Well I thought that the impending descent of Valentine's Day would send me into a obligatory whirl of general misery and self loathing - which is sometimes the default remit of singletons, who find their status highlighted in neon, on this the most romantic of all days.
Instead I am chilled out and optimistic about the future. Why? G and I (who's G I hear you ask ? - a friend who's just come clean about fancying the pants off me ... I know, hooray! I'm not so scary after all apparently).
After 'confessing' something which has apparently been on his mind for a while - how he feels - I know, it sounds so Mills and Boon when a guy says it! G is 'kidnapping' me on Saturday (not Sunday, because doing anything on Valentine's Day if you haven't pre-arrangedpre-booked it, is without a doubt going to be an expensive type of hell!) for some fun.
The other reason we are not going out on Valentine's Day is that as he's doing stuff with the guys, which in the past would have wound me up and made me question just how desirable or worthy enough I was. Now I see it for what it is one date, with one boy who happens to be a friend. If it works great, if not, I'll chalk it up to experience and move on.
The whole situation is a bit of a weird one. G has alway behaved like the schoolboy in the playground who pulls your hair. He has always hated any boyfriend I have ever had and always seems supremely happy when I am at turns happily or miserably single.
Am I worried about our friendship? Yes of course, but sometimes what you're looking for could be right under your nose..I'd be a fool not to give it a chance right?
Also for the first time in a very long time I don't regard finding love as the big must happen in my life right now, this very minute. There are so many other things going on.
Tying up the last remanants of my life as gopher to HWMBO (so tedious and seemingly neverending!), exploring new opportunities which surprisingly keep coming my way and cotinuing to enjoy my life run by me not others.
And what am I actually doing on Valentine's Day. I'm not sitting alone on the sofa or crying in my latte in a coffee shop somewhere.I'm meeting up with the girls and we are going have a meal (at home), watch dvd's, drink wine and enjoy the gift of friendship - one of the greatest loves of all.
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