Friday, 2 March 2012

The Dilemma

J. J. Jackson's DilemmaImage via Wikipedia So I know it was coming but now it's here, my heart is a pile of mush, while my head keeps telling me to keep it together and stick to my guns.

R has been in contact a lot recently via lots of texts, which seems to be the favoured language that some guys adopt, when they are trying to 'feel' their way back into a 'situation' !

Without sounding smug I'm not surprised. Our break-up was so abrupt and unexpected.

It took me totally by surprise. It bugged me so much that it left me questioning how, even when I date a 'good guy', things turn out to be just as complicated as my standard 'non-commitment' guy.

First he tried to appeal attempt to my humourous side with :

"Hey check out the oops list at http// and put a smile on your face today :0) R "

....and then built up to a dramatic high yesterday with:

"Hi BB how's life. My Grandma died a few weeks ago and my Dad has just been diagnosed with cancer, so I guess life is delivering a few challenges at the moment xx".

What could I say ?

"R, I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma's death and Dad's diagnosis. I'm holding good thoughts for you and your family x"

He was obviously reaching out for support and understanding, but do I let myself go there again?

He broke up from me, with all the subtlety of a schoolboy swapping one schoolgirl crush for another and did a 360 in terms of where he saw our relationship utimately heading.

Half of the battle I've found in the dating game is owning your baggage ( and wow do I have a lot of that !) and knowing what you do and don't want. Now that I've figured that stuff out, right now however much I'd like to, I don't want to be a rock or fix it girlfriend, for someone who isn't honest with themselves and disappears instead of working things through.

I deserve better.
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