Saturday, 21 April 2012

She Loves To Love !!

Got a set of ping pong balls in for a project....
Got a set of ping pong balls in for a project. Had to play with them before anything else (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I've always thought (and this is just in my humble experience!), those women I know who have elected to act like players, have largely been pants at it.

It seems their emotions have tended to get in the way.

That added to a failure to separate sex from love or lust (depending on the guy), has ensured that somehow, they've always ended up on the losing team.

Dinner with Ms Thang reinforced my beliefs. Ms Thang is one of my more ridiculously beautiful, fabulous girlfriends, who has a great job and who life in general, consistently smiles on. 

But (and this is a big But), she has a unmistakeable talent for hooking up with guys who aren't right for her. To cut a long story short, she always falls for unavailable guys.

Unavailable, emotionally - the guys that say the right thing to keep you sweet, but never say the things that take a casual fling to the next level.  Or physically - due to work, other girlfriends (I kid you not!), sport, their guy friends etc.

Ms Thang insists that her men must be tall (well taller than her anyway!), handsome, have nice homes and cars, bad arse careers - like bankers, traders, senior executive chefs and finally on the personality front; have enough of a flash of arrogance about them to attract her attention, hold it, but never boss her around !

What makes her choices even more puzzling is the fact, that every guy she dates is a direct carbon copy of the last guy, and the guy before oh, and the guy before. Meaning that whichever way she plays her love game, the final result is almost invariably the same.

She ends up DIL - Disappointed In Love!!

Currently she is sort of seeing two guys. Contestant number one who I'll call Mr Ping Pong, because she keeps breaking up with, then going back to on again is in hospitality and therefore works crazy hours. Pinning him down, even via a sexy text alert, has been hard work.

Stir in the fact that he has a harem of other women, who he is also 'seeing' and I wonder what the hell she sees in him at all.

Yet this is the guy, she candidly said is going to be her baby's daddy and who is aware that she's trying to get pregnant, whether he wants a child (he apparently doesn't right now) or not !

Contestant number two is Mr Banker - one of those trader guys who works all the hours in the day, is studying for a MBA and is a few short months away from leaving the country to settle abroad.

After their initial whirlwind romance, when he was so reliably devoted to her, that she nearly dumped him (yes, nice guys freak her out!),he told her that because he was leaving the country soon, they should probably call it a day.

Her response, was to suggest the old 'friends with benefits' gig, as Mr PP always seemed to be busy and it would mean she still got to have her cake and eat it. There's one small problem with that ideal scenario.

By  picking two guys who are essentially the same, she just multiplied her problem of the guy who never has any time. Yes, you've guessed it Mr B was and still is, too busy to get together with her either.

So instead of being the 'let's go to dinner, quality time or just plain booty call girl, she doesn't really see either of them.

"I haven't had it in weeks !" she wailed.

"You know what you're problem is?" I said smiling.

"You won't give the average joe a go. You know, the guy who works a regular 9 - 5. A plumber or a guy who works in a bar or a shop. What about a builder ?You won't give any of those type of guys the time of day.  They actually have some time !!"

"I'm not a snob, it's just that I've got certain expectations from my men" she replied sheepishly.

The expectation of any good relationship is caring, sharing, friendship, love and spending time with each other. If your love list partner (or partners!) doesn't give you any of those things, then it really is time to own up to being a love snob, burn that must-have list of yours; or look forward to more girlie nights out and an empty bed when you get home.
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