Wednesday, 29 July 2009

It's All In The Body and the Voice

When I workout, I think, people watch and amuse myself with the stories that unfold in front of me and the ones that friends tell me. A's latest encounter with a beautiful interior designer came to a premature end because of one little thing....his voice. His beautiful body didn't quite marry with a Julian Clary vocal and more camp guises than a drag queen at a beauty shop. So does the beauty of a man's body, excuse any other shortcomings he might have ?

I looked for the answer at my gym. My daily journeys to the gym have uncovered another dodgy habit to add to my growing list. I am a dirty gym watcher! The joy of perving over beautiful bodies remains a guilty pleasure I am not letting go of anytime soon !

There are three types of gym boys. First are the Muscle Boys. Sweaty adonis types bulging from head to toe with muscles, who lift heavy weights because they are there. These beautiful men admire themselves in the mirror, after every single set of reps, just to see what change has been wrought in their bodies. The muscle boys are distinguished by their competitive nature, a nature which subconsciously leads them to compete against the guy on the next bench to see who has the biggest muscles.

Type two are the Wannabes. These men have been lured to the gym by the promise of a body beautiful, which will only ever appear, if they actually put some hard work in! Wannabes have the right equipment (running gear, trainers and sometimes even head bands), but they have fretful, weak willpower and the durability of a melting marshmallow. When they are on the cross-trainer, they invariably get bored looking around to see if anyone hot is close by, or to see if anyone else around is as bored as they are.

A tiny section of the Wannabes are formerMuscle Boys. Contentment, middle-age spread, married or divorced life, in addition to long hours at work, laziness and children; mean that these guys don't have the time they once had to devote themselves to their body beautiful. Gym mirrors in which they once used to admire themselves, now serve as reminders of their past glories.

Finally there are the Lost Boys...or the hopeless cases. This category can be subdivided into corporate boys who've come to talk business while they 'train'. These gym sessions are distinguished by their infrequency, even mediocrity and and are often used as office watercooler conversation starters. And let us not forget the 'Fatties' ridiculously overweight men who hire personal trainers in a desperate battle with the bulge and spend their whole personal training session complaining aout how knackered they are.

Argh don't you just love working out!

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