"You can have anything you want but you can't have everything"
(or a gentle little reminder of the necessity to choose our focus in life).
Which is exactly what The Grumpster has done. Yes he is no more (which means I am now going to call him MC) and this little diva's smile has been turned upside down big time.
My table buddy is leaving...this Friday!
Why does something always go wrong on my birthday week?
I should have known something was up when MC, ushered me downstairs for a latte in our bar.
For the record I can now reliably tell you that going for coffee at work is in my humble experience not a good thing. It either means you are in for a telling off, an off the record chat or....as in this case one of your buddies is leaving sob !
While I just thought MC's grumpiness was down to being a stressed out (well how else are you going to feel when you are up to your eyes in work), he's actually been completely miserable.
As I listened to him running through his time with the team, I was gutted. First, because I hate to think that anyone has been as miserable at work as I was working for HWMBO and then, because it made me look at myself and ask what kind of navel gazing, unaware pants friend have I been, not to pick up on the fact that he was so unhappy?
I am a total idiot sometimes. The funny thing is, that if I've got to know him and like him so much while he's been 'fronting' (smiling on the outside, yelling inside), then MC at full speed or when he is happy is going to be beyond fun. I am soooo staying in touch with him !
I am mega happy and super proud of him for having the balls to bail out of a situation that wasn't right for him. I can definitely learn something from him. It takes a lot for me to do the same.
I don't know whether its stupidity, stubbornness or fear, but you have to push me to a near breakdown before I leave a work situation. I always felt like I had something to prove. At least I thought I did, before I worked for HWMBO.
What a bitter lesson was learned there.
We spend so much time at work. Sometimes we work to impress our superiors. To secure our position. Sometimes we just work too darned hard period, missing out on friends and family stuff.
Or sometimes like I do way too much, you bury yourself in the one thing you you always feel safe and secure in and that you know you can control entirely.
But at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, would you rather do what you love, or carry on 'fronting' because you're afraid to take a chance and go after what you deserve?
MC - I am going to cry on Friday without a doubt, but I know we'll stay in touch, so here's to lattes, funny text messages and before I forget, getting to know you at full speed !
Big hugs,
BB
-x-
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