I've never fully appreciated the joys of dating from a guys' perspective before, that is until after much prodding by moi, I finally persuaded Big D that it was time to call stop going for the'bimbos' he persists in 'dating'.
I will give him his dues though, as he waves good bye to his 'dog' phase he has 'dated' an alarming amount of pretty young things since I've known him. Most of whom unluckily for them have fallen hook, line and sinker for him - the little stinker!.
But only now has he realised that despite being young and gorgeous,it doesn't always mean that the one you are with can
a) Conduct an adult conversation in or out of the bedroom and
b) Be able to relate to where you are in life in terms of wanting to settle down with that special somebody and have a few kids running around!
It seems his time on Kilimanjaro has focused his mind and of course, he picked my brains about the best sites.
What was lovely about our conversation, was his nervousness about the whole online dating thing, which is ridiculous as Big D is a great package for the online pool of lovely ladies he is just about to dip his toe into.
He's not conventionally good looking, more cute I'd say, bright without being a nerd, but with ice blue eyes that draw you in, a lovely smile, a naughty sense of humour and ridiculously good dress sense.
He's also a Dad something which I think is cool, because he is a great one, but because we are diving into serious waters, he was contemplating whether to mention online or not.
I told him,
"Big D you have to be honest and say you have a son. Particularly because he is so important to you and whoever takes you on has to realise from the get go that you come with a rather lovely extra !!! Trust me as soon as they see a picture of you two together any sensible woman would melt"
His fear which maybe we ladies don't have, because of our tendency to dissect our relationships and selves with a surgeons precision before soldiering on regardless; is being vulnerable and honest enough to put a snippet of himself out in the world for judgement, without the benefit of the accompanying patter, banter or several glasses of wine he'd using have.
I told him he will be fine, as young women will see him as a Sugar Daddy and grown-ups like me, will see him as the real deal.
I have just one concern.
Has he really let go of being a dog ?
I adore Big D like a brother. I want him to be beyond happy, but he has to be willing to let his guard down.
By that I mean stop cracking jokes and being deliciously diverting, long enough for a prospective partner to recognise what I, his other friends and family have always known about him, that is he can only ever be the real deal, when he decides to be.
He can't play at it, which is a little bit of what he's being doing up until now, hence previous bad behaviour and a trail of broken hearts.
I truly believe that our hearts and our unconditional love are the most precious parts of us. When we come get involved with people who break them or just fracture our trust they don't understand the long-term repercussions of their actions.
Big D definitely has walls, but once you get past them there's an incredible person behind them. I have my fingers crossed that he finds someone who makes him the man he can be, and who appreciates him now and when he gets to that point.
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