The Bolter !

Well it's official DG is history. Whereas at the beginning of the year, I might have dissolved into a wave of self pity, locked myself away with a tub of Haagen Dazs Pralines and Cream and 'All True Woman CD2', wailing 'All By Myself' at the top of my voice, this time I am merely a little disappointed. Let's be blunt the boy (because that is how he's behaved!), is plain rude! Complete silence - totally fucking rude!

As for DG himself well, of course I still like him, I'm not some type of emotional tap, that switches itself off at will, but I do have contempt for his cowardice in not manning up and saying he'd changed mind. Typical schoolboy moment from an ultimately immature man.

I called G last night to break the bad news to her. "Something bad must have happened" said G hopefully, until I told her the full story.

Having concluded that things were definitely terminal via listening in on my conversation with G, The Fool then interjected with "Men have feelings too!", "No they don't!" I retorted snappily via third party G. Readers we all know that men do of course do have some feeling, just to a much lessor extent, more like your basic, I don't give a shit really variety.

It was left to A who summed up exactly what type of man DG is via his text to me this morning "What a fucking idiot he is!". My thoughts precisely. As well as making me laugh out loud with his text sent to me on a crowded train enroute to work, A also provided me with invaluable advice about another species of man to look out for on the dating circuit.

The Bolter ! The Bolter is the man who for all intents purposes appears to be a true throughbred. He is at first super keen, overly attentive, has charms so smooth that they could be carved out of butter and ultimately seems to display the sincere nature of a genuine good guy.

However, potential daters beware, the time commitment that a Bolter invests in you will only ever be fleeting. The moment that it looks like the fairytale (which is often being played out fastforward in their heads, in both wholesome and carnal versions) will need to be translated into the rather more mundane arena of real life; that is when the Bolter bolts. In short, DG is a classic Bolter.

Which brings me full circle to my year of internet dating which is very nearly up and has ended like it begun, with me still being single. My rose coloured glasses, which prevented me from seeing beyond the romantic fairytale the whole of my pretty shit dating life, have gone. Permanently smashed, never to be repaired. I have been seeing guys for the very first time exactly as they are, not as I want them to be.

Including DG, there's been the Dane - the ultimate female viagra shot - too beautiful to ever have to wait around to get laid by me or any other woman for that matter !

Then of course there was the psuedo relationship (felt like one, but wasn't actually one!) with M2 (remember him, yes i'm still trying to forget that one myself!). You remember the one I went away with and who dumped me ten minutes after we got back, but more importantly thought it was a great idea to text me some five minutes later to tell me to "Keep smiling" - what a jerk!

PP the one who failed so miserably in his attempt to get me into bed, ignored my morning after end of the day text "How was your day?" -which I still believe is one of the most ungirly, asexual things you could ever say to a man after a first date.

But those four little words somehow managed to freak him out so much that he a) didn't respond to the text and b) when he next saw me a few days later, was embarrassed enough to duck into a train carriage rather than say hello! What an arse!

Mr DJ who dropped me a line to say that he had 'got a better offer' (or was it one, or two or three or maybe even four - another guy using the internet to get over a relationship gone bad!)

S the self proclaimed 'nice guy' IT Director who first thanked me for helping him to regain his confidence after a dry dating spell, then told me as he was just letting me know that I was ok to look elsewhere as he has found his dream girl. Let's not forget his super kind offer of perhaps getting in touch with me, if it didn't work with his dream girl. Thank you !

A guest 'appearance' from H both via my recollection (finally over him - I know it took me long enough!) and he popped up on his birthday this year, before ending as we always do with him 'vanishing' off the radar again - hold on a minute is that repeated behaviour complex?

Joking aside, with a love life that can be described kindly as a stuttering non-starter, I am amazed I am still holding on to the old adage that there's someone for everybody.

If that's the case, I wish he would flamming well hurry up, because I am totally bored with this 'waiting' for him lark ! Or as your hooked up friends always like to glibbly say to you "When you least expect it, it will happen". My response - Bollocks! Its so easy to say stuff like that when you are on the other side of the fence - hooked up and happy!