Thursday, 20 August 2009

Back To The Future

I had lunch with some old work colleagues, who just happen to be located 10 mins away from my current workplace. I was greeted at my old office by the beaming face of one of my favourites JF, an old school gent with beautiful manners and a genuinely honourable persona, who led me to my old boss M. M was a little bit greyier but otherwise completely unchanged.

What struck me was the smallness of my old workplace. When I arrived there as a very young temp, I was awestruck by the idea of working for an independent publishing house. Phones rung off the hook with deals being made and lost and I felt proud to be working in the midst of grown-ups.

I remembered getting my first very, very small paycheque and being so very proud of myself for making the move from Denim Specialist (folding jeans at the Gap!) to Receptionist/Secretary and ultimatelybecoming theirAssistant Picture and Copy Editor.

In a 'Sliding Doors' moment I wondered what would have happened if I had never left them. Would I be happier, would I be wondering whether there was anything beyond that Georgian four-storey where the publishing house is mind raced with all manner of what ifs.

As I caught up with the news of colleagues past and present I was struck by the ridiculous nature and pathways our lives can take. When I didn't earn a bean, I was in my most creative job and probably the happiest I have ever been, I lived in one room, ate worst then any student, spent most of my downtime clubbing and generally not sleeping (insomnia isn't an issue when you are young, but when you're older it truly becomes a bore!) and was a big fish in a very small pond.

Now I earn a decent salary, own a house that's empty (unless I'm in it), work crazy hours for a global giant for next to no appreciation and my only creativity extends to blogging and my photography. No wonder I am craving emotional substance....something's got to give. All I have to do is figure out is what it is I 'need'.

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