It seems almost daily or weekly, something appears in a newspaper or magazine, or a throwaway comment from some apparently well meaning smugee ("Your time will come". "You're adopting what a great idea, we thought of that before we had our two naturally"), reminds me of not only my singleton status, but the reality that I may be one of the 30 percent of graduate thirtysomething women, who will never conceive naturally, or have a successful long-term relationship.
Coming home to an empty house at the best of times is incredibly quiet and very boring, but some days it's just downright lonely. There I said it, lonely doesn't mean you want to kill yourself, it just means that sometimes it would be great to have someone to come home to.
It's no secret the reason I work the long hours that I do, first, because I get a buzz out of it and I like to challenge myself; but also because I know that even before I put the key in the lock , there would be nothing or no one on the other side of it - an animal addition to my household is now immitent - it's a toss up between a goldfish or a rabbit (oops forgot, got one of those already!).
On my answer phone was a weekly check-in from my Mum whose answer to any kind of emotional crisis of any level is "to pray" and one of my acquaintances who wants to 'catch up', while her other half is out of town on business. Yep, I am one popular lady today.
On a bad day, this could lead to a mild bout of melancholy (sugar rush, followed by some really dodgy easy listening music) but today I dealt with it optimistically. What's to say that just like my degree (which I still have no idea how I managed to pass), that things won't turn out well....fingers crossed and where did I put that lucky heather again !
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