Other People's Boyfriends

Since the unfortunate Facebook incident (see The Truth about Men, Women and....), I have been focusing my efforts on my body beautiful. I have been to the gym every day, sometimes twice daily. I have religiously abstained from my favourite treats (anything sweet!) and to my surprise a slightly cheeky swan is emerging (my gym kit is so tight and fierce, that I look like an extra from Fame).

My bum has transformed fromsquashy to pert peach again, my arms are firm and my legs are returning to their former 'strong leggy pins' status. I'm enjoying being fit and dare I say it looking kinda hot.

In the midst of my fitness frenzy, there has been a disruption to the force (just once in a while a diva has to make a Star Wars reference!), the return of the Fool aka G's on/off boyfriend. As you all know, I am not a fan.

My knowledge of his more insecure side - "You don't need me!" " How could you cheat on me!" "We were on a breakkkk!" - has come primarily from angry phone calls from G to me, after their latest arguement. Ordinarily this wouldn't register a flicker from me, in terms of sheer annoyance, but for his irritating insistence in involving me in their rows via unwanted text messaging; usually pleading for me to see his point of view, which makes me feeling decidedly uncomfortable.

I have been piggy in the middle several times in my life - most notably when when AS and LM were fighting over an Active Sindy doll on "Bring Your Toys To School Day" at primary school. Despite my best peacemaker efforts, Sindy ended up a dismembered torso.

Then when I was in college. P was cheating on D with T. Unfortunately, P and T decided to share their innermost thoughts with me, knowing full well I wouldn't say anything. The only problem was that when it all came out D, thought I should have have told her....yes, that age old dilemma.....to tell or not to tell ?

On both occasions I was left with the distinct impression that being piggy in the middle, was the place I wanted to be. When the Fool's name, flashed up on my mobile, I winched. Reading his message which denounced G as "....a real sulky arse at times", pissed me right off. After all this idiot is bad mouthing one of my best friends and I don't appreciate it one little bit.

Then he rang me. I pressed end call, when I saw his name flash up. I called G to ask once again exactly why she was going with such a twat, she told me that he was joking with me!! Some relationships are just too weird to try and understand, let alone be piggy in the middle of.