Monday, 2 April 2012

He Had It Coming !

SMS: Text Messaging Gets RedesignedSMS: Text Messaging Gets Redesigned (Photo credit: pouwerkerk) Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and sometimes you just have to tell it like it is. Well R had both barrels of BB's shotgun coming.

After weeks of text messages (ignored by me) from him, I pumped him full of verbal bullets and am now praying that he has finally got the message.

After a break-up as abrupt as ours, any reasonable person who had done the dumping would assume that the dumpee might not want to talk to them anytime soon.

Also any reasonable person would not think they could resume talking to the dumpee, without clearing the air first. Wrong on both counts where R is concerned, which is why I had to pull him on his behaviour.

I did it via his favourite communication mode - via text.

"R there is something you've been avoiding, but I have to call you out on - our break-up. You dumped me without discussion or even a face to face. I don't hear a word from you for ages and then you start texting me. You don't apologise for how things ended. You don't say I made a mistake, or I could have handled things better. You don't make any acknowledgement about us breaking up and more importantly the cowardly way you did it. R you clearly have stuff you need to deal with and some personal work to do on youself. I don't know what you want from me and honestly I find your behaviour nuts. You are and have confused the hell out of me".

Did he respond? Of course not. What could he say? I don't know what's going on with him, but he lost the right to expect me to give two figs when we split.

I've never been someone whose stayed friends with my ex's. I can honestly think of nothing worse. Deny  it or not, even if you let time pass before you start talking again, one of you always kinda hopes to rekindle the past - sober or drunk (you know who you are :0) !!

Sitting there trying to make polite conversation with an ex, catching up and maybe awkwardly discussing new partners may be for some people, but it's just not for me. It would be easy to go back to R, but the reason I haven't is because he broke my trust.

I don't trust easily anymore. I used to trust the world wholeheartedly and took a series of almighty universal kickings for it.  It took me what seemed like forever, to realise that just because I would go above and beyond for people, didn't usually mean they'd do the same for me and when I trusted, it was often misplaced.

When you've dated as long as I have, you get to know yourself incredibly well - your strengths and weaknesses and you learn from those quirks of character and own them.

You also come to appreciate what you can't accept or don't want to deal with. Ms Fix It BB left the building years ago and she's not going back to dealing with guys who are players, don't know what they want and refuse to man up to their mistakes, when they make them.

If I hear something from R after that text message, he's an idiot.  I mean it a real idiot.
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