sort of blow it without actually realising they are doing so.

Not blow it by not treating me like a princess . Yes, I can hear you all yelling I’d love that! Of course I would. Who wouldn’t? But reality and experience have taught me that such expectations are a tad unrealistic.

It's little things – like having a work schedule that is unbelievable. I’ve always known that G is a workaholic, even leaving me in the shade, but in my transition from friend to whatever, I’ve noticed a lack of life/diary balance and compromise that is truly stunning and perhaps is the reason he hasn’t had a girlfriend for the past three years.

Next there is text adversion – Can’t live with them can’t live without them - that’s texts not me ! G manages perfectly well. It takes him on average a day and a half to respond to a text message, whether they are short and sweet or one of my long rambly ones.

Fair enough if you are a super busy executive, but surely you have a moment to just say ‘Hi’ or even ‘I’m busy now, talk to you later’. The problem with not responding, is that when he actually replies the 'moment' is gone, or you wind up scrolling through you phone to find his last message.

During the week it's a given that most people are distracted by work. This weekend - which he already told me last weekend, he is ‘doing stuff with the guys’on, which cool and not at all unreasonable.

The good thing is I will find out whether he can spare a thought, a text or be bothered to phone or if he one of those people (and until recently I would have counted myself amongst them) for whom the chase/fantasy is the thrill.

In love with the idea of being in love. It's just such a pity that making it happen can be just a little bit ordinary. Even in the relationships I’ve had that have worked (I know, I can count those on one hand!), I’ve never been a week day girlfriend due to a combination of work commitments, different locations and just me being a busy butterfly socially, so I’ve always made an effort in terms of communication.

But from G's actions it would appear that dating/hanging someone means you don't have to communicate, because everything (including me apparently) is a foregone conclusion, which is a bit of a challenge for me.

F who I had dinner with last night, summed things up perfectly "B when you’re already friends, you don’t feel like you’ve got to make that much of an effort, which is why G is just doing what he’s always done with you” .

Ordinarily I take F says with a large grain of salt because he tends to be quite extreme in his thought process. However, on subject of men – H who he had pegged from the start as being "a toxic player" and DG who he offered to "deal with old skool style" after his double disappearance. I have learned to take F says as gospel, but only when it comes to men.

Don’t get me wrong I am not throwing in the towel or behaving with the same fickle contempt and disposition of some of my past love interests. I’m seeing how things pan out.

After all the measure of love is not as a poet once said what you are willing to give up for it, but the effort and time you take to nurture it and keep it going which determines the final outcome.

No comments: