Thursday, 10 June 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For!

Just like rain and buses, men often appear when you least expect them and for some reason (or maybe a lack of women on the two particular websites I subscribe to!) my inbox is bulging with new prospective beaus vying for to ‘connect’ with me, which after my whinging minnie posting yesterday makes me look like the self absorbed cow I can sometimes be ! .

You can always count on the universe to balance things out and make you laugh when you realise how completely over the top and needy you are being.

Out of the 14 emails I received, the following were the ones that grabbed my attention, not all of them for the right reasons!

E, is in IT, dodgy taste in t-shirts as shown in his profile picture, easy on the eye, with a lovely smile and as he put in caps in his profile “LOOKING FOR A NON DRAMA RELATIONSHIP”. Now that would be a novelty for me!

Then there was C29. a 29 year old property developer, kinda of cute, with a full head of very floppy brown hair, some funny photos and an even funnier profile.

A real cutie pie, but just a little young for me, but yummy enough to send a cheeky mail back to just for the hell of it.

Then there was ‘The Suspicious One’ - Y who’s opening email entitled YOUUUU !! said..

….. “I just needed to tell you….you’re amazzzing !“

This of course had me in stitches right way. Talk about over the top. I’m just your average female, not some super heroine, who performs out of this world human feats, unless we are talking about having the capacity to retain song lyrics and celebrity gossip in my head, like some working media encyclopaedia.

There is nothing particularly outstanding about me, apart from my filthy laugh, extremely small ears and a pocketful of opinions I like to spout to anyone who’ll listen.

I know what I see in the mirror doesn’t quite tally with the me I see in my mind’s eye - A truly fabulous diva (depends on the day, the hour and the moment) and about 6ft (in my dreams!) without heels.

Faced with a mega cheesy profile and email from him, coupled with the absence of his own photograph and my alarm bells were ringing off the hook.

A profile without a picture can mean so many different things and all the single ladies out there should be aware of the following, when faced with such a situation.

1)Your prospective love interest is a little shy.

2) He perhaps lacks confidence in his looks – maybe he’s a little overweight, bald or just generally unfortunate looking.

3)He is a married man - yes, MM’s can be very naughty indeed. Some pretend they are ‘separated’ while some others, are actually brazen enough to say they are married on their profiles.

4)He is your classic multiple numbers player. He already has a full-time girlfriend, but is looking to take some time out of the relationship without actually telling his girlfriend about it.

5) He can’t upload a photograph of himself – which means he is either unable to follow simple instructions or just couldn’t be bothered to find a decent picture.

Y went with option 5, then gave me his mobile number – the one he only gives to ‘special people’ (?), his MSN and yahoo accounts and asked me to send him some more photographs of myself.

Now does that sound legit to you? No? Me neither!

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