Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Floods and Photos

After all of the drama of recent weeks it’s nice to get back to the lighter things in life which for me normally equates to writing, catching up with friends and family, eating and of course men.

You may have thought that I had given up on the whole darned dating koboddle, but as they say you can’t keep a good diva down, well not unless she’s lost it or has some other mega important reason to stay on her knees for a indeterminate space of time!.

Mr Invisible continues to sniff around, confirming the old adage, that it is always the people you can never see yourself with and never ever want to see naked, that are always the ones keenest on you !

He phoned me at 11:30 last night to complain bitterly about his house sale possibly falling through, due to a flood at his potential purchase. He prattled on about how terrible it all was and he was ‘still in shock’ (it’s a house sale not a death!) about the damage to the house.

I dread to how he would deal with a full on disaster or personal crisis ! I was my normal blunt self – harsh I know, but I just couldn’t help it!

“You need to make some quick decisions. Get onto the solicitors; come up with a list of queries/concerns you have regarding the sale going through and the renovation work required as a consequence of the flood and get some answers. Then weigh up your options. Look at the market around you, can you find a similar property to buy at such a competitive price? Do you want to pull out of the current house sale? Get as much information as possible, but for goodness sake, make a decision and stop all this woe is me crap!”

Just as men through the ages have an in-built radar which detects desperate women at close range, women have the same about wimpy men and by that I mean men who can’t make decisions or trust their own judgements – the super needy ones!! .

It was as if he wanted me to take over and solve his problems for him. I ended the conversation when he started talking about meeting up again…..why I have no idea ! Even Mr Invisible acknowledged at the end of our conversation

“You are a very strong woman” Too right. I am. Which is why we will never work out !

Compare those hysterics to the rather lovely BA (BodyAnimal – his tag name – I can vouch for the body, which is truly a beautiful thing, but the animal, well I have yet to explore that particular avenue!).

His opening gambit “Fancy a chat”, was direct and to the point, which makes a change. I instantly got stuck into teasing him about his obligatory topless shot on his profile.

Now don’t get me wrong, I did raise an eyebrow in a good way at his well honed body (it would have been quite rude and wrong not too!) but, why is it that men online think taking their shirt off is the only way they can attract a woman’s attention?.

You get the pretty boys and meat heads who take off their shirts to show you how much time they’ve spent in the gym. Which begs the question, how will they manage to fit a girlfriend into their super busy training schedules?

Also it is a taster of what you might win, if you meet their requirements – which is normally to be very young, very skinny and relatively inoffensive e.g. not needy, just grateful to be dating them and always knowing ‘your place’.

Then you get the brainy ones – hot smart boys who don’t think a picture of them in a t-shirt (preferable tight black or white and if they are wearing a nice pair of jeans then…..arrgh but I digress !) or sweater smiling will be enough to close the deal.

Granted there are a lot of truly shallow women out there, but there are also quite a few of us who think a good sense of humour and a cheeky smile, can outdo a self obsessed Adonis any day of the week!.

BA and I talking again tomorrow, so watch this space!

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