The last six months of my llife have been in the paraphrased works of Charles Dickens 'the best of times and the worst of times'. The best because I've finally landed on my feet and am working as a Comms/Marketing Manager to a super cool brand (the one I did the interview with!) and every week at the moment, seems to be filled with opportunities, events and just good stuff.
A total miracle, considering I still have a full time day gig to pay the bills, which I am sincerely grateful for, (temping for a year prior to this daytime gig, has cured me of any work apathy), as it leaves me free to pursue the love what I do gig by night, with all guns blazing.
I'm working for a brand that I'm passionate about, while networking like a maniac and hanging with / networking some truly inspiring and wonderful people. I feel so lucky and blessed right now.
What's going on with Big B and me? Well sad to say we're all washed up and I'm gutted. Really gutted!
Remember that miserable year of temping I had, when literally everything else in my life went down the toilet? Well that's the same black hole Big B's wading through at the moment.
I've watched sadly, as he's pulled away from me and everyone else, trying to make sense of finding himself in such an awful place. My heart hopes he gets through everything and comes back, but right now I honestly don't know.
The worst thing is...I think he's the one...I know, blooming diva's law !
On the flipside of my diva universe, is the ever-present cancer which continues to invade my Mum's body, despite the fact that the doctors said they'd nailed it. Bless her Lionheart though, Mum is kicking back hard, wrestling with a demon that's sapped her strength and energy, but she won't allow to take her spirit.
It's also robbed her of her beloved hair ! Mum being Mum, she's already lined up a selection of wigs, to ensure she continues looking her best - yep, I get my divadom from her ! More painfully, cancer has transformed her from a vibrant, feisty fireball into a dreadfully thin, perennially tired,slow moving shell; that is trying desperately to do everything she's always done, at exactly the same hurried pace.
In between me pleading with her to slow down, say no more often (the world will still continue to turn!) and to take the time to listen to her body and rest; she tells me to do my best every day. To promise her, to go after every ambition and goal I aspire to (without trampling on anyone or being shady of course,) and most of all to be happy.
I'm doing my best to live up to that promise, but some days it's hard. So I take everything one day at a time and I'm happy to say that today was a good day.
Saturday, 12 October 2013
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
The Crying Game
Life is definitely on the up in BB's world.
I've been channelling my day-time thwarted creative into night-time writing, playing music to the max on my sound system, hanging out with my friends and generally being beyond grateful for how chilled and drama free (for the first time in a long while) my life is right now.
Hanging out with Pop on Sunday turned up my life dial up to heartbreaker volume.
Although I hate to admit it, he's finally (after years of defying it) beginning to age. You can actually see his body and mind slowing down, as well as watching mornfully as he's forced to take mountains of tablets, for nearly every new aliment that attaches itself to him.
The more frail he bcomes, more I treasure his sarky don't give a damn rants, memory laiden tales, wise words and his golden ability to somehow maintain a rose-coloured belief in me and what I can achieve; to such a feverish pitch that he puts me to shame.
I was fine until we hugged it out at the end of my day with him and I realised just how tiny and fragile he is now.
The exact reverse of how things used to be when I was a kid. Then Pop seemed like the strongest, kindest, tallest man in the world to me.
I almost made it home, but I finally lost it in Victoria Station. That's right, I sat down on one of those horrible plastic waiting seats and had a little cry.
Sure it makes me a total wimp, but maybe it's just the measure of how much I love that feisty little old man, my Pop.
Thursday, 30 May 2013
Talk About Fireworks !
I recently encountered my first piece of online hostility from Twitter when a little bit of mischief went haywire.
A friend made a comment about a well-known money 'producer'. I couldn't resist a little bit of playful fun, so replied to them, complaining about their poor 'postal' service. The predictable response from the money producer, was that they actually made coins and didn't deliver parcels doh ! I laughed and then tied up the joke neatly with a "Really"! response.
I thought that was it, but I was wrong.
Far, far away in a Twitter galaxy not too many million miles past the other side of politeness, two throughly charming individuals entered the conversation with such an aggressive tone, that I was genuinely surprised.
One who called me the 'B' word for being 'stupid' and the other who called me 'easy' (no, I don't know where that came from either ?) and told me to admit my 'mistake' and 'save my dignity'? Over reaction ? Totally. I responded saying his obvious lack of humour was sad and he was very easy to wind up.
Twitter is a universal forum for open, transparent opinions, but verbal abuse, well we can all do without it.
The' B' word has always repelled me and the use of it when insulting someone is just so unnecessary. Surely the English language has more to offer us, in terms of clever word play between 'smart' online duellers? To think that much passion was evoked, by a very obvious silly joke.
Everyone's enttiled to a voice and when it's challenged as an individual you can deal with it, in whichever you see fit. You could launch into a drawn-out online dogfight - battling for your views to be heard or just try to get in the last word.
You could respond in sarky tones or take the higher ground; which is to look beyond sound-offs and be heartened at being part of a global virtual nation, where freedom of speech is to be lauded, not mistreated or diminished by ill-tempered exchanges, often about very little.
In business, as in this example, the money producer's community manager dealt with the verbal ping pong effortlessly.
First, by clearly defining the tone of the exchange.
With good humour.
Several witty responses were issued, followed by a few retweets and a reminder to the user of the' B' word, that it was inappropriate, and that no further responses would be made to the individual concerned, if he continued in that tone. I was impressed.
Balanced live virtual opinions will always be exciting and often challenging, but some will inevitably be met with confrontation and general negativity. In a business this is thankfully addressed by a community manager.
A good one can handle just about anything, that's thrown at them and ultimately reverse a situation favourably, making the role of brand engager, I believe an increasingly vital component within business today.
Want to know what the next messge was that popped up after that Twitter set to ? "Live is too short - enjoy it! Exactly.
Monday, 27 May 2013
Colin Eyes the Prize ! - Interview With Eyewear Designer, Colin Leslie (Part 2)
(Here's Part 2 of Divasdelite's exclusive interview with Colin Leslie)
DD - You're a member of the Ethical Fashion Fellowship 500. Can you tell us more about the Fellowship?
CL - The Fellowship 500 is a collective of ethical, eco and sustainable based companies and brands, who support the well-being of the planet. We all care about how and where products are made. We've elected to make an ethical stand, by not supporting things like slave labour and mass wastage.
Being Ethical has changed so much over the years. It used to be viewed as faddy, a little hippy, but thankful things have changed. Being Ethical is fabulous just like CL glasses.
The Eco Unit.T range is made from recycled acetate frames, injected into new moulds. Sourced bamboo and drawstring dual-purpose eyewear pouches made from ...would you believe plastic drinking water bottles; that are soft enough to clean your lenses as well.
DD - What have been the toughest challenges you've faced running the business in the midst of a recession?
CL What recession ?? CL sunglasses and fashion frames have been selling like hot cakes !! Bamboo eyewear is the latest craze to hit the UK this Spring/Summer 2013. What’s cool is seeing so many celebs wearing CL #bamboo #shades and fashion frames.
We’re definitely on the rise and our biggest challenge is keeping up with the demand. Our most popular styles are the Eco Unit.T Retro ranges as seen recently on Twitter worn by UK actress Elana Di Troya.
DD - What promotional advice would you give to up and coming fashion/accessory moguls?
CL - Mogul? I’m hardly one of those yet ! I’d say I’m a guy who loves what he does at work. Advice, well I’d say I’ve used the skills of my building trade to promote my brand and I'd sum it up like this:
1. Firstly lay down the foundations.
2. Have a vision of how and where you want the brand to go.
3. Follow your ideas paths and tweak it along the way.
Pretty much the same way to building a house.
DD - Where do you see CLE in 5 years time?
CL - Hopefully CLE will become an iconic eyewear brand like Ray Bans, Oakley, Gucci and D&G. Not just because they are ethical but because they’re cool. I’ll know I’ve really done well, when I can look around and see copies of my glasses, when I’m on holiday.
DD - You have a fabulous array of celebrities wearing your eyewear and I read a great endorsement of your glasses from Alicia Silverstone on her ‘The Kind Life’ blog. For all of those up and coming designers out there, how did you manage to snag them?
I can’t tell you how excited I was when I found out that Alicia Silverstone had mentioned me on her “The Kind Life” blog. I have always been a big fan of Alicia's since Clueless. It felt amazing to get a thumbs up from her.
It’s so exciting watching CL grow and encouraging to see how it’s been embraced by celebrities, who of course are such a great way to promote the brand.
Social networks have made it a lot easier to contact celebrities, so I tend to try and go direct to the celebrity or their management. I’m passionate about CLE and it’s great to see that being picked up by customers and celebrities alike.
DD - What's been the biggest break in your designer career so far?
Luckily for CLE there’s been quite a few. Being approached by “Dragons Den” in the early days of CLE. Reaching the semi final in the Barclays Bank “Take One Small Step” 2010 for a chance to win £50,000 out of 3000 companies across the UK.
I loved showcasing CLE at LFW2011 and landing our first celeb “Olly Murs” , who wore our glasses at Heart FM. There’s nothing quite like the buzz I get from seeing a customer or celebrity in our bamboo sunglasses!
But CLE’s biggest break, that has to getting into the Brits Awards 2013 gift bags. That was massive for us in terms of exposure and working with such a high profile event.
CL was named as an official gift bag sponsor. This led to the brand receiving global exposure on various news reports, blogs and media including the likes of GQ , Hello and OK. We even contributed to website reports in China, Thailand and Indonesia. It was crazy, but a lot of fun.
DD - Name 3 websites that you can’t get through the day or week without looking at?
CL- I use Facebook and Twitter daily, to checkout news, trends, up and coming actors, music artists and of course celebrities who I think would look great in CL. My last website definitely has to be “Ethical fashion Forum” http://ethicalfashionforum.ning.com/
If you’re an ethical brand or a designer looking to get noticed, or just grow your brand, then this is an essential site for you. They have endless lists of members, from product photographers, media, bloggers, retailers and other industry contacts.
DD - Name the most remote place in the world, someone has placed an order for your glasses from?
CL - Good question. The most remote place I have sent my glasses to is Brazil. They was the Gunsmoke silver Aviators – they’re very smart looking glasses :0) It’s quite satisfying knowing that the CL website has now reached almost 23K visitors, including Brazil :0)
DD - What’s next for CL?
CL - We want to keep growing the business and continue to make our customers happy. Also I’d love to work with the Brits again after such a great experience this year; and then maybe BAFTA, the Grammys and the Oscars.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy It: Colin Leslie glasses at : colinleslieeyewear.co.uk
Follow: Twitter - @Colinleslie01 / Facebook - :https://www.facebook.com/Colinleslieeyewear
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE COMPETITION
As well as granting me an exclusive interview, Colin has very kindly provided me with a pair of his gorgeous designer sunglasses, as the prize for an exclusive Twitter competition.
Before your designer hearts burst with excitement, the good stuff doesn’t just stop there, oh yes there’s more ! Colin will also put you on his facebook banner AND the the front of his website for a whole month. Now if that isn't a great competition prize, then I don't know what is :0)
What do you have to do - On Saturday 1st June (not before) head on over to Twitter @Colinleslie01 and @divasdelite and RT the competiton tweet to win. Colin will be picking the lucky winer on Friday 7th June.
DD - You're a member of the Ethical Fashion Fellowship 500. Can you tell us more about the Fellowship?
CL - The Fellowship 500 is a collective of ethical, eco and sustainable based companies and brands, who support the well-being of the planet. We all care about how and where products are made. We've elected to make an ethical stand, by not supporting things like slave labour and mass wastage.
Being Ethical has changed so much over the years. It used to be viewed as faddy, a little hippy, but thankful things have changed. Being Ethical is fabulous just like CL glasses.
The Eco Unit.T range is made from recycled acetate frames, injected into new moulds. Sourced bamboo and drawstring dual-purpose eyewear pouches made from ...would you believe plastic drinking water bottles; that are soft enough to clean your lenses as well.
DD - What have been the toughest challenges you've faced running the business in the midst of a recession?
CL What recession ?? CL sunglasses and fashion frames have been selling like hot cakes !! Bamboo eyewear is the latest craze to hit the UK this Spring/Summer 2013. What’s cool is seeing so many celebs wearing CL #bamboo #shades and fashion frames.
We’re definitely on the rise and our biggest challenge is keeping up with the demand. Our most popular styles are the Eco Unit.T Retro ranges as seen recently on Twitter worn by UK actress Elana Di Troya.
DD - What promotional advice would you give to up and coming fashion/accessory moguls?
CL - Mogul? I’m hardly one of those yet ! I’d say I’m a guy who loves what he does at work. Advice, well I’d say I’ve used the skills of my building trade to promote my brand and I'd sum it up like this:
1. Firstly lay down the foundations.
2. Have a vision of how and where you want the brand to go.
3. Follow your ideas paths and tweak it along the way.
Pretty much the same way to building a house.
DD - Where do you see CLE in 5 years time?
CL - Hopefully CLE will become an iconic eyewear brand like Ray Bans, Oakley, Gucci and D&G. Not just because they are ethical but because they’re cool. I’ll know I’ve really done well, when I can look around and see copies of my glasses, when I’m on holiday.
DD - You have a fabulous array of celebrities wearing your eyewear and I read a great endorsement of your glasses from Alicia Silverstone on her ‘The Kind Life’ blog. For all of those up and coming designers out there, how did you manage to snag them?
I can’t tell you how excited I was when I found out that Alicia Silverstone had mentioned me on her “The Kind Life” blog. I have always been a big fan of Alicia's since Clueless. It felt amazing to get a thumbs up from her.
It’s so exciting watching CL grow and encouraging to see how it’s been embraced by celebrities, who of course are such a great way to promote the brand.
Social networks have made it a lot easier to contact celebrities, so I tend to try and go direct to the celebrity or their management. I’m passionate about CLE and it’s great to see that being picked up by customers and celebrities alike.
DD - What's been the biggest break in your designer career so far?
Luckily for CLE there’s been quite a few. Being approached by “Dragons Den” in the early days of CLE. Reaching the semi final in the Barclays Bank “Take One Small Step” 2010 for a chance to win £50,000 out of 3000 companies across the UK.
I loved showcasing CLE at LFW2011 and landing our first celeb “Olly Murs” , who wore our glasses at Heart FM. There’s nothing quite like the buzz I get from seeing a customer or celebrity in our bamboo sunglasses!
But CLE’s biggest break, that has to getting into the Brits Awards 2013 gift bags. That was massive for us in terms of exposure and working with such a high profile event.
CL was named as an official gift bag sponsor. This led to the brand receiving global exposure on various news reports, blogs and media including the likes of GQ , Hello and OK. We even contributed to website reports in China, Thailand and Indonesia. It was crazy, but a lot of fun.
DD - Name 3 websites that you can’t get through the day or week without looking at?
CL- I use Facebook and Twitter daily, to checkout news, trends, up and coming actors, music artists and of course celebrities who I think would look great in CL. My last website definitely has to be “Ethical fashion Forum” http://ethicalfashionforum.ning.com/
If you’re an ethical brand or a designer looking to get noticed, or just grow your brand, then this is an essential site for you. They have endless lists of members, from product photographers, media, bloggers, retailers and other industry contacts.
DD - Name the most remote place in the world, someone has placed an order for your glasses from?
CL - Good question. The most remote place I have sent my glasses to is Brazil. They was the Gunsmoke silver Aviators – they’re very smart looking glasses :0) It’s quite satisfying knowing that the CL website has now reached almost 23K visitors, including Brazil :0)
DD - What’s next for CL?
CL - We want to keep growing the business and continue to make our customers happy. Also I’d love to work with the Brits again after such a great experience this year; and then maybe BAFTA, the Grammys and the Oscars.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy It: Colin Leslie glasses at : colinleslieeyewear.co.uk
Follow: Twitter - @Colinleslie01 / Facebook - :https://www.facebook.com/Colinleslieeyewear
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE COMPETITION
As well as granting me an exclusive interview, Colin has very kindly provided me with a pair of his gorgeous designer sunglasses, as the prize for an exclusive Twitter competition.
Before your designer hearts burst with excitement, the good stuff doesn’t just stop there, oh yes there’s more ! Colin will also put you on his facebook banner AND the the front of his website for a whole month. Now if that isn't a great competition prize, then I don't know what is :0)
What do you have to do - On Saturday 1st June (not before) head on over to Twitter @Colinleslie01 and @divasdelite and RT the competiton tweet to win. Colin will be picking the lucky winer on Friday 7th June.
Sunday, 26 May 2013
Colin Eyes the Prize ! - Interview With Eyewear Designer, Colin Leslie (Part 1)
You may have noticed we’ve been tweeting like crazy all week about @Colinleslie01aka #Colin Leslie Eyewear. So what is it about him that's got us on tweet overload?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say accessories can make or break an outfit. For me that includes eyewear, like some fabulous shades or glasses, which led me to Colin Leslie Eyewear. Founded in 2009, his bamboo ethical eyewear collections have grabbed the attentions of celebrities, fashionistas and moi !
Divasdelite managed to pin down this multi-talented eyewear mogul for an interview, to learn more about him and his brand. Read part one on the interview below:
DD - Colin when did you realise you wanted to become an eyewear designer?
CL - In the early stages I did not realise that I was going to be a designer of eyewear. It just sort of happened, must be fate right? Actually, it all started after an accident that I had on the building site in 2009. I’ve been a carpenter/ joiner for over 30 years. I was off work for nearly 12 weeks convalescing. That got me thinking about the time I wouldn’t be able to climb over roofs and uneven ground, what was I going to do with myself?
So I thought, why not start a new business. Something fun but fashion based. I chose sunglasses because they linked in with my trade. And that’s how CL was born.
DD - What inspired you to design in bamboo?
CL- My passion has always been working with different timbers. Bamboo’s one of the fastest growing plants, at least a foot a day. It felt like the most natural and obvious source product to use and its perfect for ethical fashion.
DD - How long does it take to make a pair of your glasses?
CL - Normally the production of the glasses can take as long as 2 months. From design, prototype, manufacture to the final product.
DD - Where do you source your bamboo from?
CL - The bamboo is specially sourced from plantations in China, Hong Kong and Japan. It’s specially grown as material for furniture and other products. No wild or harsh bamboo is used, as this is harmful to the environments natural habitat.
Fashion as you know tends to go full circle. I am a young 51 with 4 adult children and my first granddaughter, but I can remember wearing the same ‘current’ styles when I was 16. So I’d say my style of eyewear, is more of a modern twist on old classics, Retro and Vintage.
DD - How would you describe your individual style and what inspired this year’s collection?
CL - Fashion tends to go full circle, I am a young 51 with 4 adult children and my first grandaughter, but I can still remember wearing many of the current styles when I was 16. In terms of my style I'd say I'm more of a modern twist of old classics, Retro and Vintage.
DD - What sparked your involvement in the AfCar Game and why should we all get involved?
CL - We became involved with Afcar, due to HKC Management. https://www.facebook.com/HKCmanagementLtd
CL is worn by a few of her celebrity contacts and clients like Rough Copy from Xfactor, singer/actor Ashley Walters from “So Solid Crew”, and Corrie Richards from “Damaged”. Helen Kotonias has been a great inspiration for our brand.
Afcar is a brilliant charity football match event and a great family day out. Team Caribbean featuring Jason Roberts, Andy Cole, DJ Campbell, Jamie Lawrence and Sol Campbell will be facing off against Team Africa which includes Patrick Vieira, the Sodje brothers, Ade Akinbiyi and Ibrahima Sonko
It’s not just a football game either. There’ll also be a dance-off, music, celebrity appearances, food stalls, face painting and a steel band. Tickets will cost £10 for adults and £5 for those under the age of 16, infants will be free. Family Ticket – for two adults and two children – is available for £25.Tickets can be bought on the Brentford ticketing website.
It’s going to be an amazing event and we should all support it.
(Read Part Two of Divasdelite exclusive interview with Colin Leslie tomorrow and we'll give you details on our Twitter competition to win some fabulous Colin Leslie sunglasses :0)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy It: Colin Leslie glasses at : colinleslieeyewear.co.uk
Follow: Twitter - @Colinleslie01 / Facebook - :https://www.facebook.com/Colinleslieeyewear
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say accessories can make or break an outfit. For me that includes eyewear, like some fabulous shades or glasses, which led me to Colin Leslie Eyewear. Founded in 2009, his bamboo ethical eyewear collections have grabbed the attentions of celebrities, fashionistas and moi !
Divasdelite managed to pin down this multi-talented eyewear mogul for an interview, to learn more about him and his brand. Read part one on the interview below:
DD - Colin when did you realise you wanted to become an eyewear designer?
CL - In the early stages I did not realise that I was going to be a designer of eyewear. It just sort of happened, must be fate right? Actually, it all started after an accident that I had on the building site in 2009. I’ve been a carpenter/ joiner for over 30 years. I was off work for nearly 12 weeks convalescing. That got me thinking about the time I wouldn’t be able to climb over roofs and uneven ground, what was I going to do with myself?
So I thought, why not start a new business. Something fun but fashion based. I chose sunglasses because they linked in with my trade. And that’s how CL was born.
DD - What inspired you to design in bamboo?
CL- My passion has always been working with different timbers. Bamboo’s one of the fastest growing plants, at least a foot a day. It felt like the most natural and obvious source product to use and its perfect for ethical fashion.
DD - How long does it take to make a pair of your glasses?
CL - Normally the production of the glasses can take as long as 2 months. From design, prototype, manufacture to the final product.
DD - Where do you source your bamboo from?
CL - The bamboo is specially sourced from plantations in China, Hong Kong and Japan. It’s specially grown as material for furniture and other products. No wild or harsh bamboo is used, as this is harmful to the environments natural habitat.
Fashion as you know tends to go full circle. I am a young 51 with 4 adult children and my first granddaughter, but I can remember wearing the same ‘current’ styles when I was 16. So I’d say my style of eyewear, is more of a modern twist on old classics, Retro and Vintage.
DD - How would you describe your individual style and what inspired this year’s collection?
CL - Fashion tends to go full circle, I am a young 51 with 4 adult children and my first grandaughter, but I can still remember wearing many of the current styles when I was 16. In terms of my style I'd say I'm more of a modern twist of old classics, Retro and Vintage.
DD - What sparked your involvement in the AfCar Game and why should we all get involved?
CL - We became involved with Afcar, due to HKC Management. https://www.facebook.com/HKCmanagementLtd
CL is worn by a few of her celebrity contacts and clients like Rough Copy from Xfactor, singer/actor Ashley Walters from “So Solid Crew”, and Corrie Richards from “Damaged”. Helen Kotonias has been a great inspiration for our brand.
Afcar is a brilliant charity football match event and a great family day out. Team Caribbean featuring Jason Roberts, Andy Cole, DJ Campbell, Jamie Lawrence and Sol Campbell will be facing off against Team Africa which includes Patrick Vieira, the Sodje brothers, Ade Akinbiyi and Ibrahima Sonko
It’s not just a football game either. There’ll also be a dance-off, music, celebrity appearances, food stalls, face painting and a steel band. Tickets will cost £10 for adults and £5 for those under the age of 16, infants will be free. Family Ticket – for two adults and two children – is available for £25.Tickets can be bought on the Brentford ticketing website.
It’s going to be an amazing event and we should all support it.
(Read Part Two of Divasdelite exclusive interview with Colin Leslie tomorrow and we'll give you details on our Twitter competition to win some fabulous Colin Leslie sunglasses :0)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy It: Colin Leslie glasses at : colinleslieeyewear.co.uk
Follow: Twitter - @Colinleslie01 / Facebook - :https://www.facebook.com/Colinleslieeyewear
Let the Good Times Roll !
Hi All, I'm back from under the radar of way too much work (the daytime gig), redisovering my passion (the night-time gig) and unbelievably things are still bubbling nicely along between B and me.
I laid things on the line
"Silence, doesn't equal a happy relationship"
Happily for me B got it and stepped up his game right away. We're not talking every day - let's be honest with work, time differences and just work in general, it's not sustainable. But we have managed to compromise and talk several times a week and touch wood it's working.
So man front tick.
Mum front tick.
She has now thankfully, finished her radiation therapy and with that crazy adventuress soul that I love about her, promptly announced that she's moving house and buying a condo in Miami - I know, she doesn't do things by half my Mum :0)
Finally, there's the work front. In the past three weeks I've had several opportunities turn up that I'm thrilled about...one of which I'm posting after this. What's been great is the excitement and energy you can gain from loving what you do.
Compared with my daytime gig, which seems to be challenge upon challenge, my night-time gig is fun, this plus Mum's situation, is making me consider what I really need to be doing to be happy on all fronts.
Interesting times !!!
I laid things on the line
"Silence, doesn't equal a happy relationship"
Happily for me B got it and stepped up his game right away. We're not talking every day - let's be honest with work, time differences and just work in general, it's not sustainable. But we have managed to compromise and talk several times a week and touch wood it's working.
So man front tick.
Mum front tick.
She has now thankfully, finished her radiation therapy and with that crazy adventuress soul that I love about her, promptly announced that she's moving house and buying a condo in Miami - I know, she doesn't do things by half my Mum :0)
Finally, there's the work front. In the past three weeks I've had several opportunities turn up that I'm thrilled about...one of which I'm posting after this. What's been great is the excitement and energy you can gain from loving what you do.
Compared with my daytime gig, which seems to be challenge upon challenge, my night-time gig is fun, this plus Mum's situation, is making me consider what I really need to be doing to be happy on all fronts.
Interesting times !!!
Sunday, 28 April 2013
The Trouble With B
 |
| Simulated view of a black hole in front of the Large Magellanic Cloud. The ratio between the black hole Schwarzschild radius and the observer distance to it is 1:9. Of note is the gravitational lensing effect known as an Einstein ring, which produces a set of two fairly bright and large but highly distorted images of the Cloud as compared to its actual angular size. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
"Not so good" I replied grimly.
Yes, the one thing that scarced me most about long distance relationships has apparently happened with us - we've stopped communicating.
Now before you ask, we didn't have a fight. I haven't issued a crazy girl hysterical ultimatum or thrown a virtual diva like tantrum :0)
When I say we've stopped talking, I don't mean totally; it's just that our daily Skype chats have ceased.
His responses to my texts now are patchy (by that I mean up to a day can go by, before I get a response sometimes) and inevitably, his responses include those stock men words of dome, that strike fear into the hearts of dating women everywhere. 'Maybe' 'Tomorrow' and 'Later'
So what's going on? Nothing I can talk about because I do respect B's privacy - all I can say is this is a challenging time for him on all fronts.
I absolutely want to be and am trying to be there for him. But this wonderful man who I respect and value so much, keeps disappearing and going quiet and it's freaking the hell out of me.
I'm upset, because first and foremost he's one of my good friends, who I hate to see and hear going through a rubbish time. Yet he can't or won't talk to me.
Then I'm sad because I know what it's like to be in a black hole, where your life is concerned. My dark days took me right to the edge, but I always got up and I learned from it, probably my biggest lesson - to ask for help and talk about what was driving me crazy.
Things maybe better now for me, but I haven't forgotten what it's like to pull yourself out of a hole and then try to do everything possible to stop yourself from being sucked right back into it.
Which brings me neatly back to B. For me relationships are defined just as much by the bad times, as the good, in terms of your experiences separately and with each other.
You and your significant other are a team, that supports each other and talks things through or so I thought. Maybe I'm just too old school for B; or maybe he's just never come across someone who thinks like I do.
What am I going to do? ...Hang on in there and ...we'll see.
Sunday, 31 March 2013
First Meeting with B
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| Image via CrunchBase |
So it’s been a long time coming, but B and I finally met.....and.....it was everything I wanted and then some.
Try as hard as I might I couldn’t help worrying that Skype and cheeky text/email banter might not translate in the real world. I couldn’t be more wrong.
He texted me to say he was waiting downstairs in the car and after one last mist of perfume, I made my way downstairs with my fingers crossed and my heart in my mouth. When I got into the car, I was met with a card, a single red rose and probably the biggest smile in the world from him.
“Wow you’re beautiful” he said, staring at me so intensely and I swear I died a little right there.
He is ridiculously cute (Skype doesn't do him justice at all) and that Hollywood smile, that I’ve teased him about so much (I know, so typical of a Brit to poke fun at the miracles of US dentistry!) was off the chain.
Cher sang 'it’s in his kiss' and she wasn’t wrong! Our first kiss was the best first kiss I’ve ever had :0)
As we drove off into the night for dinner, me clutching my rose and thinking that I have to find the mother of all gifts for P who set us up; I already knew that I’d lucked out.
At dinner, we talked non-stop and laughed a hell of a lot. All those hours on Skype vanished but they weren’t forgotten as they’ve formed the basis of our friendship, which is definitely something new for me when it comes to my love interests.
Friends first, may just be the most important thing I've learnt about the dating game. Yes ,believe it or not, that whole friends first concept has always been a bit of a ‘I should try that sometime’ moment with me.
I’ve always been an impulsive dive-in dater – finding things out along the way and really not spending enough time on the basics, which probably accounts for my some of my more dodgy dating choices.
What's cool about B is that we have fun, which wasn't a surprise, but we've had some pretty hard core grown up chats as well. Nothing's off the table to be talked about and I'm really enjoying getting to know him. I feel comfortable and happy when we hang out together.
The only annoying thing about us, is the obvious, that just as we got into the rhythm of spending time together, my time was up and one plane ride later I'm back in London and he's in the US.
I’ve been in one long distance gig once before, weirdly enough with another US guy, Mr Long Beach many moons ago. He was a great guy, but unfortunately had more issues than even I could handle!
It ended with the harsh reality by me that you both have to give a damn to keep a relationship going and if you both stop communicating honestly, however great that relationship may once have been, it's going to end up dead in the water, if you don't work at it.
Now that I’m a little older and maybe even a just a tad wiser, I feel like I understand what I need to do to maintain a relationship and maybe that’s why things are so easy with B. Before any of you think I've got completely carried away with how things are going, I haven't . My feet are firmly on the ground and both of my brown eyes are wide open !
I know B's a good guy, but he's definitely not a pushover and he's been a wild man in the past, which is another reason why I like him. There's no bullshit or false advertising with him. He gives as good as he gets and there's never a dull moment with him. He definitely keeps me on my toes and that's just the way I like it.
More importantly I respect him - sounds weird, maybe a little old fashioned even, but if you can't respect your other half's actions and opinions (however nuts they maybe sometimes!), sooner or later you are going to run into a wall. I can be pretty direct when I want to be and he's taken everything I've said firmly on the chin, without throwing hissy fits, sulking or getting hacked off !
So what does the future hold for us ? We'll see :0) Right now I'm chilled out, smiley and feel like a very lucky Easter bunny :0)
Friday, 1 March 2013
March Madness !
Right off the bat, complete with an Eastenders style 'fall to my knees moment in the middle of the square moment - Chemo sucks !!!
So the last few weeks have been interesting ! I know it sounds childish, but that's how I feel about it! Mum is hanging on in there with her big C fight.
I honestly can't believe her strength of faith and pure determination to fight it. Her positivity radiates and puts me to shame daily.
She's just been declared well enough, for another round of chemo and both of us are gearing up ourselves up for it. She by praying and me by well worrrying, not sleeping and generally just holding things together; which is what I've done for the past year.
Work has been fast paced and challenging, but I honestly feel blessed to have a job.
On the writing front I've been working on some children's stories, that I wrote for my now very grown up nephew. It's been nice remembering his favourites and the fun I had when I first wrote them for him.
And things with B are.... all good !
So the last few weeks have been interesting ! I know it sounds childish, but that's how I feel about it! Mum is hanging on in there with her big C fight.
I honestly can't believe her strength of faith and pure determination to fight it. Her positivity radiates and puts me to shame daily.
She's just been declared well enough, for another round of chemo and both of us are gearing up ourselves up for it. She by praying and me by well worrrying, not sleeping and generally just holding things together; which is what I've done for the past year.
Work has been fast paced and challenging, but I honestly feel blessed to have a job.
On the writing front I've been working on some children's stories, that I wrote for my now very grown up nephew. It's been nice remembering his favourites and the fun I had when I first wrote them for him.
And things with B are.... all good !
Friday, 15 February 2013
Happy UnValentine Day !
So how was my Valentine's Day?
Distinctly average if I'm honest. No unexpected cards, flowers, cuddly toys or declarations from unmasked admirers, who could barely contain their passion for me :0)
Yes it was exactly as I expected.
The difference this year, unlike so many other years, where I've hoped and dreamed that any love interest I might have been entangled with, had decided to come over all romantic and surprise me; is I had absolutely no expectations of anything happening.
Strangely my usual annoyance at this day of relentless romance and commercial over kill evaporated, giving way to my thanks for the family and friends in my life, who show their love and care for me every day.
I was moved to tears, by an article I read about a widowed advertising director.
His beautiful much beloved wife was killed, by a rogue driver who careered off the road, onto the pavement and straight towards her.
She was pushing their baby son in his pushchair at the time. She managed to push him out of the path of the car, but ended up taking the full impact of it.
One year on, her husband had written a heartbreaking open letter from first from himself and then one from their baby son, 'entitled 'My Lonely Valentine' reflecting on her presence and impact in both their lives, as well as the overwhelming loss that her death had left them with.
I haven't read anything so sad , so bittersweet in a very long time. I haven't come across such painful honesty and searing pain, about finding that one perfect person, loving them unconditionally and then having them cruelly snatched away from you.
Which led me to not fixate on what might have been for me, on that day of lovers, but to remember and be content with the present and making every second count.
Happy UnValentine's Day my friends :0)
Distinctly average if I'm honest. No unexpected cards, flowers, cuddly toys or declarations from unmasked admirers, who could barely contain their passion for me :0)
Yes it was exactly as I expected.
The difference this year, unlike so many other years, where I've hoped and dreamed that any love interest I might have been entangled with, had decided to come over all romantic and surprise me; is I had absolutely no expectations of anything happening.
Strangely my usual annoyance at this day of relentless romance and commercial over kill evaporated, giving way to my thanks for the family and friends in my life, who show their love and care for me every day.
I was moved to tears, by an article I read about a widowed advertising director.
His beautiful much beloved wife was killed, by a rogue driver who careered off the road, onto the pavement and straight towards her.
She was pushing their baby son in his pushchair at the time. She managed to push him out of the path of the car, but ended up taking the full impact of it.
One year on, her husband had written a heartbreaking open letter from first from himself and then one from their baby son, 'entitled 'My Lonely Valentine' reflecting on her presence and impact in both their lives, as well as the overwhelming loss that her death had left them with.
I haven't read anything so sad , so bittersweet in a very long time. I haven't come across such painful honesty and searing pain, about finding that one perfect person, loving them unconditionally and then having them cruelly snatched away from you.
Which led me to not fixate on what might have been for me, on that day of lovers, but to remember and be content with the present and making every second count.
Happy UnValentine's Day my friends :0)
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Fast Love
Wanna hear a story about love on Valentine's Day?
It was so sleekly done, I couldn't tear myself away from doing some hardcore people watching and listening !
Phil and Alice were sitting on a train, when Phil noticed Alice sitting alone. Liking what he saw he walked across the train, presented Alice with a rose and told her how beautiful she looked. As soon as Alice smiled, he asked what she was doing tonight.
She told him and quick as a flash he asked for her number and said he'd meet her.
It was seamless !
Phil even called her phone to make sure she'd given him the right number.
When he got off the train, Alice waved happily at him and as he disappeared from view, she sunk back into her seat and sniffed the rose and smiling to herself.
I'm dying to know what happens next :0)
It was so sleekly done, I couldn't tear myself away from doing some hardcore people watching and listening !
Phil and Alice were sitting on a train, when Phil noticed Alice sitting alone. Liking what he saw he walked across the train, presented Alice with a rose and told her how beautiful she looked. As soon as Alice smiled, he asked what she was doing tonight.
She told him and quick as a flash he asked for her number and said he'd meet her.
It was seamless !
Phil even called her phone to make sure she'd given him the right number.
When he got off the train, Alice waved happily at him and as he disappeared from view, she sunk back into her seat and sniffed the rose and smiling to herself.
I'm dying to know what happens next :0)
Monday, 11 February 2013
Return of The Cheater !!
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| Cheater (song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
But rather how when it's over, you move on, recognising what went wrong and remembering that, when you start your next big love affair.
Since she split up with F, M's been on a roll. Work's on the up, she looks great and personally she's returned to being the sassy little so and so that we all know and love.
F on the other hand just can't let things go and has adopted R's preferred mode of communication, by repeatedly texting M to meet him because..
"We need to talk"
Just to recap on things, F is married and so far as we all know, is not thinking about changing that status anytime soon.
His campaign to win M back, soared to whole new level ,when he sent her a text saying he was 'prepared to be in her bed every night and have children with her".
In that single text, he exposed himself as being one of the most singularly, arrogant, self deluded jerks' ever !
First, trying to win back your ex via text! Just a tad lazy maybe?
Then if you break down his text, just like M and I did, all you can do really is laugh.
1) "I'm prepared"- wow how very generous of you Mr Cheating Pants
2) "To sleep in your bed every night" - How gracious of you, but aren't you still with your wife? Surely she'll have something to say about that?
3) "and have children" - Arrrr aren't you still with your wife?
Nothing like a little touch of self delusion, to stop someone facing up to the fact that they've messed up BIG STYLIE !!
Thursday, 7 February 2013
Hanging Out With B
First to all of you who've already told me this - you're right !
I can't call him Big - because Carrie already did that ! So I'm gonna call him Boo. Why? Because he definitely looks like a man's man, more than capable of handling himself and anyone else for that matter, but when he smiles....yep it's that good ! Kind of like a surprise that sneaks up on you and yells out ...Boo!
So how's it all going ? Just great thank you ! I've gone from being pretty much over 'the fairytale', to an optimistic nutter, who walks around with a semi-permanent dopey grin on her face:0)
Long distance 'dancing', isn't all hearts and flowers though, Skype great, but laughing and talking to a flickering screen, that's at the mercy of IT bugbears, tempermental webcams, crossed lines and other calls, is no substitute for the real deal of having that special someone sat on the sofa beside you.
It's definitely thrown me a cheeky curveball. I've found myself wondering why B hasn't been snapped up by someone else yet ? How for the the first time in a very long time I feel like I've lucked out !
I'm not the involuntary participant of a love triangle I do or don't know about! Hell I've even abandoned that trying to figure out what he's thinking gig, that so many women I know, spend endless hours unsuccessfully doing. Maybe it's years of love disappointment that made me so cynical before B.
Finding myself in the midst of an old style courtship is also strangely freeing. Honesty has always sadly lacking in my love shack, so being with someone who just says it how it is, good or bad is like night and day.
Work is unfortunately, keeping me firmly at my desk until March, at which time, nothing and I mean nothing is going to stop me from hopping on a plane and hanging out with B :0)
I can't call him Big - because Carrie already did that ! So I'm gonna call him Boo. Why? Because he definitely looks like a man's man, more than capable of handling himself and anyone else for that matter, but when he smiles....yep it's that good ! Kind of like a surprise that sneaks up on you and yells out ...Boo!
So how's it all going ? Just great thank you ! I've gone from being pretty much over 'the fairytale', to an optimistic nutter, who walks around with a semi-permanent dopey grin on her face:0)
Long distance 'dancing', isn't all hearts and flowers though, Skype great, but laughing and talking to a flickering screen, that's at the mercy of IT bugbears, tempermental webcams, crossed lines and other calls, is no substitute for the real deal of having that special someone sat on the sofa beside you.
It's definitely thrown me a cheeky curveball. I've found myself wondering why B hasn't been snapped up by someone else yet ? How for the the first time in a very long time I feel like I've lucked out !
I'm not the involuntary participant of a love triangle I do or don't know about! Hell I've even abandoned that trying to figure out what he's thinking gig, that so many women I know, spend endless hours unsuccessfully doing. Maybe it's years of love disappointment that made me so cynical before B.
Finding myself in the midst of an old style courtship is also strangely freeing. Honesty has always sadly lacking in my love shack, so being with someone who just says it how it is, good or bad is like night and day.
Work is unfortunately, keeping me firmly at my desk until March, at which time, nothing and I mean nothing is going to stop me from hopping on a plane and hanging out with B :0)
Sunday, 13 January 2013
My Mr Big
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| SMS: Text Messaging Gets Redesigned (Photo credit: pouwerkerk) |
He's older, smart, talkative, sexy, funny as hell and wouldn't you know it, lives in another country !
I know - there's always something with me right?
It's been awhile since I've flirted with a dash of romance. When your life's in meltdown, trust me romance is the last thing on your mind.
Fortunately for me, now it's 2013, my annus horribilis 2012, is just a memory, I'm enjoying not hurtling from one life disaster to another and actually being able to just live.
Almost as if to remind me how long it's been since I did the love mambo, R popped up again - in his usual 'take me back form' - via text!
This time I'm hoping I've left him in no uncertain terms, aware that the good ship Diva has sailed.
I couldn't help comparing R to MB who took the more philosophical line, that R has probably realised,
'You never know what you've got until it's gone'
That maybe right, but if you honestly really felt that way, why would you push that person away? It makes no sense to me!
Which takes me neatly back to MB who's distinguished himself by loving to laugh, being a nut when it comes to working hard, cheeky text messages and being able to hold a serious conversation, without feeling the need to follow it up by disappearing; oh and calling me daily - because he wants to.
I've no idea where all of this is all heading but I do know one thing - he's put a massive smile on my face and I'm happy :0)
The End of M & F
M and F are finally over, fufiling the age old prophecy that whenever one of your best friends breaks up with their honey, you end up hooked up with someone (more of that in my next post :0) !
Unbelievably their on-off car crash has been a bad habit love dance, that's lasted five years !
You know I'm never shy about saying what I think about somebody. Well if I'm honest, I hated him almost from the moment they started dating. Too smooth for my liking, had an answer for everything and the habit of constantly disappearing, usually when M really needed him.
I held my tongue in the way only a good friend can, while secretly keeping my fingers crossed that she'd see the light and dump his sorry arse.
M finally called it a day, following some online digging about F's 'ex' . His 'ex-wife' isn't and never has been his ex-wife. They're still married. So the whole the time he's been dating M, he's been living with his wife and did I mention, their daughter !
I've come across some Dallas style love twists in my time, but this one truly takes the biscuit !
Unbelievably their on-off car crash has been a bad habit love dance, that's lasted five years !
You know I'm never shy about saying what I think about somebody. Well if I'm honest, I hated him almost from the moment they started dating. Too smooth for my liking, had an answer for everything and the habit of constantly disappearing, usually when M really needed him.
I held my tongue in the way only a good friend can, while secretly keeping my fingers crossed that she'd see the light and dump his sorry arse.
M finally called it a day, following some online digging about F's 'ex' . His 'ex-wife' isn't and never has been his ex-wife. They're still married. So the whole the time he's been dating M, he's been living with his wife and did I mention, their daughter !
I've come across some Dallas style love twists in my time, but this one truly takes the biscuit !
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