Ever since Sex and The City captured our imagination, we have all had a SATC moment with our girlfriends.
Mine came when I met with LL, AA and S, who if I'm honest in the whole time I've known her, has distinguished herself as being one of the most boring people I have ever met - even the trumping MC's replacement!
This time she was like a more loose flakier version of her self, who was surprisingly funny with it. The reason - alcohol and the walk of shame that follows a woman who makes it to work by the skin of her teeth after 'one of those nights'.
While our table service was crap ( understaffed, disorganised and clueless as to how to serve a small roomful of diners), our conversation more than made up for it.
Inevitably work came up as both AA and L shared the joy of no longer having to deal with E. E either loves you or hates you. There is no middle ground and being at the sharp end of his wrath, is like being caught in a trap, from which the only way to escape is to eat your own limbs.
While AA looked great, I was rubbish hearing how much her confidence had been eroded by E. It was all the more painful, because she is such a warm, talented individual.
L is firmly on at the other end of the E trap and is now in a role where her talent and opinions are valued and if she just manages to avoid acting on her office crush (hot, moody and unobtainable and therefore dangerously attractive), it could be a transforming gig.
She delighted us with gossip that one of her former heads of department (a colleague of E) actually asked her to come back and work for her - oh the delicious irony !
By the time our main arrived with all the urgency of an injured tortoise, we were on fire, erupting with laughter and being that special type of rowdy only women can ever achieve; which is when S stepped up with her hot date debrief.
She met James Bond ( nicknamed due to his Scottish accent and immaculate dress sense - suited, booted and super tall).
Now before I get all heated about why nearly everyone I know seems to get a result via internet dating - her date was of course smack bang in my peer group hottie category - who of course on the prowl for a young hot mess.
By the end of night a hot mess is exactly what she was, so mischievously drunk that she couldn't resist telling him that she was a nano second away from 'mounting him' !
As it was, she just made do with a hot and heavy make out session and some pretty naughty nightime sex texts, that made for very, very interesting morning after reading !
Having laid out her store and after much prodding by us S admitted she wants to convert JB in a boyfriend. AA the baby of the group who has just got married then mentioned the 5 date rule that clinched her a husband
Date one show up, make it clear you are interested - but don't go home with him.
Date two - make sure you look so hot it hurts, a chaste lingering kiss goodbye, but go home alone.
Date three - the activity date - find out what he's made of, reward his efforts by an extended snog fest and of course leave alone...you'll call him!
Date four - the one with the dinner and the wine - make out all you want and then....you know the drill......leave.
Date five - aka Back of the net....if you can't play it cool anymore ...don't.
Result - one boyfriend wooed without even knowing it.......!
Arrr if only life was that simple!
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Experience shows that success is due less to ability than to zeal. The winner is he who gives himself to his work, body and soul.
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