Thursday, 29 April 2010

All Change At Chateau BB

Change keeps coming in my life and instead of running from it, I'm welcoming all these 'little' surprises as so far this year, only good stuff has happened because of them.

C and I have just finished hugged it out...why... because he's moving out..sob! He originally moved in as a two month stop gap having got totally fed up with looking for a studio of his own. 7 months later and he's still at mine and what a learning curve it's been for me.

Initially I resented having him around....stupid I know, as I invited him to move in and his monthly rent came in handy. I realised I was really possessive of my space, my loud and quiet times and those weird habits I've acquired from living alone since I moved out of home at 17.

On top of that I was so preoccupied with fighting HWMBO from all fronts and keeping myself from going crazy, that I didn't really try to get to know him. Something which I am still guilty of with people I don't know, but I am working hard to get better at.

Just before the blowout with HWMBO though, we hung out and I found out what a cool, funny, quirky guy he is. When hurricane HWMBO hit hard, C was great, totally on my side, a ray of positivity and my very own home team cheer squad.

I'm going to miss having him around, but as I've learnt everything happens for a reason and who knows who might be the next person through my door. If it turns out half as well C, then I'm going to be very lucky indeed!


I just wanted to say thanks for the warm wishes left in your comments about this posting. You have no idea how much I appreciate them, along with the honesty and commonsense you regularly impart to me.

However, remember one of the many sensible things I have learnt since I started this blog, which has taught me more about myself and my over long list of flaws and self delusions, is that you can't fit a square into a triangle.

If you don't feel that special way about somebody, however, great they may be then you can't make believe yourself into a relationship with them and make it work. Sure it's a beautiful fairytale, but not one, that will end happily ever after.

I know. I've deluded myself like that, a few more times than I care to mention. Nothing beats finding someone who is as out and out nuts about you, as you are about them.

Someone who is your best buddy. Someone who makes you laugh about the most stupid thing ever. Somebody who puts you first. Your very own No. 1 cheerleader. Someone who absolutely has your back all the time.

And above all, someone who has the balls to be strong with you, even when you are flat out wrong and still loves you in spite of it. That for me is the "real deal" man I'm looking for and trust me, there are rare men like that out there.

The real fairytale is making that great relationship work. Being honest, trusting your partner, not cheating on them or taking them for granted and realising every day, even when things are going bad, how damned lucky you are to have that person in your life.

C and I will always be and I know it sounds cheesy "just good friends" - so sorry to disappoint you guys, but there's no fairytale here, just a great friendship that I'm really lucky to have.


Anonymous said...

Oh BB that is such a shame. I am going to miss your funny stories about C. He sounds like an absolute Peach! x

Anonymous said...

Hey Anon you took the words out my mouth. I agree it's a shame. It's so difficult to find a good flat mate. He does sound like a Peach! Like Peaches and cream, always goes great together. Maj xx

Anonymous said...

Hey guys OMG I sooooo agree. BB I really thought C might be the one. You seem to get on so well, despite your initial reservations. I say keep him if you can gal! Do it for all us single gals. I hope you get your fairy tale ending. xxx