A celebration dinner with G, (at last after three years of working by day and studying at night and on the weekends, I have a 2:1 degree in Media and Business...yah me!), led to the inevitable subject of the Fool.
My main focus as G gave me my update, was taken up by the slow, savored demolition of my katsu chicken and rice bowl. A hungry diva is as dangerous, as a fashionista at a Jimmy Choo sale - the huntress zeros in on her prey, sharpens her claws (or chopsticks in this case) and then pounces. She takes no prisoners !
The arrival of chilli squid and duck dumplings served as a delicious distraction for me, as G talked and talked.
"I had to have a few harsh words with him B. He just doesn't understand how busy I am at the moment with work and stuff. Honestly, it's like going out with a fifteen year old schoolboy, not a grown man. I told him go to Manchester (the Fool has just been granted a bursary for his MBA) and make some friends and stop being so bloody controlling"
"But you know this all comes from you cheating G...I mean taking 'a break'. from him" ( I don't think I will ever grow tired of laughing 'we were on a break' line, it is such bollocks!).
"I know, but if he had any concept of a woman's personal space, he wouldn't have gone through my phone in the first place and found out I'd cheated on him". I nearly choked on my squid.
"So you're saying it's his own fault then?" - I snorted loudly. Near hysterical laughter followed from the both of us, loud enough to secure a few filthy looks from some other diners.
I couldn't resist pulling out my phone to show her the Fool's last text message to me "He's just trying to connect with you B" "Well he needs to stop"I said sharply. "If he thinks that telling me about how horrible you are, is a way of us bonding he needs to work a little harder on his trash talking. He is completely rubbish at it. No wit, no irony, no humour, what do you see in this guy?".
More laughter, food and drinks followed, culminating in one of those profound, but at the same time totally ridiculous statements your friends sometimes make. " I want him to be a well-educated, well-rounded person B. At the moment he's just raw material for a dominating, nit-picking woman.
"When's the wedding?" I said laughing.
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