Thursday, 6 August 2009

Return to the Stag

Sometimes as a writer, you are faced with a reporter's dilemma - to tell or not to tell. R asked me not to recount an incident which happened yesterday, so of course I am going to anyway; purely because it was a golden moment. Sorry R, but admit it you still love me anyway!

After a tough day of multi-tasking graft, the lure of the Stag was too much to resist. By the time I arrived a hour late, TJ, N and R had already secured a table and ensured my favourite full fat tipple of coke was ready and waiting for me.

I hadn't seen R since his tired and emotional confessional about his break-up with Alex. I was delighted to see him restored to his gorgeous self, clad in black v-neck t-shirt and matching trousers. N was on riotious form, talkative, endearing, and of course funny as hell, while and TJ, well TJ was just her normal sarcastic self, which of course is just the way we all love her being - being a super sarky cow!

Our evening was full of the drink and laughter I had been looking forward to. N talked about his holiday home in Italy, taunting us with a picture of his builder's son who was too, too beautiful, prompting equal helpings of envy and lusting from us. R gave an update on his lovelife. He is kind of over Alex, but not quite (they're now f... buddies) and his most recent conquest is a champion ex-athelete. Then R mentioned that he was off to Cornwall with the family.

"How are you getting there?" said TJ "I'm flying" said R. "You're flying?" I said spluttering on my coke. "You're flying" said TJ "By the time you drive to the airport, check-in two hours before you're supposed to fly, actually get on the plane, go to baggage claim, catch a cab and finally arrive where you need to go, it will take you longer than it would have done to go via train or car". "You're flying?" I said again still disbelieving what I heard.

"Who are you flying with?" said TJ barely able to hold back her laughter. "BA " said Rob who by this time was throughly annoyed with all of us. The laughter that followed was too much for him and when N suggested that he fly "Air Majorie" in his best Little Britain Majorie Dawes impression R snapped.

"I've had enough. I'm going on this bloody holiday, with my family and I don't bloody want to and I'm feeling crap and the least you guys could do is just stop taking the piss out of me. I've just had enough and I'm very angry!" With that he got up from the table and flounced outside for a cigarette.

"Looks like he won't be flying Air Majorie after all" said N wickedly.

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