Wednesday, 14 April 2010

I Need Tough Love

I am in love… I haven’t finally find ‘a keeper’ or brought a cat (but never say never on that one!)….but I have been seduced by Tough Love – a very crappy, but strangely compelling VHI dating show – my new guilty pleasure after Charm School which is super trashy and hilarious.

Hosted by a very enthusiastic all American guy – Steve Ward – who the announcer manages to make sound like he was introducing a dating superhero in the show titles. He is tall, dark, sort of handsome, has a mega watt smile, guns of steel (either that or he is wearing his shirts too tight) and having told the various ladies on the show off for their crazy behaviour, he just loves to hug it out with them to mark the end of hostilities. If only life was that simple.

In each show, SW (he is so alpha male, I have to abbreviate him to two letters instead of my usual one) doles out dating advice to 8 desperate women who have been dubbed by him names like Ms Fatal Attraction, Ms Bridezilla, Little Ms Weird etc. The show, aside from being super obvious in a lot of what he says, Rule No 1 is Don’t Be Weird – well that rules me and quite a few other women out from the get go!

The show is actually a real eye opener especially if you are female. The host gives women an insight into how guys really think, by providing them with brutally honest feedback from the guys they have just met. All of the guys were super hot of course….so American…and ice cold when they are picking the ladies faults apart! I actually cringed at how dark some of their responses were.

I laughed out loud when SW took his first combative strike against the women by confiscating their phones. Why – well to to physically cut them off from contacting toxic exs, making drunken booty call moment and to hail their new ‘clean’ dating lives, they were encouraged to fill their new phones, with the numbers of all true men instead, of course.

Next SW gave the ladies a boot camp in text etiquette and in the space of 2 minutes took away one of my primary joys, when I am at the beginning of whatever it is you call the latest mess I find myself in with current man I’m interested in.

As you all know I loooove to text. If they’re cheeky ones then that’s all the better, because they leave a big grin on my face and encourage mischievous BB to come out fingers drumming on my mobile phone keyboard, as if my life depended on it and only to get all hot and bothered waiting for a response. But ladies, beware for I have learnt that texting can have two separate meanings for a man and a woman.

Women love texting because we think we are bonding with our men somehow, building our connection with them. That’s our guy and he is making time to text us! Women are also more likely to send drunk midnight caller messages – come on own up, you know you’ve done it! Women come into their own as we then torture ourselves when we don’t get a speedy response or worse of all no response.

Now men are far more practical. Men text when they are definitely interested, bored (R used to text me during his weekly Marketing Sales meetings), while they are at work or out with their friends (n fact sometimes they text you so they can show it to their friends – you have been warned!), curious, horny or just want to move things on a little bit to the good stuff!

“Rule 98 – Text on a Need to Know Basis only” boomed SW giving some great examples to accompany the rule…

”I’m running late”

“I’ve booked the restaurant”

“I’m married". (Always take note of that one ladies!)

Yes, proof positive indeed from SW who beamed brightly having highlighted the real gulf in thinking between the sexes.

No more texting from me? – tick – for about 24 hours, no I mean minutes….oh who am I kidding…..seconds !!

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