Another shocking day with HWMBO who even via remote link-up, still managed to make me feel like I was completely incompetent. Only an after work visit to my Dad's, who let cheerfully let me rant for a solid 20 minutes about my crap day, then set my world to rights by cooking me a lovely meal and offering me some much needed support which helped me unwind.
A phone call with G put the whole day in perspective, as I was able to step into my favourite role that of love guru. G has just returned from a so-called love break with LightswitchGuy aka "The Fool".
Lightswitch guys, for those of you who have yet to experience this particular male delight, are guys who hot for you one day and freezing cold the next. Their behaviour is as inconsistent as your hair on a really bad hair day and no matter how hard you try to understand them, you will always be left in a state of confusion.
Both of them had a great time until the end the holiday, when he first went down with food poisoning and then she followed suit. While she was laid up, he decided to cheer himself up, by reading some of her text messages to him.........on her phone.
Oh I hear you all say, a big no, no. Just like your mum reading your diary when you are a teenager and her confronting you with the contents of it, there are certain things that just aren't done, when you are in a relationship.
"That is so out of order" I empathised with her. "That's not the half of it" she wailed. " He found a message I sent to an ex to come round for a booty call, when we were on a break". My ears pricked up.
The words "we were on a break", mean different things to men and women. To men it is an opportunity to get over a former loved one, usually by getting on top of someone else. For women it can mean the episode from Friends when Rachel finds out Ross 'cheated' on her , despite his insisting "We were on a breakkkkkkk!!!!!!" or it just means a return visit, to an old hunting ground for some 'I'm still attractive' reassurance and the inevitable revenge shag.
"Not only did he call my booty call and then say wrong number, he won't stop texting me" G ranted. "So he's wanting to do the whole where did we go wrong, heartbreak by dissection, I knew you'd be unfaithful to me gig huh" I mused. "He's doing my head in" groaned G
"No cherub" I said "You're both doing each other heads in and have loved all the drama that goes with it, the whole time you guys have been dating. The minute he saw that text you were over. You can't ever go back there and if you do, he is never going to let you forget it" .
"I know you're right but...sod it I am going have some Pimms, chillout and ......" "And" I said , ...turn off that bloody phone, so you aren't tempted to read those messages of his". If only my own uneventful love life could be sorted out so easily !
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