While Big D is off climbing Kilimanjaro, I have conquered my own mountain and I am delighted to say that my final online dating subscription is finally up. I thought I'd cancelled all of them, but this is the very last one.
I dread to think how much money I have wasted in my search for Mr OK.
Notice how he's gone from Mr Perfect, to Mr Right Now, to Mr Ok - see how I have been crushed....or just realised that I had to lowered my expectations to meet my apparently not so hot man pool.
But dating money pit aside, I have to admit I feel a huge sense of relief. For all my declarations of being young, free and fabulous, after a while, even when you are annoyingly optimistic like I am, eventually it does get you down when yet another carefully considered email is ignored by the charming man (or you thought he was) from his picture.
Then you wonder why the only guys who do contact you or you actually go out on dates with, turn out to be weird, unsuitable, vaguely nuts or so totally not your type. That's when you wonder what you put in your profile to attract them.
I turned to advice from RA (a two year dating internet veteran)whose internet dating has at long last, resulted in her finding the rather lovely fireman (who of course was the one man I know about online who was actually looking for a relationship not a transition playmate, a sympathy shag or a yes woman).
Sod's law of course means that instead of just enjoying being with him, she is still refusing to believe that doesn't have a secret wife and kids stashed away somewhere, or some other deep dark secret.
Yes the rest of us are wondering why she doesn't just calm down and enjoy not only the fact that he's smart and fun, but that he plays a mean game of find my helmet !
After she had reviewed my latest potential suitors with rolled eyes and I told her I was over the internet she replied.
"I couldn't agree more. It still amazes me the guys who contacted me....you know sometimes I'd sit there looking at their faces,reading some pretty offensive, sexual emails and think to myself "really....you really think you should be with me!".
I'm doing the same thing now looking at these guys and I look at you and you can do so much better! You definitely need to take a break like I did, otherwise it can really get you down!"
I might add at this point that RA is a 5"6, rosy cheeked, curvy ash blonde hot mess, with a chest large enough to defy gravity, but not so glorious that she can't see her feet! She's like a sexier, funnier much more adorable Bridget Jones.
If that's how she felt before the fireman, then hell I'm not in such bad company!
I'm not sure what's going to happen next, but it definitely doesn't include waiting for a mail alert in my inbox. I am going back to dating old school!
You know, your friend says "I have someone who's perfect for you" . Of course they never are, but its always amusing to find out just how desperate your friends think you are!
Then there's events (this year we have more bank holidays then you could shake a stick at!) and dare I say general networking to find a guy.
Internet dating is great - you are thrown into a pool with hopefully like minded people and if you invest enough time,money and energy, there is just a chance you might find someone you like.
Or you can build your dating confidence. Find a shag buddy, or hook up with the one to get you over the one who broke your heart.
Or like me you can learn about yourself. Deal with those unrealistic love aspirations and emerge aware that you don't have to flog a dead horse, just because you think you should.
You do deserve one of the good guys and maybe having giving it a good go, the internet isn't the right place for you to try and find him.
EPILOGUE
Update on MC's replacement - smart, homely and bless her little heart, still as dull as dish water ! I've reloaded my ipod.....zzzz !
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