The Best Christmas Party

After the impersonal superclub venue of last week's party, last night's tasteful venue in a classy London enclave was a well executed affair.

It was intimate enough to hold all of our team and its guests, a DJ, bar, entertainment and still had just enough dance room for everyone to comfortably throw their best bad arse dance shapes !

There's something about free food and drink, that causes those who are asked to 'dive in' to always over indulge in it.

There are of course consequences to this. Aside from the obvious canape overload, which generally leads you to stuff yourself just for the hell of it and if you happen to be wheat intolerant, bloat up like a blow fish, alcohol is a much more deceptive seducer, that divides its indulgees into distinct groups.

The first are the steady eddies. They know their favourite tipple, don't mix their drinks and move onto water as soon as they hit their limit.

Others however, push through with some decided dodgy outcomes.

One hot and happy couple have so far been sighted snogging at the annual offsite, last week's party, once again tonsil wrestled at our party, as soon as the alcohol hit their system.

I'm not sure what the they're waiting for, but I think on the evidence of last night, they should get a room and work things out!

Then you get the middle ground martha's. This group manage to hold their alcohol, or it seems like they can, until the end of the night. This is when their memories lapse and suddenly they found they've lost stuff.

Two gems were J who thought she lost her I-phone searched everywhere and then found it safely stashed in her cheeky thigh boots! T worked herself into a annoyed frenzy, when in her cab home she 'realised' she'd left her handbag in the club.

Several frantic phone calls later, the cab dropped off one of her fellow travellers, who oblivious to the panic, after a back of the cab snooze, handed over the 'missing' bag, over to T who had given to him for safekeeping.

The last group are the never know when to stop brigade. This special band take it to the max. Drink til they can't stand, lose the power of sensible speech or just want to hump the next person or pillar they come near.

Just like H who finding herself barely able to stand or speak, accepted the kind offer of a bed for the night from a colleague. In the middle of the night she got up and decided to go outside and get some fresh air, in her pjs.

Unfortunately, she managed to lock herself out. Instead of knocking on the door and waking up her host, she flagged down a cab and asked to be taken to the nearest police station, which is where she spent the rest of her night.

Realising that she was in no fit state to come into work, she left a sheepish voicemail for her boss, briefly explaining her status and asking that he spare her blushes, which of course with a story that funny he obviously didn't do.

Arrrr the joys of the Christmas party !!