Last night I went with friends to the theatre to see 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. It started off light and fluffy, nurtured by quirky casting of Anna Friel. This little moppet (as she still resembles a teenager), started out in Brookside, has gone on to sparklein the La La Land of TV success, having previously set many a teenager boys' pulse into racing anxiety in the 80's, with a short, sweet girl on girl kiss.
By the mid-way part of the production, the cosy Audrey Hepburn Holly of the Hollywood classic had been exposed and stripped bare. First by her life as a high class hooker, next by the derobing of Ms Friel.
The female form is truly a an artistic miracle. At its best, with its soft curves and fleshy angles, it is powerful enough to create and enthrall while initiating a delicious anticipation in the eyes of a beholder; waiting hungrily to see it diversed of any cover.
When Ms Friel stood on stage naked, I was overcome by a combination of horror and pity. She was practically emacipated from top to bottom, devoid of absolutely any muscle tone or bulk. This tiny, mum of one, stood proudly on stage, displaying breasts which hung like empty water balloons, sealed by bullet hard (due to the ice-cold theatre temperature) nipples. As if this wasn't enough fher lat round bottom looked like an abino abandoned on an island of colour.
Looking down at my perfect double D's I was instantly comforted by the realisation, that my love of exercise, plus real food, means that I would never have to take off my clothes and be confronted by such a miserable sight.
Breakfast at Tiffanys ! Try a three course meal Anna ! Trust me you need one! For those of you who think that this diva is living up to her name - and being a jealous bitch, consider this - what type of message is Ms Friel sending to her four year daughter, as she sees Mummy slipping into 8 year olds clothes and chasing a lettuce leaf around a plate. Eating next to nothing means you can look just like Mummy.....I rest my case !
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