Why Do Bolters Never Change Their Spots ?

Awhile back I wrote about an affliction which sometimes befalls men who want to have their cake and eat it and then act like single guys - these men are called Bolters !!

When K told me she was back with S again (they've been on and off since we were all at college together), I bit my tongue hard.

S is a nice enough guy, but he's fear of commitment is almost an urban legend. His regular pattern with K is - break-up, get back together, break-up, both see other people, both hear about the other one seeing other people, then you've guessed it... get back together again. And so it goes on.

So you can see why I've held my tongue. My shoulder has been cried on one too many times. This time I have totally butted out, until a series of ranty texts from K.

He's done it again! We were doing great, hanging out together and then he does his disappearing act. I expected it as he always pulls it when we start seeing each other again.

I finally get to speak to him and it's "I need my space"! What the fuck is that about and why does he have to be such an idiot?

He acts like he wants to be with me, then says he doesn't want a relationship.

Unfortunately for her I was in 'tell it like it is' mood. S has prior Bolter form and regardless of what K thinks, he has never promised her anything, but she conveniently forgets this.

Ok stop ! I told you point blank from the get go, that S is absolutely not in the right place, right now, to have the full on, 'real relationship' you want. He has major, major issues to deal with first and they aren't all wrapped up with you.

You can either accept and own the situation. Stop navel gazing and trying to dissect what he's said. His words and behaviour are all the answer you need. Life is too short. If you don't like how you are being treated, then stop seeing him.

You're still my girl, but really you need to WAKE UP!
Love

BB
-xx-

Now she's not answering her phone and she ignored my Facebook poke.

The truth can be a painful thing, but burying your head in the sand is sometimes worse.