Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Tantrums and Tiaras

The mark of a truly great pageant queen is how she copes which the tiara which she has long dreamed of gently nestling on her head, is cruelly snatched away from her at the last grasp, by an underdog.

The evening wear parade followed by the Q & A gave a revealing insight to the fashion sense and brain power of the contestants.

Answering any of 11 questions, previously given to the ladies, the tension was increased by each contestant having to select an envelope from the host.

The first two did well, but the third contestant tipped the audience into a bawdy rabble of approval, when she discussed how she would clean up the Caribbean, by taking a firm hand on crime.

You see there is nowhere you can avoid election fever !

Contestant four was LMM who managed to answer an incomprehensible question about green issues, even managing to end on a cheeky note that had the audience hollering. Things were looking good !

A short sharp no answer by contestant 5, the only sponsored representative, until she opened her mouth and made the girls on EastEnders sound classy; and two okish answers from the remaining contestants brought the official proceedings to an end, but heralded yet more entertainment.

A male singer stepped on the stage who was so in love with himself, that I think he failed to notice that he couldn’t sing particularly well, hitting a series of pitch bathed notes that weren’t helped by an aging sound system.

Thankfully the girl singer that followed him sang a feisty carnival tinged song, which for the first and only time on the night, resulted in the audience applauded the artist back for and encore.

The host who did a sterling job, considering she had to ‘fill’ more than once during the evening and her attempts at audience participation where met with all the warmth of an igloo by the audience, seemed genuinely excited about results.

First came the "Thank you for being you awarsds", - ‘Ms Website’ (public vote), Ms Elegance (LMM won by a country mile!), Miss Sunshine(no not really, but I couldn't resist throwing that one in!)

Ms Photogenic and Ms Carivogue went to J the pre-show favourite,. However, the drama really kicked off when the second runner up was announced.

In the lead up to the competition LMM had raving about J as being of the girls’ being ‘beyond gorgeous’ and being so photogenic she was “a photographer’s dream”. I didn’t see it. She was pretty sure, apparently the pre-competition favourite, but not stunning and quite sulky looking.

“And the second runner-up is J!” Suddenly it look like her world had collapsed. She lowered her eyes to the floor and seemed to be rooted to the spot before finally shuffling across the stage and having a tiny crown placed on her head.

“And the first runner-up is …..LMM!”. I leapt out of my seat and started threw down a few whoops, before I noticed the rest of LMM clan doing the same in the middle of the audience.

LMM was grinning broadly, having first grasped when her name was called. She looked lovely in a plunge line, floor-length green taffeta dress and smiled and waved at her family and me.

While she was enjoying her moment of glory, behind her, J could stand the shame of losing no more and as her legs gave way into an buckle mode, she was helped off the stage, where she dissolved into tears.

Then it was time for the big one…the winner…who went from shocked to embarrassed within 5 short minutes as carnation crown failed to stay on her head, despite the attempts of the host, the previous year’s winner and other assorted hand maidens…priceless

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