Unwelcome Gifts

Image by Puzzler4879 via FlickrIf you think you've got a gripe about your work place, nothing and I mean nothing has a patch on the ex employee, for the company I work for, who left a little gift for the company on our front door today.

I sent one of our interns out on a few local errands. When she came back from the last one, she handed me a bag she found dangling on our office reception door.

She handed it to me and I opened it. Inside it was a large turd. That's right a turd !

I retied the bag quickly and asked her to put it discreetly in the public bin outside.

Twenty minutes of CCTV footage review led us to the culprit, sacked the night before for leaving the business without permission and well before the end of his day.

I've heard of people thinking their work was 'crap',  but I have never see them demonstrate it sooo creatively !

Something and Nothing !

It's been a pretty nothing week. By that I mean nothing much happened.

The new gig that I am chasing, is moving ever closer, but instead of running away with my dreams like I did last year, my feet are firmly on the ground. If I pull things off then....well let's just keep our fingers crossed shall we!

Not So Crazy In Love Part 2

EPILOGUE - because isn't there always one with a break-up story ?

E sent one last text to TH

"I'm happy to talk with you, but face to face. I deserve that at the least after your text"

TH responded

"Does that mean anal? :0) x LOL"

Before realising a sex joke in the middle of a break-up probably isn't the smartest thing to do, he sent one last text.

"Sorry bad joke x"

E has understandly not responded.

Not So Crazy in Love !

Image via Wikipedia In my unofficial capacity as a love non-guru, friends and acquaintances tell me all the gory details of their love woes - and thank goodness, otherwise I might just run out of things to talk about,  particularly now I'm off the dating market.


Today's chapter of love comes from E who has just been dumped via that most irritating method of break-up accessories - text message !!!

WTF !!!

E invited me to her boxercise class, where I spent quite a lot of time trying to save my hands from being broken in boxing pads, as she vented her rage against TH and all men in general.

At the end of the class she showed me the offending text:

"Dear  E, I visited my parents yesterday and friends last night. Having spoken to friends and family, I can't see myself being in a position to support a family (or us) and thought I should let you know.

Realistically, I need to (selfishly) focus on my long-term financial situation. Sorry I should have thought about things more. I'm going to footie tonight. Hope you had a good day out with the girls -x-".

"Where's his back bone - talking to his friends and family before you and what a lame arse excuse about finances....you earn more than he does...and what century is this guy from?" I said, almost choking on my OJ.

"I know apart from being a dick wad, when we first met he said  he wasn't sure what he wanted, didn't want any children, wanted to travel. Then does a 360 and says he can see us being together for a long time, even kids in the right circumstances. I know he's just been made redundant, but lots of people are in the same boat right now?"

"You said it cherub" I replied.

"I know you didn't just take that crap lying down what did you reply?", I asked.

E passed me her phone.

Mmmm nice text. Wasn't aware I had suggested I expected or had asked you to do anything for me. Grown-ups talk to each other and deal with the good stuff and the bad stuff.  I am truly, truly surprised at you for sending me that text. I deserved a face to face and honesty. I absolutely wish you the best and know you will be ok.

and then a few minutes later.....

I am actually still shocked and disappointed by your message. Whoever gave you the impression that when the going gets touch you bail and that all women expect to be supported financially is a fool.

I think you have taken some of our conversations and put your own take on them and made some really unpleasant assumputions about me and women in general.  I feel like a complete fool. I thought you were an honourable man. Am I so unapproachable  and awful that you couldn't sit down and talk about your issues with me?

TH replied

No, not at all. Was going to try and see you earlier, but didn't have enough time. I might be able to talk with you after footie. Will let you know.

"He dumps me then says he might be able to talk to me after footie. Unbelievable !" said E, sinking the last of her red wine and reaching for the bottle.

There are moments when you simply have to go WTF.  I didn't have any words for E. Honestly what could I say. Fortunately, she's definitely a 'Next!' woman, but I can tell she's underwhelmed and hurt. We all thought things were great with her and TH and then out of nowhere, he sends that half arsed message and tanks things.

Text dumping is nothing  but a big fat cop out.

E texted TH while she was with me, to ask him to talk face to face, but you and I know that sadly for her, that's so not going to happen.

Balloons and Baby Showers !

There's nothing like a baby shower to bring out more ooh's and argh's and general silliness then you could imagine.

Yesterday was one of those days.  Z one of our favourite ladies at work is four weeks away from becoming a Mummy to a bouncing baby boy.

N and C stepped up to organising duties, arranging the venue, food, guests and presents with all the gleeful enthusiasm of a birthing cheerleader squad !

What made me laugh the most, when I met up with them just a few hours before baby shower kick-off, was just how excited they were it.

The source of their excitement was decorating the venue and the essential ingredient was going to be some balloons.  We headed over to Scribber which was unfortunately closed to us, despite N's best puppy dog look at the grumpy assistant still inside the locked shop, who mouthed the words 'CLOSED'.

Next stop was Marks and Spencer - which was also closed and then we hurried along to Hamleys which was you've guessed it closed. C and N nattered on about how disappointed they were and just for a moment I could see how they must have been as little children and I just couldn't help laughing.

Just before we got back to the venue we found a lone newsagent open in a side street, so we went in still looking for those darned balloons.

"Excuse me sir, I know this sounds a little random but do you sell balloons?" I said smiling.

"No I don't sell balloons" he replied.

"But I do have my own special balloons you could blow up !"

He winked at me as he said it, then grinned broadly.

As we were in the middle of Soho, two shops away from a a sex shop it wasn't too hard to figure out what balloons he was referring to !

The cheeky bugger !

Ebs and Flows

Image by Getty Images via @daylife So it's been a tough week.  As much as I have tried to love my latest gig, I've come to the conclusion that for the hours I work and the commitment I give to it, the rewards are so nominal I wonder why I'm  still actually bothering. Worst of all I am knackered all the bloody time ! All I want to do is sofa slouch !

Fortunately, I'm smart enough to know that a diva can only sofa slouch for so long, so I did make the effort get out and about to do some networking this week and I've decided to do a lot more of this to create some more gig opportunities.

S is beavering away - writing loads and generally being out and about on the hunt - I'm sure she find a new place soon.  She's seen enough properties and I've had enough virtual property links to last me a lifetime!

Back at BB Towers H is moving out this week and my search for a housemate is continues to be a challenging one.

Finding someone who thinks like you in terms of head space and understands how you need and choose to live, is a tough call.  That essential good chemistry mix and caring non-selfish gene from  both parties is a rare thing indeed. It will be interesting and hopefully fun to see how the next one works out. 

The fact that I know exactly what I don't want now or simply won't deal with is great. Instead of silently seething, I'm just going to say it and this should make things a lot easier.

The weight loss continues. A combination of the gig and the gym means that I'm sliding into more and more clothes I couldn't a year ago, so I've got no complaints :0)

It's A Wonderful Life !

Image via Wikipedia Death has touched my life several times so far. On each occasion it has impacted me so much, that I've found myself appreciating more and more the need to live every day as if it were your last.

This weekend C very narrowly escaped death. She and a group of friends were driving back from a girls weekend in Liverpool , when SG lost control of the car and spin it.

They were incredibly lucky not to have died or been seriously injured, or find themselves in the path of the numerous other cars on the road as well. As it was they were all shocked but walked away without a scratch.

When C came into work and told us, our instant reaction was to thankfully hug her several times, check she was ok and tell her how grateful we were that she is still with us.

Her reaction was "If I die I die" and "I'm not scarced of dying".

It saddened me, because C is one of life's truly lovely people who genuninely doesn't have a mean bone in her body and strangely seems unable to acknowledge how great she is and how much she is loved by others.

I reminded her of that Christmas classic "It's A Wonderful Life!" when Jimmy Stewart spends the whole movie, learning just how important his being born is to all of the people around him.

Sometimes we forget the impact of our own presence. The influence we have on others, often by default and the miracle that is our lives, however, difficult and troubled they can sometimes be. I can't bear to think about how we would have felt if anything had happened to C.

My garden of life is slowly coming to life again after a truly awful 2011, but as C's brush with death reminded me instead of us wasting time and energy being impatient about what hasn't happened yet, sometimes we just have to take a moment to stop and be grateful for what we have at present.

Kidnap and Kisses !

Image via WikipediaSo R's back and I am grinning from ear to ear ! 

He came over to BB Towers yesterday for dinner.  He met and of course loved S.  I couldn't shut the pair of them up talking...it was like chatterbox central in my living room !

I've got to be honest, I've been a little worried about R and I lately.

Our lack of time together due to my stupid work hours, trying to grab evenings at his and never, ever, having BB Towers to ourselves; was seriously hampering us moving forward on any level.

I pulled out all the stops first by cooking dinner - lamb shanks in wine and vine tomato sauce and then 'kidnapped' him and took him to a secret location (a cheeky little hotel I know) and reminded him once again just what a naughty BB I can be :0 )

R admitted it was the best thing I could have done, as he was getting fed up with the permanent 'us plus one' status at BB Towers as well. 

We got to talk about some other road blocks we'd both been avoiding confronting.  Unlike other similar conversations I've had in the past with other love interests, it was easy, grown up and surprisingly open.

So I ended up having a killer fun, very romatic night with R. I woke up feeling happy and most of all totally chilled out, had brunch with him and then hung out with S.

A perfect Sunday and best of all R and I are right back on track !

She's Here !!!

Yes the cool ship S has arrived at BB Towers !!  Hooray !

She's already making her mark - suitcase in the living room,  tapping away on the laptop (she's a mega blogger like me), she's already given me a killer receipe to use on R for tonight ...God it's good to have her around :0 )

Happy Friday !

Image via WikipediaI'm knackered but inspired !

I bumped into Y today who I worked with last year on a really fun project.  Although I had fun working with her, she made it mega clear that she felt ready for one of those 360 life makeovers happen to us all at some stage in our lives.

Before I could even get the words out, she told me she'd made such a change. Jacked in her job and the way of life she'd tied to it (long hours, drinking, rowing with her boyfriend and being tired all the time), to do what she'd always wanted which was to paint.

She enrolled at art school, met a fabulous new man and now works as a youth mentor in the Arts.  Y achieved all of this by taking a chance on chasing her dreams and happiness.  Now how many of us are brave enough to stop thinking about our dreams and just go after them.

We're meeting for coffee and a proper catch up next week :0)

All Change Please !

Well it's not even the end of the first week of January and it's all change at BB Towers. H has started preparing herself to move out.  S arrives on Saturday for a few weeks, having spent Christmas being entertained by several of our friends and finally getting over her flat buying disaster.

She's already hinted that I will be on 'seeing flats' duty with her and to make sure nothing goes wrong this time, she's using my solicitor whose a total gem.

She once again promised to keep her luggage on the light side (it's either that or she'll have to sleep in the garden, because that's the only available space I have left at BB Towers!).

R's back from his 'boys only' holiday at the weekend, so I am looking forward to a cheeky catch up and the light has finally gone on at my current work gig too. I have to turn around a mega presentation and being the secret nerd that I  am, I'm really excited about it !

The Biggest Bitch !

Image via WikipediaI have long held the view that although some women can be perceived as sometimes being bitchy and gossipy, there are some men out there who could trump them without
trying!

T gave me her reasons why over a cheeky latte today. She works with two guys - one middle management, one with delusions of being middle management.  They are currently involved in a power struggle, which of course only one can win.

They are sending catty emails, have taken to gossiping about each other, like it's an Olympic sport and are bitching so hard at the moment, that they are starting to pull other people into their feud including T.

"Honestly it's like watching two bulldogs sizing each other up. All they need to do, get their dicks out and see whose is the biggest!" said T scornfully.

Is He For Real ?

Image via Wikipedia So how did L get along with her text dumping ex?  Not that great....the coward couldn't even be bothered to show up, to tell her why he dumped her !!
Horror of horrors he clearly hasn't learnt anything from his original dumping you text faux pas, because sure enough, he texted her today to say he couldn't meet her tonight, Thursday would be better for him.

This slight was enough to shake L for any soap opera wine in your face moments or 'I want you back' delusions.   She simply texted back

"No that is not ok and I'm done with you!"

What I love about L is she never let's man trouble make her miserable. Describes every new beau as being 'delicious' and always has a 'man in reserve'.  The current one is a male model and she's off on a date with him on Sunday.

What better way to get over a Christmas break-up !

New Year, Same Old Sh..!

Image via Wikipedia I have so far kept my New Year's resolutions for an amazing three days. The only reason for this is because I didn't include get fit, because fortunately I was able to get a handle on looking after my body beautiful last year.

Looking through the endless rows of magazine at WH Smith, it seems every womans magazine, has got some miracle diet featured on it, a dollop of fat and thin celebrity photographs and the obligatory 'true life look what I've overcome' stories.

I say you can keep them. Instead of being sucked in by these sirens of reduced calories and heart warming tales, pitting myself against them in terms of lost inches and amazing feats, I'm sticking to basics. Not taking myself too seriously, having fun and hitting the gym for Zuma and yoga.

One thing that never changes, no matter what the year is, are dating disasters. Thankfully, I'm not referring to myself . L was dumped over Christmas...by text.

As you all know I have long banged the drum about men who bail via text. Apart from being bloody rude, it's so cowardly lion, particularly if you then ignore the angry phone call of the person you just dumped.

L is meeting up with M today for a face to face, having told him texting dumping was totally not on. She looks incredible (having adhered to the universal rule to always look amazing if you are ever meeting someone who dumped you!) and is so fired up, I bet he barely gets a word in edgeways !

Lesson about to be learned !

Action Stations !

Image by Esther17 via Flickr Today I went to work.  Nothing extraordinary there, except it's the first Bank Holiday I've been compelled to work on in years, and perfectly sums up what happens if you don't seek out and do what you love however, difficult it maybe to hold out for.

To help me get my faux work game face on, I actually took my own advice and took some time out for myself ,at a coffee house around the corner from my work. It's amazing how clear your thoughts are just watching people going about their day to day.

I started ticking things off my to do list and encouraged by my unexpected organisation, arrived at work chilled out and hopeful.

Hopeful of  building upon the opportunities I've already sniffed out for February and trusting of myself not to leap without looking at something that looks like a result :0)

Start As You Mean To Go On

Image via Wikipedia If there's one habit I'm not going to break in 2012 it's going to be putting things off.

Starting as I mean to go on today I made a list.

I know very old lady with a shopping list of me, but its the only grown up way I know how to get organized ! I tried it in on my iphone first but managed to lose it...twice!

Top of the list was sorting out a few DIY jobs at BB Towers. I could wait for R to roll up his sleeves, but I figure it'll be much quicker to pay someone and less likely to end in a row.

R has been his normal gorgeous self, especially since we've managed to 'schedule' consistent, uninterrupted quality time :0); and it looks like I can expect more of the same in 2012 (yay me !).