Wednesday, 14 April 2010

New Order

They say the pathway to enlightment just like those New Year resolutions that last oh all of two minutes are paved with good, but very disposable intentions.

After a blistering start to the year (at one point I really was wondering what else could go hideously wrong or what other problem would turn up on my doorstep for me to deal with!) I seem to have veered off into the abyss known as getting by or as I like to call it BB off the radar. I gave myself a good talking to and now I’m back on track.

The first thing I did was to go back to the List (you remember the one I began at the beginning of the year covering all my goals for the 2010) and reviewed my progress.

• Top of the list - Leave HWMBO – tick (Although I hated the way things panned out – OMG – I am so much happier now! Sorry M, keeping my fingers crossed for you that you will be following me out the door soon as!).

• Be more honest with myself – work in progress – just like the rest of the world, its super hard being real with yourself and those around you all the time. In fact sometimes it’s just plain draining.

A lot of the time now I find myself really holding back, mindful of the impact of my words and actions in the past and not wanting to go through the same old patterns again.

• Saying No is sooo cool ! – tick – being nice is one thing, being a doormat, well and truly in my past. The awful realisation that nice girls finish last (truly they do, unless they have a line in the sand they won’t let you cross and if you do they reserve the right to kick your arse and cut you off – well I do anyway!) hasn’t meant the end of my world and people suddenly thinking I’m being a cow (well I hope not!).

Actually it’s opened me up to looking after my goals and objectives ahead of everyone else’s all the time. Sometimes you really can be so reasonable that people take the total P with you – because you let them over and over again. Yes, it’s pretty obvious what I’m talking about with that one right?

• Stop trying to justify or understand the truly unexplainable – massive tick - I’ve spent a lot of energy puzzling out why people behave in the crazy ways they do. Bearing in mind most of my actions have all the logic of snail trying to climb back into someone else’s shell, sometimes you just have to let things go and leave the past in the past. Reasoning with ghosts is what crazy people do!

• Meet somebody – on ice – if it ain’t happening, it ain’t happening – I’m sure I can continue to find men to send running for the hills VB ! Loving your positivity there, that’s is of course you are still reading the blog – I would miss you if you didn’t, really I would!

Seriously, currently have 3 irons in the fire - all in the friend zone – which is a darn sight less complicated than hitting the love train, with birds singing and impending doom around the corner. Have decided to hold fire with a more in-depth status update on the boys, until things get a little….arh…..warmer! Who knows maybe I’ve finally cracked it…now that really would be something to write about !

• New adventures – work in progress – I booked my trip to Miami and Cuba – can’t wait !

• Change my gym routine – tick - changing it up is really working for me, I’m doing something every day, but always different.

• Don’t procrastinate – work in progress - I can turn the simplest task into a mammoth project, just because I won’t deal with things when they happen. Thinking is all well and good, but action can actually nip problems in the bud sometimes.

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